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To be mortified and not able to look my neighbours in the eye now

(94 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

TheWindowIsOpen Wed 17-Jul-19 08:51:59

So last night DH and I were... Y'know.

We got pretty far into it when I realised the bedroom window was wide open.

I am horrified. We live on a quiet street so no traffic noise to drown it out and I can often hear neighbours conversations etc... if their windows are open.

I wasn't screaming like a pornstar or anything but I was definitely enjoying myself blush and there were some unmistakable 'moans' blush

In the heat everyone has been leaving their windows open and I can't believe I forgot. I'm usually a shy person but enjoy a chat with my neighbours when I see them so I now feel utterly embarrassed.

I don't even know what my AIBU is. Hoping someone might have an even more embarrassing story to share perhaps?

MyOpinionIsValid Wed 17-Jul-19 08:54:38

I don't even know what my AIBU is. Hoping someone might have an even more embarrassing story to share perhaps?

For your titilation? nah.

NomDeQwerty Wed 17-Jul-19 08:55:35

How embarrassing for you. I have loads of stories like that but I wouldn't post on here because this kind of thread is very likely to end up on a 'news'paper's website.

Bezalelle Wed 17-Jul-19 08:55:42

Och, don't worry about it. It's just sex!

MegaMonsterMunch Wed 17-Jul-19 08:55:51

You never know, they may have been at it too. I wouldn't worry. I am absolutely wondering how you're managing to have sex in this heat, though. You're a machine grin

SwishSwishSheesh Wed 17-Jul-19 08:56:24

Ahh that made me laugh grin don't sweat it OP!

Basilneedswaterandsun Wed 17-Jul-19 08:57:10

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult Wed 17-Jul-19 08:57:37

Just ask your neighbour if they heard the couple going at it the other night? Pretend it was someone else.

TheVanguardSix Wed 17-Jul-19 09:00:40

Sex. It’s part of living. Don’t even sweat it, OP.

NoBaggyPants Wed 17-Jul-19 09:00:43

I expect your neighbours already know that you have sex. And couldn't care one bit.

TheWindowIsOpen Wed 17-Jul-19 09:03:30

I am absolutely wondering how you're managing to have sex in this heat, though. You're a machine

It was pretty tough going but we managed grin kind of killed the mood though when I jumped up shouting 'THE WINDOW IS OPEN'!

I've been here a while but have, for obvious reasons, name changed for this. If my neighbours are on here I apologise...

Just ask your neighbour if they heard the couple going at it the other night? Pretend it was someone else

I like this idea although the thought of discussing sex at all with them makes me blush!

Fivebyfivesq Wed 17-Jul-19 09:04:09

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TheWindowIsOpen Wed 17-Jul-19 09:05:47

I expect your neighbours already know that you have sex

I expect they do but I don't really want someone to hear it!

Maybe I just embarrass easily but the thought of them hearing it and likely laughing to themselves is making me internally cringe.

TheWindowIsOpen Wed 17-Jul-19 09:07:03

Fivebyfivesq

MNHQ are you able to confirm that I am not in fact a journalist and/or troll please?

I've been here for quite some time and posted about various different things!

CardsforKittens Wed 17-Jul-19 09:08:56

I’ve heard neighbours having sex. I didn’t really think anything of it: they’re adults in a relationship so it’s not exactly unusual.

I’d rather hear sex than loud arguments - my previous neighbours had lots of those.

recrudescence Wed 17-Jul-19 09:13:54

The next time you talk to your neighbour mention the severe episode of gastrointestinal discomfort you suffered recently. This will account for the moaning. To add credence to your story, pretend to need the lavatory urgently and rush back inside. If you want to seal the deal, actually soil yourself.

MikeUniformMike Wed 17-Jul-19 09:16:26

A married couple having sexual intercourse. At night!
How very dare they.

