Today I've been cleaning to earn some extra money alongside my day job. My friend is a single mum, same as me, with various income streams, none declared. She gets housing benefit, universal credit and free hours for her son at nursery. I am a home owner so I don't get anything and on a whopping £20,000 a year I don't get free nursery hours for my son.
I've never said that she should work. I've kept my mouth shut when she's told me that she'll get a job after the summer is over so that she doesn't miss out on sunbathing time. I've never said that she shouldn't let her son watch hours of television whilst she charges people for eyelash extensions and spray tans that she does in her spare room.
However today when I told her what I was doing and why (because I'm in £2000 of debt due to my stupid ex) she told me that I need to budget better and that I spoil my children. 'They don't need all those toys, you need to learn that less is more.'
I was stunned as I don't tell her how to spend her money. I work so so hard and my children are the one thing in my life that make everything worthwhile, and they have to deal with being in nursery a lot whilst I work. Everything I have goes to trying to keep them in our lovely house, to take them on holiday once a year and on fun days out. I never have nights out, I don't have my hair, nails or have expensive tattoos. I just live to give them the best.
I just don't know how to move on from this, I feel like we are too different. I am a degree educated cleaner who would rather scrub people's toilets rather than claim anything. Why does it feel like everything I was taught is wrong? How can I have worked hard all my life yet be so broke and she can send her son to nursery whilst she has a day in a spa? I know this might sound judgemental but her disposable income is four times what mine is due to her not officially earning anything! It doesn't seem fair.
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For her to judge the way I spend my money?
63 replies
TheMessyCleaner · 17/08/2019 15:46
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