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AIBU to stay at home today?

(89 Posts)
MinisterforCheekyFuckery Wed 14-Aug-19 11:33:17

MIL turned up (unannounced, but that's a whole other thread) about an hour ago to drop something off. Older DC was sat at the dining table doing crafts and baby was crawling around the playmat surrounded by toys while I was folding some laundry. MIL was visibly horrified that the DC and I were all still in our pyjamas. Teeth have been brushed, faces washed and hair brushed btw! She then said "I assume you are planning on leaving the house at some point today?!" with her best cats bum face. I said "actually we were planning on having a quiet day at home today" and I was told in no uncertain terms that I was BU, "lazy" and that it was "unfair on the DC".

It's miserable, grey and pouring with rain here, which is forecast to carry on all day and all evening. I'm absolutely shattered as baby was up several times in the night
and awake at 5am (teething) and I think probably disturbed the older childs sleep too as they seem very tired. So far this summer holiday we've been away for a week to the coast with my DP's, been to a theme park, been swimming, visited a Castle, visited an NT property, been to the local park a couple of times, had a couple of playdates with school friends (and got another one planned for tomorrow) and 5yo has had a couple of sleepovers with Grandparents. AIBU for thinking that we've done a reasonable amount of stuff with the kids so far this holiday and it won't hurt them to potter about at home for the odd day? AIBU for thinking this is fairly 'normal' or am I being lazy?

I am (slowly) recovering from PND and although this is manageable now, I do still find myself being a bit sensitive to criticism and often second guess myself, especially when it comes to my parenting so this has been playing on my mind a bit since she left.

EssentialHummus Wed 14-Aug-19 11:34:55

No yanbu. Wow - she walked into your home unannounced and declared that she wasn’t happy with your plans for the day? Fuck that.

user1474894224 Wed 14-Aug-19 11:37:21

I am currently upstairs folding laundry hiding on Mumsnet my kids are in the living room on devices and TV. We were going to venture to local charity shop but it's absolutely pouring. Yesterday we swam. Tomorrow I am taking eldest to London and younger 2 are going to a museum with GPs. It won't kill them. Your kids sound happy. (my mum would make a similar comment). Crack on. Enjoy your quiet day. You can always pop out for a walk later if you think the kids need it.

lmusic87 Wed 14-Aug-19 11:38:58

She sounds very rude, just inviting herself in then insulting you.

A slow day is often needed by all, I bet your children are enjoying it xx

Bookworm4 Wed 14-Aug-19 11:39:25

10.30am and in jammies and she’s moaning, I’d tell her to fuck off as you’re all going back to bed!

Seeline Wed 14-Aug-19 11:39:41

Kids need down time too. It is good for them to learn to play properly and to occupy themselves and it horrible here today too .

catspyjamas27 Wed 14-Aug-19 11:40:22

11:39 and I'm only just getting out of the shower and ds is still in pjs. We will venture out somewhere later but I'm in no rush. It's my first day off in forever. Rude rude woman.

Asdfghjklll Wed 14-Aug-19 11:41:44

We are having simaler day. Kids only been dressed for about 20 minutes. Now all watching some tv. Then maybe something crafty after lunch. Kids need down time too. Ignore rude MIL.

Fatted Wed 14-Aug-19 11:42:50

We are having a PJ day as well today. We regularly don't get out of our Pj's until well into the afternoons on Saturdays. Everyone needs some down time.

Emmabryant123 Wed 14-Aug-19 11:45:11

My parents never used to take us out all the time and we are all absolutely fine
When I was little I loved a day at home playing with my toys

LeslieYep Wed 14-Aug-19 11:45:48

Id have said 'you're right MIL! Thank you for offering to take all 3 out'!

ParrotsForLife Wed 14-Aug-19 11:46:53

She needs to fuck off quite frankly

fedup21 Wed 14-Aug-19 11:47:14

Why has she turned up at your house-just to criticise?!

Please tell me she’s pissed off home now!?

Fairylea Wed 14-Aug-19 11:47:23

Kids love a day at home or a slower day. I’ve asked ds 7 what he’d like to do today, one of my suggestions was the zoo but he said he’d like to stay home and go to the park next door to us on his scooter later on!

Chitarra Wed 14-Aug-19 11:48:08

YANBU. We were at a National Trust property yesterday but just having a quiet day at home today. And two of my three DC are still in their PJs. Ignore your joyless MIL and don't give it another thought.

Blueuggboots Wed 14-Aug-19 11:48:10

Cats bum face? Criticising your plans?
OH DO FUCK OFF DEAR would fall out if my mouth!!

Brakebackcyclebot Wed 14-Aug-19 11:49:17

How very judgemental of her. Your day sounds lovely and I wish my DCs EVER did crafty stuff. She's the unreasonable one

DCIRozHuntley Wed 14-Aug-19 11:49:20

We're still in PJs and kids' teeth unbrushed and faces unwashed! We all need an occasional lazy day and the kids are being ignored doing "open ended play" while I catch up on jobs / Mumsnet / potter about.

We spend hundreds of pounds a month on our houses, doesn't hurt to spend time in them once in a while.

gottastopeatingchocolate Wed 14-Aug-19 11:49:21

She has gone.

As you were!

Perfectly normal. My daughter enjoys a day at home playing with all her toys and games just as much as the "out and about" stuff. I think you have made a wise choice of a rainy day!

livefornaps Wed 14-Aug-19 11:50:35

She can go fuck herself, and then fuck herself some more

blahblahblahblahhh Wed 14-Aug-19 11:54:27

I love a home day occasionally! Tell her to bog off - or tell her to take the kids out for you!

Shoxfordian Wed 14-Aug-19 11:55:45

Is she usually this rude? Tell her to sod off

GoGoGoGoGo Wed 14-Aug-19 11:56:08

Hand her your children and say ‘off you go then’.

Honestly? Fuck her. Children need to have days at home sometimes. I get fed up of this thought that you need to be entertaining your DC constantly. Why can’t they play at home? Kids need to entertain themselves sometimes without growing up thinking the world has to provide them with activities 24 hours a day.

I’ve done loads with my DC this holiday but they’ve also had a few days at home just playing with their toys and watching a film. I get so pissed off with anyone that thinks we’re supposed to be taking our DC’s out in all weathers. Wrap them up, go out in the rain? Why FFS! It’s miserable. Why are kids not allowed to a day to relax? And when exactly do chores get done if you’re not at home? Honestly she’s being ridiculous. Ignore her.

We don’t need to be ‘making memories’ every second of every day.

Ndotto Wed 14-Aug-19 11:56:17

Your MIL sounds like an interfering, judgemental cow. I used to always take my kids out and about with my friends when they were little (because I am restless and don't like to spend all day in the house) but sometimes I would make myself stay in to let them chill out and indulge in imaginative play like arts and crafts because they enjoyed it - it's a perfectly valid way to spend a day, and pyjamas are perfectly valid clothing if you are indoors and planning on staying there, so don't let her make you feel bad. (also why did she turn up unannounced if she didn't expect you to be in?)

MrsMozartMkII Wed 14-Aug-19 11:56:42

She's being an arsy twit.

Enjoy your chill day lass.

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