TheWindowIsOpen Wed 17-Jul-19 09:17:43

If you want to seal the deal, actually soil yourself

grin

WhenOneFacePalmDoesntCutIt Wed 17-Jul-19 09:17:53

next time put the tennis on

MikeUniformMike Wed 17-Jul-19 09:18:14

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

StreetwiseHercules Wed 17-Jul-19 09:18:18

Who cares?

AFlurry Wed 17-Jul-19 09:19:43

I don't get why people are acting like it isn't embarrassing?!

Ok so married people have sex obviously but yes I absolutely would be embarrassed at the thought of my neighbours listening to it!!

TheWindowIsOpen Wed 17-Jul-19 09:21:17

Feck off tabloid paper. You're not fit to line a litter tray

I'm not a fucking journalist. HTH

U2HasTheEdge Wed 17-Jul-19 09:23:57

Who cares?

I don't understand what the problem is really. Neighbour knows you had sex. Big deal.

TheWindowIsOpen Wed 17-Jul-19 09:26:49

As I said in my OP I'm a shy person, the thought makes me very uncomfortable knowing that other people may have heard it.

Quite clearly everyone else is fine with the street listening to their bedtime antics!

CustardCreamLover Wed 17-Jul-19 09:26:52

Is it really that hot in the UK? I moved abroad 3 years ago and my forecasts say 22-23 C?!

HairyFloppins Wed 17-Jul-19 09:27:19

If you are not in a detached house surely they can hear you anyway if you groan so much.

Nothing to be embarrassed about really.

Goodnightjude1 Wed 17-Jul-19 09:28:22

I have my windows wide open every night and due to the fact my OH is irresistible....I also have sex every night and most mornings. If the neighbours want to listen that’s up to them. I have to listen to their shitty country music all the time, so fair’s fair!

NoTheresa Wed 17-Jul-19 09:28:41

It’s embarrassing to mention this here. Good grief, what is the world coming to?

LLOE7 Wed 17-Jul-19 09:30:10

No big deal. Act like it never happened and check the window next to me!

LLOE7 Wed 17-Jul-19 09:30:34

Next time * I am definitely not next to your window

PegLegAntoine Wed 17-Jul-19 09:31:17

The next time you talk to your neighbour mention the severe episode of gastrointestinal discomfort you suffered recently. This will account for the moaning. To add credence to your story, pretend to need the lavatory urgently and rush back inside. If you want to seal the deal, actually soil yourself.

gringringrin

I would be far more embarrassed at someone hearing me in the throes of a stomach bug than in the throes of passion grin

AppleKatie Wed 17-Jul-19 09:32:17

How close are your neighbours? I’m sure they couldn’t hear you. It’s a window not a microphone. [confused{

Yellowweatherwarning Wed 17-Jul-19 09:32:26

Once staying in a big hotel, staggered back and had wild - loud sex for hours.
#boasts...
Woke up the next morning to see my scarf from the chilly night before had snagged on the door and our room door had been left open all night...
Skipped breakfast...
blush

AFlurry Wed 17-Jul-19 09:33:36

Wow, it's particularly catty here this morning!

B3ck89 Wed 17-Jul-19 09:34:46

Wow there’s some paranoid mumsnetters on here today hmm

If it makes you feel any better I forgot to put my nipple away before answering the door to the postman blush

B3ck89 Wed 17-Jul-19 09:35:35

Should have said I was breastfeeding 😂

MonstranceClock Wed 17-Jul-19 09:36:14

I've done this quite a few times. It happens!

MerryMarigold Wed 17-Jul-19 09:37:41

I once had wild sex with the milkman at the crack of dawn in the back garden under the table on the patio. It was only afterwards that I realised the neighbour's washing was hanging out, where it hadn't been before. She must have been out very early to hang it out before work. I was mortified as we all knew our milkman well when he came to collect monies on a Saturday, so perhaps she had recognised him.

