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AIBU?

I'm bored of all my mum friends

77 replies

RainbowGlitter · 18/07/2019 14:30

I've got my judgy pants pulled right up high at the moment.
I'm bored of their petty squabbles, their one-upmanship and the unrelenting dullness of their Fatface clothing.
I like their children, most of the time, and I need the reassurance that all our kids are heading in the right direction when I have a wobble.

So should i drop the friendships that are really just due to having kids at the same time.

OP posts:

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BitOftheSea · 18/07/2019 14:32

They should certainly drop you. Just tell them how you feel and then you won’t need to make any decisions.

VivienneHolt · 18/07/2019 14:32

You should drop the friends, but more for their sake than yours 😬

Camomila · 18/07/2019 14:35

Are you ok?
Often I find when I'm annoyed at everyone it's because there's something upsetting me about my own life, rather than my friends all suddenly becoming annoying.

user87382294757 · 18/07/2019 14:39

I find the same and coming up to end of primary for my second and can't wait. I have nothing against them but find the mum chat getting quite boring after years of it. I don't like the comparison either. I know I am probably a grumpy mean old bag but there we go.

user87382294757 · 18/07/2019 14:40

I also quite like the children and find it easier just having them round rather than meeting up with mums and DC. That seems to happen anyway as they get older.

TheCatInAHat · 18/07/2019 14:41

So you want them to pat you on the back and tell you you’re doing a great job when you’re feeling insecure, but you think they’re dull, petty and badly dressed the rest of the time? How do I sign up to be your friend? Sounds great fun.

RainbowGlitter · 18/07/2019 14:42

I think it's the end of a long school year. Exam revision, exams, exam results...competion in the out of school stuff.
I just need a break from being made to feel I should be worrying about it all.

OP posts:

Jeremybearimybaby · 18/07/2019 14:45

Ahhhhhh, so it's not mum friends, it's Mum frenemies? I'm not competitive with my friends, and I refuse to get into the bullshit of competitive parenting as much as my SIL tries to draw me in so no, yanbu, if it's all competitive nonsense, instead of actual friendship.
To echo pp, when I've 'had it' with people, it's usually because I'm not in a good place.

Haworthia · 18/07/2019 14:45

Just step back from it all (and the inevitable WhatsApp groups). You have nothing in common apart from children and that’s OK. It can be exhausting too, for all the reasons you mentioned.

I didn’t last long and took a step back during Year 1. The cliques, the vying for popularity, the ass kissing of the queen bees... hoo boy.

urbanlife · 18/07/2019 14:49

Yup you need a serious break from your 'friends' maybe a permanent one. If it is all so crap why not distance yourself a little?

Shame there seems to be no actual affection or real friendship at least on your part, it is just theatrics for the dc. So really you are just using these women to fill time and space, and keep your kids happy all the while judging them (very harshly). Nice.
You sound like a lovely person

urbanlife · 18/07/2019 14:50

You dont HAVE to get involved with the competition, it is your choice to be part of it and give it even more energy. Just say no, its not for us.

Ivegotthree · 18/07/2019 14:51

Get a job if you don't already have one.

Provides excellent perspective

Haworthia · 18/07/2019 14:55

I love the way “get a job” is the answer to everything on MN.

Difficult, high needs baby? Get a job.
Irritated by “mum friends”? Get a job.
Persistent rash on left arm? Get a job.

TheGrump · 18/07/2019 14:55

Yeah, I know what you mean. The chat revolves around the kids and school and inevitably gets a bit yawn. To be honest, they are probably just as bored with me as I no longer contribute to group discussions about reading ages and the teacher's shortcomings etc. I suspect I look a bit vacant. My eyes are like glazed doughnuts, no doubt.

There is a family on our street that home school and I envy their freedom from the social shackles of school.

MatildaTheCat · 18/07/2019 14:59

Mix it up. It’s all a bit repetitive and intense if you see too much of one another and the children are your only or main topic of conversation.

Do you have other friends? Or get a new hobby and other outside interests. Even just suggest an evening when nobody is allowed to mention school, kids or mundane crap. Go to films, read books and have something else to talk about.

EssentialHummus · 18/07/2019 15:03

Make other friends, wear different clothes, go to new places... it sounds like this is about you rather than them tbh.

Gatepost1820 · 18/07/2019 15:04

I got a job and it's been brilliant to manage these intense friendships. I'm around for the odd coffee but other than that I'm up to my eyeballs with work, elderly parent & my family. My life is too busy to be involved with all the school girl playground shit.

SayItLoud1 · 18/07/2019 15:05

Just leave the group, I did and it’s the best thing I did.
They were all slagging each other off behind one another’s backs but sickly sweet to each other’s faces. Flaky and fake.
I am so relieved I am out of it and my life improved tenfold.

RainbowGlitter · 18/07/2019 15:06

It was a What's App thread that drove me to post this.

20 messages on why they are not happy with the way classes are organised next year. I'm not afraid to complain given a damm good reason but I figure it's the Head teacher's job to weigh everything up and we've not even finished this year yet.

OP posts:

RainbowGlitter · 18/07/2019 15:10

I'm lucky, I have a niche job that I adore and lots of friends from that. I've been doing the 'mum' stuff because it felt important for the kids socially and sometimes it's good to be in the loop as the kids hit a new stage - but I am finding it draining at the moment

OP posts:

Namechangesareus · 18/07/2019 15:11

If they are at the age of exams do you really need to be so involved with the parents. Usually the older the dc get the less involvement the parents have with other parents.
Just leave the group.

TellItLikeItReallyIs · 18/07/2019 15:11

Bored with
Bored with
Bored with
Bored with grammar police

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urbanlife · 18/07/2019 15:11

I am not on SM etc for this exact reason. I could not stand it. It would drive me insane. I don't have the time or energy for this stuff, and never have.
So tell them you are having a digital detox for the summer, and drop out. No, you won't be missing anything but this mindless stuff, and I am sure you will feel greatly liberated.

Newgirls · 18/07/2019 15:12

Prob end of term-itis - just take a break from it all

merrygoround51 · 18/07/2019 15:13

Perhaps rather than dropping these friends you need a wider range of friends?
Perhaps take up a hobby

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