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AIBU to contact Social services about a neighbour

(144 Posts)
Yetanothernamechange1234 Sat 20-Jul-19 19:09:37

Long and short of it is her 4 kids came over to mine today...said their mum was asleep and they couldn't wake her...they climbed out the back window to get out the house as couldn't find the keys. Mum also had a 1 year old in there also asleep the kids thought. They asked to have dinner with us in case they couldn't wake their mum later. When I took them home it took a good half hour of banging on the door to rouse the mum,she had no idea the kids weren't in the house. Would I be totally inappropriate to contact SS and if I did would they tell her who it was?

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult Sat 20-Jul-19 19:11:39

You should have contacted the police after banging on the door for 5 minutes really.

Of course you should contact SS.

makingmammaries Sat 20-Jul-19 19:13:13

I think you probably do need to contact them. They don’t need to say who told them. Your neighbour may guess, though. But it does sound as though the kids are at risk.

CloudRusting Sat 20-Jul-19 19:15:37

Yes you absolutely should contact SS. This is highly neglectful. If they could t wake her that would suggest drug use (prescription or otherwise) or alcohol but either way intervention is needed.

CuppaSarah Sat 20-Jul-19 19:15:38

You need to contact them, no question about it. Poor children. The fact they asked you to feed them incase she doesn't wake later says a lot imo.

Jojobears Sat 20-Jul-19 19:15:40


At the very least, the woman needs help

Yetanothernamechange1234 Sat 20-Jul-19 19:15:47

Thank you,I didn't think about police stupidly.i had my daughter with me and she was getting upset so I just kept trying to get them home. Told the kids they can come here anytime they need to,just feel bad and like I should've done more

Lovebeingmama Sat 20-Jul-19 19:16:13

Yes, contact them. It needs some investigation.

Elsahappy3 Sat 20-Jul-19 19:16:35

Yes you should , but was she drunk or something ? Because banging on a door for 30 mins or not being able to wake up someone is a bit concerning.

stucknoue Sat 20-Jul-19 19:16:44

Speak to her, say you are concerned, I can't hear people banging on my door. Kids do exaggerate, not being able to wake her is serious whereas her being really dopey and telling them to amuse themselves because the baby has been up all night isn't the same. But if anything doesn't add up call the out of hours social services number.

Soubriquet Sat 20-Jul-19 19:17:13

Does sound rather worrying

Especially if there is a 1 year old in the house who presumably can’t get out

I would have rung the police but obviously that’s not the option now so SS is the next best thing

If it happens again, police straight away

NoSauce Sat 20-Jul-19 19:19:01

Yes definitely, how old are the dc? Poor things having to climb out the window? Have you noticed other things that are worrying?

Yetanothernamechange1234 Sat 20-Jul-19 19:19:05

When she answered q(after yelling to kids out the door thinking they were upstairs because she didn't know where the keys were) she looked out of it, could just be because I just woke her up out of deep sleep but wasnt normal. I'm so worried the children tonight,they did ask if they could sleep here if they needed to.

Camomila Sat 20-Jul-19 19:19:49

Did she wake up eventually?

In that situation I'd have probably called an ambulance or police to come do a welfare check straight away in case she's had an epileptic fit/stroke etc.

TheHandsOfNeilBuchanan Sat 20-Jul-19 19:20:48

Honestly op this sounds like class a drug use, definitely call social care

Didntwanttochangemyname Sat 20-Jul-19 19:20:51

Those poor kids, please call SS and if it happens again call the police.

FaithFrank Sat 20-Jul-19 19:20:51


ethelfleda Sat 20-Jul-19 19:23:54

Definitely call SS.

cccameron Sat 20-Jul-19 19:24:32

Why didn't you call the police immediately?How did you know she hadn't had a heart attack or stroke. She could have been dead with the 1 year old in there!

Mumtolittletorchers Sat 20-Jul-19 19:28:04

Is her kids quite young could it be that she was just exhausted and went for a nap. I understand the dangers of what happened. Instead of ringing ss straight away why don't you be neighbourly and invite her down for a cup of tea and tell her your concerns. Have you ever been inside her house because you would know if something serious was going on by the cleanliness and mess of the place.

MissChananderlerbong Sat 20-Jul-19 19:34:17

Social services! This happened to my nieces and the police removed them that day (I had no idea how bad my brothers ex had got and that they were in that situation!)

SparklyMagpie Sat 20-Jul-19 19:38:09

I wouldn't hesitate to contact SS at all

But tbh that situation is frightening, she could have had an accident or anything

How old are the kids? One of them obviously is old enough to be able to open and climb out of the window? Just wondering as that's worrying in itself if they arent that old

Jellybeansincognito Sat 20-Jul-19 19:38:54

I think it was really silly to not call the police, or an ambulance in fact. If kids can’t wake their own mother something is very very wrong.

I wouldn’t call social services tbh, I think it looks really bad on your part because children came to your house through a window because they couldn’t wake their mum and the health and well-being of that mother passed you by whilst you had them at yours and spent 30 minutes banging the door down.

Also, what proof do you have?
If it ever happens again do the right thing.

Wildorchidz Sat 20-Jul-19 19:40:24

How old are the children?

CanYouHelpFindThis Sat 20-Jul-19 19:40:25

Ring 101 and log the incident

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