(Only joking)

QueenOfTheCroneAge Wed 17-Jul-19 09:39:25

"If it makes you feel any better I forgot to put my nipple away before answering the door to the postman"

Change your username to naughtynippleflasher immediately! shockgrin

TheWindowIsOpen Wed 17-Jul-19 09:40:44

If it makes you feel any better I forgot to put my nipple away before answering the door to the postman

It does! That's much worse grin quite clearly IABU to even suggest that mine is possibly embarrassing!

colourlessgreenidea Wed 17-Jul-19 09:41:40

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TheWindowIsOpen Wed 17-Jul-19 09:42:11

I’ll bet you were hmm

Yawn.

WereOffToButtonMoon Wed 17-Jul-19 09:49:45

Pretty hostile here today! I'd be embarrassed at this too.

MikeUniformMike Wed 17-Jul-19 09:52:16

FWIW, I wasn't troll hunting. Nice of whoever it was to report me.
Waves at a tabloid journalist reading this thread who might be thinking of using it as free article material.

The thread seems to be a lighthearted one and the OP has every right to how she feels.

And for you humourless reporter, I am not really shocked at a married couple having sex in their bedroom at night, just giggling at OP's embarrassment.

OP they'll be listening every night now, Practice your best porn star screams from now on.

SomewhereInbetween1 Wed 17-Jul-19 09:54:43

Really depends on how often your neighbours have had to hear it for? Our old neighbours used to wake us up regularly at unholy hours of the night with sex noises that can only be described as actual yelling, not even sex moans but genuine shouting. It was like being forced to be a voyeur and we ended up moving because if it. As a one off I wouldn't worry too much, but remember to check your windows next time haha.

S1naidSucks Wed 17-Jul-19 09:55:30

kind of killed the mood though when I jumped up shouting 'THE WINDOW IS OPEN'!

If I was your neighbour and heard that last bit, I would have been roaring with laughter! 🤣 You’ll know that they’ve heard, if they start asking each other questions about windows, in front of you.

On the plus side, you’ve probably made at least one single, male neighbour very happy. 🍆 🤢

HopeMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 17-Jul-19 09:59:20

Hi there,
We're just popping on to say thanks to the people who reported their concerns and did not troll hunt on the thread. Of course you know that we can never vouch for people 100% but this OP has been with us a fair while now so we are inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Lipz Wed 17-Jul-19 10:00:11

One of my ndn who has now moved was always having sex with windows open etc one day when sitting in the garden with my then 3 year old, I could hear he was having sex in the kitchen, the woman was very vocal, ds kept stopping and looking their direction, then would continue playing, then stop and look etc eventually when they were finished, ds says out REALLY loud" I think mark got a pet cow, I can hear it" I do think they heard as the door was closed quickly and he moved soon after lol

Bowerbird5 Wed 17-Jul-19 10:01:10

I would be embarrassed as our house has no front garden straight onto footpath!

Love the story about the postman made me LOL 😂 loved the addition that you are a breast feeding mum 😆 LOL x2 and the milkman story😭
I would just avoid them for a couple of weeks OP!

Bowerbird5 Wed 17-Jul-19 10:04:11

🐮🐄 ha ha!

TheWindowIsOpen Wed 17-Jul-19 10:04:28

I would be embarrassed as our house has no front garden straight onto footpath

Ours doesn't either! It's just a row of houses straight from the footpath with all bedrooms at the front. I can quite often hear neighbours talking in their rooms if we both have our windows open so that's why I think they likely will have heard!

Thanks MN! I'm just a very shy MNetter who clearly embarrasses too easily!

TheWindowIsOpen Wed 17-Jul-19 10:05:44

I think mark got a pet cow, I can hear it

grin grin

ThatCurlyGirl Wed 17-Jul-19 10:19:37

My exes older sister walked in on us when I was on top. At lunchtime. On a school day.

