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Taking DD out of school twice

(74 Posts)
Pippa12 Thu 18-Jul-19 12:49:40

We took our DD out of school for 4 days for a family holiday in April. When I say it poured down, I mean the weather was awful, it was a washout. Never got in the pool, and once my fake tan had washed off I looked paler than I went!!!

We have been invited to a wedding abroad at the end of September. My initial response was no, couldn’t take our DD out of school. But I’d love to watch this couple get married, I’d love my DD to enjoy the pool/entertainment in the sunshine and not the freak weather experienced for our main holiday!!!

We didn’t get fined in April due to short length of time (4 days) and otherwise had 100% attendance. She will of started a new class year but technically I’ve took her out twice in 6 months if we go... I am expecting the fine but is the punishment likely to be more harsh due to being a repeat offender within 12 months??? FWIW I wasn’t lucky enough to get any annual leave in the 6 weeks holidays this year hence the April trip.

Rosejasmine Thu 18-Jul-19 13:15:00

I thought the timing rules applied to each school year, ie can't be rolled over into the next school year? I may be wrong tho. Wether yabu or not IMO it depends on the age of the child, if you're coming up to SATS or GCSEs then I don't think you should do it. Years 1-4 and 7-9, it's not so bad.

FishCanFly Thu 18-Jul-19 13:26:44

go for it. Make up a reason that is good enough to be exceptional

Fink Thu 18-Jul-19 13:31:38

I would go for a family member, but not a friend. If it was a very close friend and my child was close to him/her (e.g. a godparent), I would go for a long weekend (assuming the wedding is on a weekend) and miss one-two days of school, no longer. Why do you have to go for a whole week? Unless it's a long haul flight, 4 days should be sufficient to attend the wedding and not miss too much school.

I don't know what the legal case is as regards fines etc. so not commenting on that.

CatteStreet Thu 18-Jul-19 13:32:30

Hm. if it weren't for you struggling to get leave in the summer holidays, I would have said YABVU, tbh, but I think that swings it back to YANBU. Considering many people have a two-week summer holiday, a week (or not quite) in April and a week in September kind of equates to that.

The weather on your April holiday is irrelevant, IMO. I'd also leave it out of any reasoning you present to the school. Oh, and don't lie or ask your dd to.

NeckPainChairSearch Thu 18-Jul-19 13:33:41

Do it but tell the truth.

Lying about it would be stupid, obviously.

FishCanFly Thu 18-Jul-19 13:37:17

Lying about it would be stupid, obviously.
stupid rule in first place. You shouldn't need to go cap in hand and ask permission to go to a family wedding.

MyDcAreMarvel Thu 18-Jul-19 13:37:18

Your April holiday is irrelevant as it an old school year.
If you don’t want to get fined take her in Monday and out again at 9.15 once she has her mark. That will be 9 sessions missed. The majority of LEA’s fine for 10 plus.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack Thu 18-Jul-19 13:37:46

She's 7, she isn't going to miss anything major but don't lie, just say it's for a wedding. I don't get why people get so het up about this, I never took my son out of school during secondary but for primary it doesn't hurt once in a while. Family time will be lovely, she has years of schooling ahead of her so go for it and just enjoy.

Booboo66 Thu 18-Jul-19 13:40:15

Yes I'd do it, she's 7 it's not going to impact her long term and it's a once off to do it this frequently I'm sure. Start of term isn't ideal but again at this age I'm sure friendship groups are well established as is her knowledge of school. You may well get a fine but there won't be any more harsh punishment. I think you'll regret it if you don't go too, especially when the pictures start appearing while you are on cold wet and windy school run.

MammaMia19 Thu 18-Jul-19 13:40:25

September is a new school year so attendance will start a fresh and the last absence won’t be taken into account.
Check your councils website but my council fines £60 per parents so just factor £120 fine into your budget.
The only problem you might have is that her attendance will look really low due to the averages. We took dd6 out for 2 weeks holiday and her attendance went down to 64% because it was in October. We got a strongly worded letter and a fine which I expected. She hasn’t had anymore time off so it’s gone back up to normal % now

Pippa12 Thu 18-Jul-19 13:40:30

grin I will definitely leave out my awful April experience in my request (if we go that is, I’m still on the fence!) I appreciate this is miles out of anybody’s control. My managers had said she would write supporting letters with regards to lack of AL in school holidays. FWIW it is my turn to have 2 consecutive weeks next August (2020) so I don’t need to worry next year!

It’s not long haul but if I’m going for 4 days I might aswel go for 7... in for a penny and all that. Not to mention it’s pretty much same price, on some sites more!!!

I definitely wouldn’t lie, i just couldn’t do it and my DD can’t hold her own waters!

NeckPainChairSearch Thu 18-Jul-19 13:43:44

stupid rule in first place. You shouldn't need to go cap in hand and ask permission to go to a family wedding

Agreed. But that doesn't make lying about it any less stupid.

Glad you're doing the right thing OP. Hope you get the leave, but if not, enjoy the wedding grin

Cantmakeupmymind1 Thu 18-Jul-19 13:44:53

I would do it.

