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Page 20 | 6 yr old DD still has a dummy(476 Posts)
More of a WWYD I suppose. Name change for this as I'm v.embarrassed. I must concede that my 6 year old DD still has a dummy at bedtime. I know what you must be thinking, but she is only allowed it strictly to go to sleep, it helps her wind down right before bed. She is very aware that she is far too old for it, and would be mortified if anyone found out about it, (only me, DH, her brother, and her grandparents know that she still has one.) We have tried many times to get her to give it up but it's always a massive struggle, we've had visits for the dummy fairy, and santa to take them away, we've read books about giving it up, and once we even 'forgot' it when we came back from holiday. But everytime she just gets so upset.
We saw on the one show the other night, this woman that helps children give up the dummy in five days. We watched it together and she saw children, much younger than her, give up there dummies with very little fuss. We discussed this with her, and she said that she wanted to go to bed without a dummy, starting on Sunday, (last night.) She was very excited for this, until she got into bed. She then started to sob, saying she missed her dummy, begging us to let her have it. She eventually fell asleep after 3 hours of crying, I even heard her in the night, softly sobbing. It was heartbreaking. This morning I told her how well she had done, but she just asked if she could have a dummy tonight.
DH and I are conflicted, on one hand she's way too old for it, on the other, what's the harm? It hasn't effected her teeth, as the dentist has assured me, and her speech is fantastic. One second she wants to be a big girl and give it up, which we are here to help and support her for, the next minute she just wants her dummy.
I feel so evil for not letting her have it, should I just give her the dummy?
Please don't feel like a bad parent, you have done what you think is the best thing for you daughter and noone can question your good intentions to only provide her with comfort in a way you know she responds too.
I do think that continuing would be the best option. Acknowledge her big feelings and support her to develop strategies to cope with them, the issue is far greater than just binning the dummy - as you say she has alot of emotion attached to it. But my thoughts are that taking it away then giving it back a few times is confusing for her and may be adding to those big feelings. She needs to be guided by someone she trusts through this experience and will reap the benefits in knowing that she's made it through something difficult and all the positive things that go with it. Good luck x
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