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To just jack it all in because the family have fallen out over money?

(47 Posts)
cultkid Wed 14-Aug-19 10:28:42

My husband and I live in the same place he has lived all his life.
I've lived here for six years or so since I was about 20
I'm almost 27 and I have two children with him. We have been married five years this year and are really in love. We have been pelted with some really shitty things to do with my health and then his family.
My family live abroad and I lived abroad until I came to the uk for uni.

His family run a business which he owns a portion of. They used to pay him dividends and he worked there full time for about 10 years to found a really successful company.

When I was pregnant and had my first son we started a new business together. It was supposed to run along the family business.

His family have pushed him out of the business and stopped dividends, illeagally as they have been paying themselves them.
The business has been run into the ground.

We want the money and documents he is rightfully owed and we could instruct a solicitor. He has asked for three years to know what's going on with the business.
They have founded new businesses to compete with the family one... they are trying to run it to the end in order to avoid paying him.

It's all turned horrible and sour.
Aibu to just say no more now as it's gotten personal with their comments about me when I've been nothing but loving and neutral?

Should we just move to another place and try again instead of going legal with them and having that horrible experience?

Should we rent out house out and then rent somewhere else?

Aibu to not let them see the grandkids as per his request? They are his family after all and why should he let them see them if they have been so awful ..

Btw our new business required him to re train and he hasn't finished it yet
It's only 3 years old and we have bills to pay which he should have been able to cover based on dividends

He just had a horrific accident at work as well and that's what he was saying for years that he had no security ..

Should we go legal and hold our ground or for our children's sake is it unreasonable to just leave?

Where would you move if you rented out your home for say 1800 a month and wanted to spend a bit less then that on renting somewhere else?

Mrstraveller Wed 14-Aug-19 10:33:20

Is he a Director of the business from which he was paid dividends? Payment of didvidends is up to the discretion and agreement of the Directors. There may be any number of reasons as to why the Directors have years where no dividends are paid. Has he seen the accounts?

Soubriquet Wed 14-Aug-19 10:33:26

Tbh, I would call it all off and then stop with the contact

Money disputes can be incredibly bitter, and I think this would be a small price to pay to stop the aggro.

Move away if you wish

Mrstraveller Wed 14-Aug-19 10:35:37

...also depends on % ownership of shares. My husband and I own a business 50% each. If we pay a dividend we have to take the same amount each.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Wed 14-Aug-19 10:39:30

How much money are you talking about?

cultkid Wed 14-Aug-19 10:42:46

So he owns 17%

Class A & B share
They are paying dividends to each other but not him they have the same class of shares

They have withheld accounts also illegal so could enforce it with solicitor

Approx maybe 150 thousand potentially

Not certain

BloomingHydrangea Wed 14-Aug-19 10:45:53

If he is a shareholder:
Are all shares of the same class? If so then you have to pay to all shareholders, but you could chose to pay someone who worked in the business a salary which may leave no profit for any dividends.

So say a business typically paid each director £10,000 but they then got another £30,000 in shares from the profit. You could legally change the salary to £40,000 and then there would be less/no profit.

They do have some legal obligations to shareholders. Is he also a director? What does the memorandum and articles say about voting for dividends etc? (all on the companies house website)

But the rest sounds perfectly legal, you can run down one business and open another one with different shareholders.

BloomingHydrangea Wed 14-Aug-19 10:47:49

So who has class A shares and who B? Which class has voting rights?

Have you looked on companies house for the accounts?

Lepetitpiggy Wed 14-Aug-19 10:48:07

Sod it! Get a solicitor and get it back. They are bullies. I cannot bear this type of thing.

cultkid Wed 14-Aug-19 10:49:07

They have paid themselves dividends and not given him them. We have the bank statements which he went into the bank to get

He is also a director. They have used the company money to start new businesses without his consent

I also know they have raised their paye as way of cutting the profits down
But they have with held dividends too

Can't find the memorandum on the companies house for some bizzarre reason

Soubriquet Wed 14-Aug-19 10:49:22


Sod that! Get a solicitor and take them for everything

TowelNumber42 Wed 14-Aug-19 10:49:54

Have you checked the published accounts? Go to Companies House.

I would be strongly inclined to move far away and set up / move the business to there. Is it portable?

cultkid Wed 14-Aug-19 10:49:53

He does have voting rights but they haven't included him

Should we go legal and also leave the area
I am so done

cultkid Wed 14-Aug-19 10:50:50

Our business is portable yes

His family business is very anchored here
I just want what's fair

But they have began an assassination of his character and mine too, which is untrue and irrelevant

TowelNumber42 Wed 14-Aug-19 10:51:01

I'd leave the area. Then when you have distance seek legal advice on whether it is worth pursuing them through the courts.

Lepetitpiggy Wed 14-Aug-19 10:51:07

Don't leave the area if you are happy there. Instruct a solicitor and don't let them get away with it.

RushianDisney Wed 14-Aug-19 10:53:00

For a six figure sum there is no way I'd be ignoring it, legal action is sadly necessary here. It's horrible that so many families fall out over money

cultkid Wed 14-Aug-19 10:54:11

Wtf I've just seen this on companies house
"Resolution of adoption of articles of association"

What does that mean are they trying to change them

AmIRightOrAMeringue Wed 14-Aug-19 10:55:42

What on earth happened that caused this? Surely the grandparents arent seeing your grandkids anyway when they are stealing their dads share of the business?

It sounds like there is no love or respect there so I would instruct a solicitor in the first instance as you have nothing to lose. And think about where is best to live for your family only as it doesnr aound like thrte will be any relationship with the wider family

CoraPirbright Wed 14-Aug-19 10:58:57

Can you ever see a way back to a relationship with them in years to come? If not, then I would fight tooth and nail - what they have done is disgusting! With the moving - do you love where you are or would you be happier elsewhere knowing the shit that they are going to rain down on you if you are local?

I say move and instruct solicitors!

cultkid Wed 14-Aug-19 11:03:07

I'm going to research where to move to and instruct

I've just seen on companies house two days ago they have submitted a change of the articles of association so I reckon they have tried to strike my husband off

They are awful

StormTreader Wed 14-Aug-19 11:03:27

"Wtf I've just seen this on companies house
"Resolution of adoption of articles of association"

Get solicitors onto all this and do it NOW.

ememem84 Wed 14-Aug-19 11:04:35

Yes. Check the articles of the company and see how many shareholders are needed to make changes. I think usually you’d need at least a 75% majority. But the articles may say differently.

The resolution should also tell you what the proposed changes are.

Agree with others though. Get legal advice. If it was only a few who’d I wouldn’t bother. H

cultkid Wed 14-Aug-19 11:07:34

There is 4 directors
His mum dad brother and him
So that's how they have done it

I'll ring the solicitor today and instruct them

we are very tight financially at the moment and it's £600 for them initially but they are very good


PettyContractor Wed 14-Aug-19 11:34:14

It's usual in a small business for the dividends to be in effect a tax-efficient salary for the worker. So I can see why they might think he's morally no longer deserving of the dividends he's legally entitled to, once he left to do do something else.

I feel there's something missing from this story, like why does his family hate him, why are they making changes without consulting him. If he think he's just legally entitled to money without doing anything .... he's legally correct, but I can see why to them he looks like the bad guy.

(I'm assuming the business depends on the labour of all involved, that the others aren't generally sitting back doing nothing and reaping dividends, which could be the case if the business is big enough.)

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