I think we've lost all perspective in the UK. A child with an excellent attendance record is not going to suffer academically or fall behind if he/she has a few days off. If you did this every few months or so it would be unreasonable but otherwise I really can't see the problem. And I also don't believe it will cause huge disruption to the rest of the class or teacher.

I';m so cynical of our education system in the UK now. We start children at 4, earlier than so many countries, many children aren't emotionally, socially or academically ready for the classroom environment. We push push push push with test after test. We fine parents for daring to want a family time during term time, how can you blame parents? Look at the price hike during the holidays! Many parents simply have no other option!

Pippa12 Thu 18-Jul-19 13:47:57

Thanks so much for everybody’s balance opinion. Lovely having a calm chat without it turning into a free for all grin my husband is so desperate to get away after a demanding year at work I was worried his eagerness was clouding his judgement! Thanks again to you all xxx

Sunshineface123 Thu 18-Jul-19 13:50:59

I'm a teacher and I'd say do it! You only live once, she can catch up when you get back. You could ask the teacher what she'll be missing and do some bits with her if you wanted. She's at an age where she'll remember a lovely occasion like that, go for it.

WomanLikeMeLM Thu 18-Jul-19 13:51:01

You only live once, take her and just phone her in sick, that awful D&V bug eh?!smile

forkfun Thu 18-Jul-19 13:52:05

I'm I the only one who just lies? My kids' grandparents and aunt live in another EU country. If we stuck to school holidays only, my kids would only get to see them once a year, due to cost and the fact that my mother can't travel anymore. As it is, we go about 2-3 times a year, and afford it by flying out a couple of days before half-term or summer hols start.

My kids miss around 4-6 days in total of school each year, always just before a break where they tend to do very little anyway. I have never once applied for leave (as I know we wouldn't get it - our school is super strict), but not once has anyone queried why both my children are mysteriously ill on the same days before holidays. I suspect the school knows and doesn't particularly care. They don't have to act on anything, and given that the kids' overall attendance is fine and they both do ok at school, I just don't see the issue.

I obviously won't be doing this when exams come up, but for now, it means they have a great relationship with my side of the family and are completely bilingual. Not sure that would be the case if we could only go once a year.

LondonJax Thu 18-Jul-19 13:52:42

Whatever you do make sure you tell the truth. Using one PP's idea of conjunctivitis or some such illness is going to mean you'll have to keep the kids indoors in case they get a sudden deep tan.

RomaineCalm Thu 18-Jul-19 13:54:44

I'll be the one that says that I wouldn't do it. IME September is a busy month at school, I assume your DD is moving into KS2 and it's likely that she will miss key work at the start of a school year that she will need to catch up with. Who are you expecting to spend time with DD when she comes back helping her to go over the work that she's missed?

I appreciate that she's only 7 and I'm certainly not in the camp of 'taking a week off in reception leads to poor GCSE level outcomes' but it seems that taking DC out of school once for a holiday makes it easier to justify for a second time, and then a third...

You also can't predict the rest of the school year. 5 days in September may not make much difference to the attendance % by the end of the Summer term but there's no way of knowing whether she will have time off for illness later in the school year and what the cumulative effect might be.

If this is genuinely about not missing the wedding of a good friend go for 4 days and just miss 2 days of school.

menopause59 Thu 18-Jul-19 13:54:59

It's two different school years so it wont be an issue, mine started 2 days late in Sept as we were on holiday i rung in sick for them.
Saved about £1500 on the price so it was well worth it

ChihuahuaMummy1 Thu 18-Jul-19 13:57:37

I put "wedding" when we went on holiday for a week in may,still got fined and ds is only Reception age

mummymeister Thu 18-Jul-19 14:04:21

When mine were younger we took them out of school every year. it was in discussion with teachers as to when the best time was and we always took work and didnt expect the teachers to make any extra or special effort. half of mine are now at Uni/college and the other half still at senior school. Last year we took a week in mid November because that was when the schools said it was best from their point of view. I pay the fine because I dont have any other choice as to when to take leave. And yes we do it every year and we will keep on doing it every year until either the kids dont want to come or they leave school and go onto uni/college/work. Its the inflexibility that I cant stand with one size fits all rules and it takes away the heads discretion. Our head teachers know us as a family and our children better than anyone else and think they should be the one making the call, not the government.

Macaroni46 Thu 18-Jul-19 14:07:15

Why do people think it's ok for kids to miss primary education and not secondary? All stages of education are important.
And for what it's worth, no I don't think it's ok to take her out for a second holiday

WildAngel Thu 18-Jul-19 14:08:36

School attendance goes from Sept so the last episode won't count anyway. take her - whats she missing at 7?? My DS is going into Y11 and missing his first week of Sept, (bring on the hate!!) with a very stressful work situation through the summer holiday as a family we are going to need the break!

Booboo66 Thu 18-Jul-19 14:14:58

@Macaroni46 because the long term impact of missing something crucial for a GCSE exam is worse than the long term impact of missing a bit of a topic about Australia and some reading practice and gym. Yes it's important at all stages but the first week is more settling in. LOL at the teacher upthread who bottled it and rang in sick for dc 😆

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