(I don't give permission for daily mail. newspapers, to use this information)
NC for this as pretty sure my username is recognisable. I am 26 and DP is 25. We have been together for three years, friends for years before that and we went to university together. We live in a 2 bed house and both have graduate job earning roughly, 27k each. Funds can be tough as we are based in the SE where our rent is 900pcm! (this is cheap) but we get along fine and it’s cosy. DP’s parents live roughly a 15-minute drive away.
Relationship with DP’s parents has always been a bit rocky. I moved to DP’s town a year after university and soon we were living together. My family are living in the NE so around 4 hours away. DP’s parents are quite formal and conservative, and we have never gone any deeper than polite conversation. I see them twice a week and have never even sat in their living room the whole time I’ve been with DP, it’s always a very formal cup of tea at the table. I have invited DP’s mum out for shopping, afternoon tea before and she never replies to my texts/brushes it off in person so I’ve given up trying. DP said they are just quiet, fair enough but after 3 years?
My family aren’t scum by any means, Dad is a director of marketing and mum is a nurse, however I get the impression that DP’s parents feel we are from a lower class. DP’s dad has always earnt 100k plus a year and they’ve always had big house, three cars. I’m not really bothered by money but they do ask a lot of questions about my parents, their jobs, even now when they know everything.
Anyways, onto the main issue. I have been on the pill for 3 years- never any problem. I was recently (10 weeks ago) hospitalised with an infection and given Rifaximin via IV. I didn’t realise until I was out of hospital that this would have interacted with my pill- plus I didn’t take my pill the whole time I was in hospital due to just forgetting and sleeping and feeling genuinely awful. Fast forward, four days ago I found out I was pregnant. DP and I are both in shock but gradually coming round to the idea. We discussed all options and decided that we both would keep the baby.
DP went to tell his parents and they are furious- saying I trapped him, I’m irresponsible and that I’ve basically ruined their son’s life. They’ve requested that I don’t go round there for a while until they calm down and they aren’t sure of when that will be. They’ve mentioned money trapping and all sorts (very upsetting for me considering we earn the same, and have the same degree). DP has tried to defend me but they won’t have it. I think he wants to keep peace both sides.
I understand that they are upset and will calm down but I feel disgusted that money has been mentioned. Also being 4 hours from my own family, I sort of would’ve loved their support in this. DP’s mum is a mum of four , and I’d have loved her guidance and advice.
AIBU?
Pregnant and DP's parents angry?
notsurenotsure48 · 13/08/2019 11:02
Congratulations I hope you both enjoy parenthood.
these people should be deeply ashamed of themselves ( but sadly wont) it is their lose. They are losing the company of you and you letting them be involved if only they had any dececy .
Karma happens and I believe they will come to regret this.
Do not lower to them and let them upset you. Materialism is vulgar at best.
Congratulations on your pregnancy. I'm sorry to hear his parents have been so awful, esp at a time when you need support and love from family. They sound absolutely terrible.
While they might 'come around' quickly, I would aim to set the tone early on, both with them and with your partner. It's important that he be on your side, and that he makes that very clear to his parents. I'd they see him wavering, trying to keep the peace it will only encourage their poor behaviour. You can't treat two sides equally when one is a totally reasonable partner and the other rude, offensive parents. Though hard, once they have had time to calm down he should make absolutely clear that he won't tolerate them being rude and disrespectful towards you.
That way they are more likely to behave respectfully as they will see they can't out a wedge between you.
Good luck, wish you an easy pregnancy and a healthy happy baby 
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What an absolute pair of fuckers - they sound really nasty. They may have money, but they have no class. I wonder if they're the sort of ignorant types who assume that anyone without a home counties accent is just one step away from the workhouse? And how come the entrapment isn't the other way round? It takes 2 to make a baby, after all.
Your DP needs to have your back on this, they may not "calm down" and it may not be possible to keep the peace. I've read a lot of threads on here started by women who are looked down on and treated like second-class citizens by their partners' parents, and it boils my piss, frankly. I wouldn't set foot over the threshold of someone who spoke about me like that.
Will he stick up for you? Will he refuse to listen when they accuse you of "trapping" him? Is he sufficiently committed to you and the baby to put you first, regardless of what they think, do and say? You two should be his first, last and only priority for now.
You sound lovely, OP and you don't deserve criticism like they've been dishing out. Your DP needs to have a stern word with them imo. I get that they're not going to be delighted for you both, but if they haven't got something civil to say, they should STFU.
And you'll get loads of support from your own mum, we have Skype and everything now. 
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