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To think this is really grabby- bordering on cheekyfuckery?

(273 Posts)
FurCoatNoSnickers Thu 08-Aug-19 12:01:45

Ds is at a newish school - he was so happy to have been invited to a karting birthday party - turns out the whole class were invited - details were - the date- the activity-transport provided (it’s a 80 mile round trip) and a request of Amazon vouchers for present. In the last few weeks since they broke up I’ve been updated with further texts from the mother of birthday boy asking for deposits for the karting (£20) and the remainder on the day (£30) THEN that was followed up by a request for £20 for the transport hmm

This morning she (in my opinion) has the gall to request we pack a generous picnic with ice packs and pack extra so the birthday boy doesn’t have to bring anything

I was going to decline following the minibus request but ds was so happy to be invited - I think this is the final straw and I’ll instead take ds and a friend karting myself at this rate

DH says I should like it or lump it and if everyone else seems to be going then it would be a shame for ds to miss out

Deejay25 Mon 09-Sep-19 10:13:44

What I want to know is: has the event happened? Did anyone show up?😁

Mothership4two Mon 19-Aug-19 01:02:31

Do you know what Mumsnet is for, Bcrossbb?

Mimimishmash Tue 13-Aug-19 22:03:32

Your not in the wrong at all. The prob is you don’t let your DS go and your the bad mom.

I would take him but only bring enough for your DS. Make it clear you have what your DS likes and then your little one can have fun but it’s just him you pay out for.

When it’s your little ones bday you send her a nice invite just as ridiculous.

SchadenfreudePersonified Tue 13-Aug-19 12:15:05

greedy conmam

grin grin grin

GREATAUNT1 Tue 13-Aug-19 07:34:54

Hope the greedy conmam was names & shamed.

Enjoy TP op!

malificent7 Tue 13-Aug-19 05:04:22

Tell her straight...i would. She cannot go on like this surely?!

Rubyupbeat Tue 13-Aug-19 02:53:52

I love the bit about the packed lunch. Pack extra so the birthday boy doesnt have to bring anything (another thing she doesnt have to do)
That bit takes the biscuit! shock

mathanxiety Tue 13-Aug-19 00:39:04

I can't think of any country where that is the norm.

BritWifeinUSA Tue 13-Aug-19 00:36:49

Is the mother maybe from another country where it’s normal for people to pay to go to a party AND bring food? Maybe she’s not aware of how rude it comes across to us?

Speakercube Tue 13-Aug-19 00:36:07

Haven't rtwt but OP..... 80 mile round trip? Know that's not what Yr asking about but how long is that gonna take? Apart from the extortionate amount to pay it seems that they are going a long way for a karting party. It wouldn't have been so bad if she was asking for half. Karting dear but usuparents pay for the party and for a few friends. This is crazy. It's crap cos you don't want Yr dc to miss out. Cf the mum is.

nellynoel Tue 13-Aug-19 00:29:06

NO WAY , its teaching kids that friends can be bought , if your son needs to make friends organise a class get together meet and greet have a BBQ, game of cricket , just a social day at home or in the park ..

CTRL Mon 12-Aug-19 16:01:43

Bloody cheeky gits !

No way i would be paying. Your talking £70+ just to go, then expects to bring food and vouchers on top of that !?!

The bloody nerve of some people !
If the parents can’t afford to have a party, it’s that simple - they can’t do one !

If I were you I would go go karting with my son and his friends and I guarantee it won’t be so expensive.

AloneLonelyLoner Mon 12-Aug-19 15:41:42

Sorry new replies just loaded. He's not going. Yay! Ridiculous CFery

AloneLonelyLoner Mon 12-Aug-19 15:39:03

What @Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe just said.

Absolute CFery.

Text her, 'just to be clear, the guests are paying for the party and feeding themselves?'

Bcrossbb Mon 12-Aug-19 15:14:25

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

1arlingtonroad Mon 12-Aug-19 08:55:55

I think so @Bunnyfuller

honeybee88 Mon 12-Aug-19 01:00:05

Well...this can work both the same to her when its your sons birthday!

Mothership4two Mon 12-Aug-19 00:37:10

As most MNers have said appalling, rude and grabby behaviour. You are doing the right thing and not playing her game. Also, it is so off to demand presents - I have never come across this before. I don't bring up the subject of a gift for my kids parties, although there always is one - some parents ask for ideas and some don't.

I was wondering more about the health and safety aspect of a whole load of 14 year olds at this event - I wouldn't want that responsibility! We took a group of teenagers to a trampolining party for my ds's birthday (travel, activity and food all covered by us! smile) and we had to have a ratio of one adult to so many kids (can't remember now what the ratio was). We ended up paying my two nieces petrol money and for helping out. So I am not sure that this 'event' is even technically legal.

Bunnyfuller Sun 11-Aug-19 22:12:15

Since when was £100 ‘chipping in’ to a family you barely know?! Are you the school mum, @Bcrossbb ?!

Bcrossbb Sun 11-Aug-19 15:06:34

What’s the big deal. If you wanna, chip in. If ya don’t wanna go, don’t, just stop your silly belly aching for gods sake

BrunetteBuns Sun 11-Aug-19 12:34:09

Just to warn OP that that this thread has made it to the Daily Mail Australia.

Decormad38 Sun 11-Aug-19 05:05:32

That's why when you can't afford it you do not book a karting party for the whole class. She's off her rocker. Tell her that's not how it works. She clearly has no idea!

Jamiefraserskilt Sun 11-Aug-19 04:10:14

I can't get over the request for Amazon vouchers for his non birthday....
Sacrificing my arse. They should be able to afford a nice holiday on the profit.

Dragonsmother Sat 10-Aug-19 18:34:05

Ok, she is totally taking the p*ss and taking you for a ride (pardon the pun)

I just did the sums-
£50 go karting x 30 kids = £1500
£20 minibus x 30 kids = £600

Go karting is around £30 a head.
Could she not ask some of the parents to drive?

This sounds more like she has organised a day trip for the kids for without asking any of you. I feel quiet sad as she has manipulated the kids by Inviting them to a party and asking them to pay.

She is being totally unreasonable. If the cost wasn’t mentioned from the outset- with the invitation then she shouldn’t be asking for it.

Maybe see what your DS thinks and what he wants to do.

Surfingtheweb Sat 10-Aug-19 17:36:07

At 14 I'd be telling my child exactly how it is & that we don't critique that type of thing but also don't partake. I've been a mum for 20+ years and never heard anything like it, so no shame on you, this is very bad form!!

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