Already a cringe situation but made worse as everyone involved just froze except for eyes darting around the people involved 😂

Nothing was said soon enough so she just really slowly closed the door but still facing us so I can still picture her face as disappearing but by bit as she shut it. Effectively she shut the door in her own face!

We were troopers and got back to it - we were 17 and had to get back to our schools in time for afternoon classes. Mission accomplished.

SerenDippitty Wed 17-Jul-19 10:27:30

I remember having sex on a warm summer Sunday morning with the windows open not realising that next door neighbour was outside washing his car. 😳 Not our neighbour any more thank goodness.

Flyinggeese Wed 17-Jul-19 10:30:11

Thing is OPs like this often end with 'so tell me your embarrassing stories to make me feel better'. Just why? How does that help?

I wet myself - tell me when this happened to you too. I had a period accident at work - so humiliating - tell me when this has happened to you. Etc etc.

Unfortunately when/if they are genuine this kind of request just makes the OP look like they're fishing for titilation.

Justaboy Wed 17-Jul-19 10:33:33

www.youtube.com/watch?v=06MBaAUxypg

Have you noticed, that people are still having sex?
All the denouncement, had absolutely no effect.
Parents and counselors, constantly scorn them.
But people are still having sex and nothing seems to stop them.
Do you realize that people are still having sex?
They've been told not to, perhaps they are perplexed.
When you see them holding hands, they're making future plans to engage in the activity.
Do you understand me?
People are still having sex.
Lust keeps on lurking.
Nothing makes them stop.
This aids things not working.
People are still having sex.
It's been going on for quite awhile.
Perhaps it's quite fashionable.
It hasn't gone out of style.
It's a fact that people are still having sex.
It's rather obvious, it's just what one expects.
The evidence is all around.
That everyone in every town has had it one time, or another in their life.
At this very moment people are still having sex.
In a downtown condo, or street in the projects.
Although you can't see them or hear their breathing sounds.
Someone in this world is having sex right now.
People are still having sex! (x4)
Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex!
Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex!
People are still having sex.
Lust keeps on lurking.
Nothing makes them stop.
This aids things not working.
People are still having sex.
It's been going on for quite awhile.
Perhaps it's quite fashionable.
It hasn't gone out of style.
People are still having sex (x4)
Sex

HeadintheiClouds Wed 17-Jul-19 10:34:09

Indeed, Flying. Never understand what anybody claiming to be mortified by something that happened in public gets out of further sharing the tale across the Internet.
Attention seeker extraordinaire.

Enclume Wed 17-Jul-19 10:39:18

Hoping someone might have an even more embarrassing story to share perhaps?

Yes...I was once asked to recite at a wedding from Book 4 of the Aeneid, in Virgil's original Latin, natch!

Only I must have had one port too many as I got mixed up and instead started spouting Book IV of the Iliad instead! Imagine! Instead of Dido's torrid romance with Aeneas, there I was recounting the conference of the gods on Mount Olympus discussing the Trojan War. Hideously inapt for a wedding!

Worse still... even though all the guests spoke Latin, only 2/3 were conversant in Homeric Greek, so it was a bit of a faux pas from that point of view, and the Mother of the Bride stormed out because she does not accept that Homer even existed (her doubts about the Bard had also led to a reading of Shakespeare's 116th Sonnet being scrapped).

I was sooooooooooooooooo mortified when I realised what I had done and stick to small beer now if I am likely to be called upon to give any kind of oration or recital in ANY dead language! blush

Flyinggeese Wed 17-Jul-19 10:43:42

Enclume there should be some kind of government scheme for when that kind of thing happens (easy done) whereby a new identity can be issued and all relocation costs covered.

(Absolutely brilliant).

Rachelover40 Wed 17-Jul-19 10:44:10

I doubt anyone could hear you moan, they'd have to be pretty close to do so. Stop worrying about it.

Lotuslots Wed 17-Jul-19 10:48:51

Get over it.

