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to not use proper words????

(19 Posts)
WildAngel Wed 14-Aug-19 15:08:56

Having read an earlier thread about using baby names such as Moo Cow I wondered on peoples opinions on using "other" names for genitalia. We'd always referred to them with our DC's as 'Boys Bits" and "Girls Bits" sometime winkle/winky/ Foof....
My DD thought it was quite funny when she had her Sex Ed lesson at age 10 and realised that there were other"proper" names!! AIBU to use these names or am I continuing their innocence until those body parts start to change in function with the dreaded Puberty?!?!?! (I must stress there's never been any secrecy or made to feel any parts of the body are shameful - just use of more childlike names)

ChaosTrulyReigns Wed 14-Aug-19 15:14:23

DC should know and use the correct terms for genitals to ensure unambiguous conversations.

Lilyofthefields Wed 14-Aug-19 15:15:42

I think it's ok to use informal words like bum rather buttocks or finger rather than digit. However, I think you keep your child safer if you give them words for specific body parts rather than vague, or no, words at all.

Lilyofthefields Wed 14-Aug-19 15:16:22

(My last sentence was dreadful, I hope you get my drift!).

Lilyofthefields Wed 14-Aug-19 15:17:02

We'd always referred to them with our DC's as 'Boys Bits" and "Girls Bits" sometime winkle/winky/ Foof

Can you explain your reasoning behind this?

AloneLonelyLoner Wed 14-Aug-19 15:17:48

As long as you never use the words 'front bottom' I'm down with it. Front Bottom should be banned as comparing a vulva and/or vagina to something shit comes out of should be shut down immediately.

That said, I always use vulva and penis and vagina. It's important. They are names for these things and these things are an important part of their bodies and identity.

Bubblysqueak Wed 14-Aug-19 15:17:52

They really need to know the proper words to help keep them safe.

WildAngel Wed 14-Aug-19 16:11:06

@lillyofthefields

No real reasoning really - something I grew up with and carried on I suppose!

They are both fully aware of the proper names now and we regularly talk about safety as they both are into sport and spend a lot of time with coaches/kids where we cannot supervise.

I thought it was quite normal but I'm thinking maybe not now blush

HappyNOTdriving Wed 14-Aug-19 16:21:51

I understand why and I think lots and lots of parents handle things exactly the way you have.

think though it's important for children to learn things so they have the correct information to be in control, to feel in control of their bodies, to be safe and also to recognise when something is happening that isn't ok or safe. Not just specifically regarding this but in lots of areas too.

The saying hindsight is a wonderful thing is a saying for a reason.

I'm not trying to bring the thread down but by 10 I'd already been sexually abused for 2 years and while knowing the correct terms for my body parts probably wouldn't have stopped anything I think those conversations form part of a bigger pattern of conversations so kids learn in safe ways. Often the simple conversations about what is my private area called mummy? leads to a natural way to talk about for example the underwear rule. Or what to do if an adult, even one you love touches you etc.

ScreamingValenta Wed 14-Aug-19 16:28:41

winkle/winky/ Foof

I don't really understand why nicknames like this are seen as better than universally understood terms for body parts. They are just words - a vagina is still a vagina whether you call it a winky or a foof.

For some things I would say using a childish name is harmless, but as pps have said, it could lead to confusion in a situation where a child might be at risk.

ElizaDee Wed 14-Aug-19 16:51:05

I think it's ok for small kids, but yabu in letting your DD get to 10 without knowing the proper words.

If you hadn't told her the correct terms, had you not told her about periods etc?

Lilyofthefields Wed 14-Aug-19 16:53:29

I thought it was quite normal but I'm thinking maybe not now

I think it was, but understanding around these issues has improved. Like pp I think one reason I didn't ever disclose sexual abuse is because I didn't have the language with which to do so. Without language it is difficult to even have the concept.

zackly Wed 14-Aug-19 16:53:53

I don’t see how it’s ‘preserving innocence’ though, any more than it would be to, say, constantly refer to a head as a ‘noggin’ and act all coy about what it’s really called.

SoyDora Wed 14-Aug-19 16:59:54

Vulva is just a word. I don’t understand why it’s any more ‘acceptable’ to people to use words like foof or winky. They’re just words.

UnWilly Wed 14-Aug-19 17:00:47

I had a thread ages ago about Sweden inventing a word for girls’ genitals equivalent to ‘willy’ for boys

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3192074-UnWilly

www.theguardian.com/world/2015/aug/01/sweden-girls-genitals-feminist-invention-snippa-vagina

AnAC12UCOinanOCG Wed 14-Aug-19 17:01:49

Winky and foof ffs. Have a word with yourself. A proper word.

lucylouis Wed 14-Aug-19 17:04:44

Lol we used to always call it a tinklepot!

user1480880826 Wed 14-Aug-19 17:08:05

There is evidence that using the correct anatomical words protects against sexual abuse.

Recent research shows that knowing the correct anatomical terms enhances kids’ body image, self-confidence, and openness. It also discourages their susceptibility to molesters. When children are abused, having the correct language helps both the child and adults deal with disclosure and—if necessary—the forensic interview process.

there is a general consensus among clinical experts that children who know the anatomically correct names for their genitals are better able to avoid abuse, or to talk about it if it happens. From the American Academy of Pediatrics: "In early childhood, parents can teach their children the name of the genitals, just as they teach their child names of other body parts. This teaches that the genitals, while private, are not so private that you can’t talk about them."

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/going-beyond-intelligence/201703/call-children-s-private-body-parts-what-they-are

Fowles94 Wed 14-Aug-19 17:08:46

As long as they know the correct terms I can't see the problem with nicknames. I'm an adult and never had to use the correct terms as nobody including my gynaecologist (who I see regularly) has ever brought it up.

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