Name changed for this:
8 years ago, I was a 20 year old girl and was going through a rough patch with my partner we had been together for 4 years and engaged for 1. He was 27 and was looking to settle down but I was rebelling, going out a lot, drinking etc but had never cheated.
One night I was at a house party of a work colleague let’s call him Alan he was a 39 year old man, everyone who I worked with was there and we were all having a great time. There were 4 of us left at the end of the night drinking and dancing, my best friend at the time and her partner who both worked with me and Alan. They went off to bed and it was just me and him, we had a great relationship, had brilliant banter and I wasn’t afraid or uncomfortable being alone with him. The next thing I knew I was barely conscious I was like drunk asleep and I was aware he was having sex with me, I was too drunk to do anything but I know it was real. The next morning it wasn’t mentioned, he was acting normal, I acted normal and everyone was laughing and chatting about what a great night we had had. I blanked it out.
The next thing was me and my partner called our engagement off we wanted different things I felt I was too young to settle down and I wanted to be young free and single. Alan was very supportive at work along with everyone else when I was going through my break up. He started calling down to my house to see how I was as I was living alone. We started having sex and did so on and off for about 2 years. I always put what happened to the back of my mind. At the same time I was having a lot of casual sex, one night stands i felt I was making up for lost time as I was tied down before.
I am now with the love of my life, we have known each other for about 7 years, been in a relationship for about 4 years now. We are currently TTC our first child. He knew about my wild times as he was pretty much my friend throughout this time, he knew about my casual sex with Alan. I have recently acknowledged and accepted that what happened to me at that house party that night was rape, but yet I had sex with this man a lot after that. I want to tel DP about that happened but I don’t know how. I’m worried he will think I’m an idiot for not realising this at the time and being angry with me for putting myself in that position. Any advice? If you got through my story thank you for reading.
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*trigger warning* How to tell DP
64 replies
Changedmyname22 · 20/07/2019 22:05
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BigRedLondonBus ·
20/07/2019 23:16
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BigRedLondonBus ·
20/07/2019 23:46
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