Flyinggeese Wed 17-Jul-19 10:49:05

The neighbours must hear me moan loudly all the time - like when the binmen put my green wheelie bin back on someone else's path and I need to go and find it. Or when yet again someone has left changing the loo roll to me.

ItsBloodyFreezingg Wed 17-Jul-19 10:52:57

Thing is OPs like this often end with 'so tell me your embarrassing stories to make me feel better'. Just why? How does that help?

Some of the funniest threads I've read on here have been because other people have joined in and shared similar embarrassing and funny stories about what happened to them. It's hardly a new prospect or that difficult to understand.

Never understand what anybody claiming to be mortified by something that happened in public gets out of further sharing the tale across the Internet. Attention seeker extraordinaire.

Get a sense of humour maybe? It's easier to share things over the internet and have a laugh at yourself because no one knows who you are.

There are plenty of threads like this on MN. I've seen threads about posters shit, farts and other bodily fluids before. People share all sorts of unnecessary things on here to make people laugh, as a joke, to be light-hearted about an embarrassing situation.

MonstranceClock Wed 17-Jul-19 10:53:02

@Rachellover40

I dont know, I heard my neighbour open a can of coke the other day! Pretty sure she'd hear me being boned.

EmeraldShamrock Wed 17-Jul-19 10:53:14

I wouldn't worry about it. Maybe tell them you stayed with family last night, it was DH alone really give them something to gossip about. grin

EmeraldShamrock Wed 17-Jul-19 10:57:02

Not a sex story. I was in work the weekend with a male colleague my stomach was full of wind, it was my time of the month.
He got his keys to go the garage, after he left I farted then again and again, they were awful, he forgot his wallet and came back for it mid smell. blush

CollaterlyS1sters Wed 17-Jul-19 10:59:13

@Enclume OMG that is absolutely mortifying! I'm cringing for you!

My worst one was probably when I called Derrida a structuralist at my hen night. I can still remember the colour draining from my bridesmaids' faces as it dawned on me what I'd said.

I had to call the wedding off, obvs. Still can barely cope with the memory.

ThatCurlyGirl Wed 17-Jul-19 11:04:45

@CollaterlyS1sters I like you 😂

katseyes7 Wed 17-Jul-19 11:09:38

l've heard my neighbour and her boyfriend having sex. He's noisier than her. Fortunately it doesn't last long.

katseyes7 Wed 17-Jul-19 11:11:05

My friend calls her neighbour Meg Ryan. As in the fake orgasm scene on When Harry Met Sally. She says it's so loud and 'put on' it can't possibly be real.

4cats2kids Wed 17-Jul-19 11:28:31

I used to live in a flat. One afternoon, on a hot summers day, I had a noisy three hour lesbian sex session with my girlfriend. When we had finished, we both smelt a strong odour of smoke. We then realised the window was open and the old man downstairs was smoking in his garden below.

The sex must have been so good even the neighbours needed a fag afterwards. This amuses me. I have no shame.

dustyparadeground Wed 17-Jul-19 11:29:52

Fuck off Daily Mail

CollaterlyS1sters Wed 17-Jul-19 11:32:09

Oh god you're right. They are going to LOVE @Enclume 's cringeworthy Iliad story.

DC3dilemma Wed 17-Jul-19 11:48:33

@TheVanguardSix

Sex. It’s part of living. Don’t even sweat it, OP.

I don’t know why, but I hear that in Flop’s voice:

Sex. It’s part of living. No big thing, Bing.

cakesandphotos Wed 17-Jul-19 11:50:18

@DC3dilemma 😂 sex. It's a Bing thing

Enclume Wed 17-Jul-19 11:52:31

@CollaterlyS1sters that sounds like a proper hara kiri moment. I can only hope that, following your gender reassignment surgery and relocation to Dagestan, you had the good sense not to ever, ever allude to Derrida again?

@Flyinggeese thank you for your support. I find your moaning stories exciting and have printed them out to read later.

