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Man Walking Into The Toilet Whilst Child Using The Toilet

(216 Posts)
TreeHuggerMom Wed 14-Aug-19 17:04:35

I’m not sure if this post belongs in here but I just wanted to get other people’s opinions on a situation. Whilst at Soft Play today, my 8 year old son was using the toilet in a cubicle, the lock was broken so his older brother was next to the toilet guarding the door but you could see a child was inside using the toilet from the outside. A man walked in and went in front of my older son and pushed the door open and was looking down at my son’s private parts whilst he was going to the toilet, which lasted about 8 seconds. He then left and continued to wait out of the cubicle then my son left the toilet. Both my children came to me and told me that the man had been watching my son inside the cubicle whilst going to the toilet. I approached the guy who was quite hostile, whose mother then said “Don’t you start with us!”. I wasn’t hostile atall, I just stated calmly that my son said he entered the toilet whilst he was in there and watched him, he said he went into the toilet and was looking at the piss (his word) on the floor. I then said it didn’t give him the right to go into the toilet and invade his privacy because it made my son uncomfortable. He was again hostile and told me to go away. I then explained, as a parent, it is my duty to enquire because it clearly made my son very uncomfortable. Now I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable to question him, I feel if I hadn’t I would have been dismissing my son’s concerns. I would never do something like this myself and can’t see any reason why he needed to enter the toilet whilst my son was going to the toilet.

Thanks in advance!

QOD Wed 14-Aug-19 17:06:22

A man who was with his mother ? Older teen you mean ?

downbutnotout2018 Wed 14-Aug-19 17:08:05

There seems to be a really odd politics to male toilets. I had a situation with my 3 year old using the men's loo. A man walked passed and got in the cubicle with him and locked the door! I was not pleased and told him so!

TixieLix Wed 14-Aug-19 17:09:58

You were right to challenge the man. He shouldn't have barged in, and shouldn't have stared at your son when he was exposed.

I'm a bit confused by this bit though.
I approached the guy who was quite hostile, whose mother then said “Don’t you start with us!"

So this was a grown man in a soft play area, and he was there with his own mother? What was that all about?

Finfintytint Wed 14-Aug-19 17:11:31

Lock was broken so not clear if it was obvious anyone was inside.
Older brother wasn't guarding the door, clearly. Man thought it was available and the 8 seconds thing is a child's perception of time.

LoseLooseLucy Wed 14-Aug-19 17:11:42

What are you asking exactly? You obviously weren't being unreasonable telling someone not to push their way into a cubicle your child was using.
Or for looking down at his private parts hmm

Passthecherrycoke Wed 14-Aug-19 17:14:12

Tbh I really don’t know what id do in this situation. Approaching a weird man (and his mum?) seems pointless but it’s hard to know what else to do? Inform the soft play management?

IAskTooManyQuestions Wed 14-Aug-19 17:15:53

8 seconds is quite precise if you weren't in the room

FilledSoda Wed 14-Aug-19 17:16:10

No you not unreasonable to ask him .
The fact that your question was met with such hostility makes it even more suspect .
When men use cubicles to pee do they not do it alone ?
That post from downbutnotout is really alarming

Coffeeandchocolate9 Wed 14-Aug-19 17:18:14


Zebraaa Wed 14-Aug-19 17:18:17

@Finfintytint I’m with you

Biancadelrioisback Wed 14-Aug-19 17:21:25

Something doesn't add up here...

FrancisCrawford Wed 14-Aug-19 17:23:18

I’m confused at the adult mans mother answering for him.

Why had she taken her adult son to softplay?

inboxmayhem Wed 14-Aug-19 17:30:55

@downbutnotout2018 WTF??? I would knocked the bloke out .......

Contraceptionismyfriend Wed 14-Aug-19 17:34:03

* . I had a situation with my 3 year old using the men's loo. A man walked passed and got in the cubicle with him and locked the door! I was not pleased and told him so!*

I'm sorry what?! Who was with your 3 year old?!

MarieIVanArkleStinks Wed 14-Aug-19 17:36:03

I had a situation with my 3 year old using the men's loo. A man walked passed and got in the cubicle with him and locked the door!

WTAF? I think this would qualify as a police matter.

AngelasAshes Wed 14-Aug-19 17:39:06

What’s the issue? Don’t men and boys pee in urinals with everything on view all the time anyway?
If you think he’s too young, then take him into the ladies room with you.

HeadintheiClouds Wed 14-Aug-19 17:39:19

Grown men going to soft play with their mothers... Another man locking himself in a toilet cubicle with someone’s three year old right in front of their eyes...
What is this? Is there a full moon?

Saucery Wed 14-Aug-19 17:39:57

Did he have a learning disability? It’s the only explanation that fits, really, if his mother spoke for him.
Did you tell the staff the lock was broken? They need to get that fixed, for everyone’s privacy.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Wed 14-Aug-19 17:40:32

Agree AngelasAshes. I think it’s a non issue.

melissasummerfield Wed 14-Aug-19 17:41:47

@downbutnotout2018 what?!

TreeHuggerMom Wed 14-Aug-19 17:42:05

Sorry, i thought i mentioned he had two older kids downstairs sitting with his mother. I can understand someone accidentally walking in on a child but my other son said he went in front of him and it was easily seen through the gap in the door that my 8 year old son was using the toilet, as the toilet is side on. What i don't understand is why he said he was looking at the piss (again his word) on the floor, why would that even be a concern. Surely any person, who walks in on a child would say something along the lines of “Oh sorry”, then immediately walk out, not stay there and watch my son using the toilet, they’re entitled to as much privacy as us surely. I just found his reasons and the hostility odd.

Sparklingbrook Wed 14-Aug-19 17:42:43

I don't understand what went on TBH. Maybe you had to be there with a stopwatch.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Wed 14-Aug-19 17:44:14

grin @ Sparkling

TreeHuggerMom Wed 14-Aug-19 17:45:36

AngelasAshes - He was using a cubicle, its a children's toilet too, the adult unisex toilet is downstairs. No he's not too young to use a toilet himself, he does it at home and school everyday.

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