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To dislike this person? Or am I just a jealous old fuddy duddy?

(55 Posts)
Rescuedog12 Fri 19-Jul-19 16:59:27

My hours were reduced at work so I needed a little something,and found someone to clean for 2 years ago.It was 5 hours,but the family members grew( blended family) plus a couple of new bathrooms and lots of ironing.it became more than I needed or wanted.with permission I got my friend in to help.All went well for 9 months till my friend wanted to leave as she'd started her own business and it was taking off.i asked on a Facebook group and didn't get much interest.one person let me down ,one turned up.i told her it was my job and she would be helping me.from day one ,if I ask her to do something shell argue about it,or just not do something the way I've shown her.she lies all the time.i ask her if she's used a product ,she'll say yes,when I point out she hasn't she says she was going to do it later.so many times she's done this.its not to my standard.i asked the clients if they were happy with her work.they said yes.( I'm not)she sent me a Facebook friend request .I reluctantly accepted.looked at her profile.its full or scantily clad pictures of herself.( She's A 40 year old mother of 2)nothing rude,but very booby,and very cutaway swimsuits that leave little to the imagination.her legs are completely covered in tattoos,and a lot of her body ,and she's planning more.she has a nose stud.big false lashes and talons.i mean these false nails curl over ,they are so long.i don't know how she can clean with them.in the eighties I used to have a stall at Camden market in the punk era.im used to fashion extremes,but I don't think you should flaunt it at work.this week she turned up in really short shorts.she has a bubbly personality and says she enjoys cleaning.this week she was chatting to one of the teenagers at the house as she was helping herself to milk from the fridge for her coffee(I just take my own drink),and it turns out they've friended each other,then was asking the teen if she could do her a spray tan as she's going away today.she runs a little business selling gifts and has already sold some to the family.today she put a post on Facebook announcing she's being whisked away on a surprise holiday,that she knew nothing about,and wondered why her mum had come over,yet she'd already told me weeks ago about this holiday and that her mum was coming to look after the kids.im a very private person and all this is the total opposite to me.shes younger than me with a great figure,but I really don't think she should dress like that in someone's home.yesterday outside the house we watched as someone reversed into my car,although she was a witness,she just got in her car and left.i was quite upset,and if that was me I would have stayed for support. feel like walking away from it and leaving her to it,but I need the money.sorry it's so long..aibu?

Hidingwhoiam Fri 19-Jul-19 17:03:17

You dont like her. She works for you. It's your job so just tell her you no longer need help

You clearly dont like her and she doesnt sound like she is acting appropriately.

Surely it's up to you who works for you?

3luckystars Fri 19-Jul-19 17:05:52

Just tell her you don't need her help any more.
Get someone else to help you.

Don't leave your job, just say you got someone else to cover for her on holidays and they are staying.

It sounds a bit messy with the employer though, are they employing you both?

hazell42 Fri 19-Jul-19 17:10:51

You dont like the way she dresses
You dont like her tattoos
You dont like the things she puts on Facebook.
You dont like her over familiarity with the family
You dont think she is truthful
Face it, you dont like her.
But how is her cleaning?

herculepoirot2 Fri 19-Jul-19 17:12:11

You are judging her for the way she dresses. YABU.

Candyfloff Fri 19-Jul-19 17:18:07

How she looks and acts has nothing to do with how she cleans.
You say she doesn't do things to your standard 1 but are they clean?
You don't like her, so sack her.

Candyfloff Fri 19-Jul-19 17:18:28

A random 1 has sneaked in there...

dustarr73 Fri 19-Jul-19 17:26:14

You sound very snobby.Let her go.You dont like her.Get someone else in.

Sianlouise432 Fri 19-Jul-19 17:43:15

YABU to so heavily judge someone. Despite her "downfalls" it sounds like she is very personable. Might wanna act quickly before they hire her instead?

newmomof1 Fri 19-Jul-19 17:47:10

You're unreasonable to dislike her because of her appearance/social media usage but it's perfectly reasonable to bin her off for being unprofessional

thetimekeeper Fri 19-Jul-19 17:48:29

What has her Facebook profile got to do with anything?

Pinktinker Fri 19-Jul-19 17:50:52

You’re not happy with the work she does and you don’t get along with her so just find someone else.

Goodnightjude1 Fri 19-Jul-19 17:51:39

I have tattoos and false eyelashes and even false nails....

I can still clean!

You don’t like her. It has nothing to do with her cleaning ability.

Hyrana Fri 19-Jul-19 17:53:05

I tried to read it all and like you, but you seem to not like her. Let her go and have a good life.

Ifancythor Fri 19-Jul-19 17:54:27

Wow you’re a judgemental fuddy duddy!

Scaryinternet Fri 19-Jul-19 17:54:58

Yes but can she use paragraphs?

Rescuedog12 Fri 19-Jul-19 18:01:49

Well it was,but now she's got her feet under the table,and has their phone number because she asked for it,I feel surplas to requirements.

HeartShapedBox Fri 19-Jul-19 18:02:21

You sound quite unpleasant about this woman. Ok, so she doesn't clean to your standard, and lies about doing things you've asked, that's a valid point regarding her job. The tattoos, the way she dresses etc are nothing to do with you and don't impact her ability to do her job, so yabu with that.

Rescuedog12 Fri 19-Jul-19 18:03:39

In normal life I don't judge anyone on how they dress,but for work I do.

CaMePlaitPas Fri 19-Jul-19 18:04:54

But what has she actually done to you?

Sounds like you're jealous of her tbh.

Rescuedog12 Fri 19-Jul-19 18:07:21

I doubt it,as she's probably even less aducated than me who left school at 15.

Ifancythor Fri 19-Jul-19 18:09:21

Wow @Rescuedog12 you are worse than originally thought.

SoyDora Fri 19-Jul-19 18:10:29

I’m not sure if you sound like a jealous fuddy duddy, but you do sound quite unpleasant.
I’m sure many many people with long false nails manage to keep their houses clean.
Anyway, if you’re not happy with her work then find someone else.

overnightangel Fri 19-Jul-19 18:15:01

“But what has she actually done to you?”

-Lied about her work (not using a particular product and then claiming she did) amongst other things
-Driving off despite being witness to a car accident involving the OP
-Argues with OP who is effectively her boss

SoyDora Fri 19-Jul-19 18:16:22

Although in answer to your question, no you’re not unreasonable to dislike her. You are entitled to hold whatever opinion you want on someone. She probably doesn’t like you either.

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