Jeremybearimybaby Wed 17-Jul-19 12:13:51

Forgot my purse once in Tesco 🤷🏼‍♀️or did you want to hear all about my sex life OP? hmm

notjustanexpat Wed 17-Jul-19 12:14:26

Pretty sure our neighbours hear us with or without the windows open. We hear them occasionally. We cannot hear much when we are in our flat but the close....different story.

I am just glad everyone in the building gets laid, it makes for more relaxed neighbours.

ItsBloodyFreezingg Wed 17-Jul-19 12:18:09

or did you want to hear all about my sex life OP? hmm

Jesus the fun suckers are out in force this morning. It's quite clearly a light-hearted thread asking for other funny stories (of which there have been plenty on MN before).

Monsterdogs Wed 17-Jul-19 12:19:23

Hi OP. When i was a teenager my then bf dad came to speak to us in the morning and asked us not very tactfully to keep the noise down at night 😳
I survived the embarrassment of having to face the rest of the family at breakfast

Badtasteflump Wed 17-Jul-19 12:41:21

Chill out, it's just a bonk.

Nobody can prove it was coming from your house - and nobody will ever ask anyway!

ImpossibleGirl Wed 17-Jul-19 12:58:49

Made me think of this from Avenue Q:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPqOx-Smqrc

ohtheholidays Wed 17-Jul-19 13:19:20

Honestly if I heard one of my neighbours enjoying themselves and they're partner I'd just think fucking good for them in this heat!

I think if me and my DH had attempted that last night it would of been like a bloody slip and slide with all of the perspiration grin

ElliT Wed 17-Jul-19 13:25:17

I heard this happen on my street a few summers ago , I had no clue which house it was coming from so you may get away with it

SkydivingKittyCat Wed 17-Jul-19 13:25:39

Unless you were screaming DP's name or your address it could have been coming from any house, surely?

DogHasEatenTheSqueaker Wed 17-Jul-19 14:05:58

@ItsBloodyFreezingg

Fun suckers AND sun fuckers 😂

ItsBloodyFreezingg Wed 17-Jul-19 14:21:05

Fun suckers AND sun fuckers 😂

😂😂😂 Love it

Justaboy Wed 17-Jul-19 15:04:04

We used to live in a terraced house, paper thin walls and the couple next door, well she used to just giggle all the time they were at it which did go on for quite some time, bouts of the giggles, so much so that one night my then wife lost her rag banged on the wall and shouted in no uncertian terms;

"For fucks sake can't you just give her one and get it done with"!

Oddely enough it went quiet for some time afterwards then we moved out!

LoHe19 Wed 17-Jul-19 15:30:15

If you’re in Leeds OP then I defo heard you 😜

Enclume Wed 17-Jul-19 22:21:05

@SkydivingKittyCat I proper laughed out loud at the idea of screaming the man's name and address.

Might memorise my husband's passport and NI numbers.grin

GettickledGETTICKLEDbyspiders Wed 17-Jul-19 22:29:26

Don’t do that someone could write it all down and use it for identity theft.
No boning I ever had is worth all the hassle of police reports and waiting for new credit cards

skybluee Wed 17-Jul-19 22:48:53

You can hear people here, I've heard my neighbours, it's just something you have to accept with communal living and thin walls, a fact of life, there's not much you can do about it.

I'm pretty sure I've unfortunately done a similar thing, I had a really loud partner and wish I'd said to keep it down a bit, felt fairly embarrassed myself.

They may not know it was from you, or they may think it was the TV.

I can hear peoples conversations too, even when I'm inside and they're inside also. It's the way the buildings are at an angle to each other.

anitagreen Wed 17-Jul-19 23:03:03

Happened to me once my neighbour said to me the next day did you have a nice birthday? I said yes it was lovely thank you she said yes I know I heard you do Jiggy Jiggy blush Embarrassing ffs

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