To want my step mother to put a bit of effort into a small favour I'm doing her...?

[CarolineTheChemist]

Hello Mumsnetters!
I need your honest and brutal opinions...

A few months ago I moved into a beautiful old house and decided to make a new name sign for the front gate as the existing one was horrible. I paint as a hobby so I'm good with a paintbrush, and the old owners had kindly left some old bits of wood and a pot of black wood paint in the garage.

I spent ages looking for a font that I felt reflected the character of the house and it's quirky name. Once DH and I had chosen our favourite font, I painted an old plank black, stencilled the house name on the wood and filled it with white acrylic. Naturally as a painted I enjoyed this and got a lot of satisfaction when I hung it on the gate.

This weekend we had a house warming party and I got a lot of compliments on my new sign. My step mother asked me to make her one as she doesn't like their current one. One of my nearby neighbours drove past recently and later text me asking where I got it from, so I offered to make her one too.

I spent some time looking up fonts for both of them - they both have different style houses so I spent some time thinking about what might suit them, and gave them about 30/40 examples to choose their faves from. My step mother hasn't looked at the options I sent her, and instead has just replied saying she wants hers to be the same font as mine.

I don't feel okay about that. They live about 15 miles away so I guess it's not really a big deal, but I spent so much time choosing a font to reflect the character of our house that I don't like it that she's not putting in that effort for hers.

I glibly replied to her earlier saying she could only have that font if she could pick it out of the selection I sent her. Now I regret that as it could be seen as a bit childish.... When I agreed to make her one I didn't expect her to want the exact same thing as ours.

The question is am I being unreasonable in feeling irritated by this?

[Pipandmum]

Yes. She liked your sign. She wants that font. She probably isn’t even thinking that you may not want the same font for her house. She may not even know what a font is! Maybe she can’t imagine it in another style. I don’t think it’s a matter of her being too lazy to look at what you gave her - she’s probably thinking she’s already seen the one she wants - on the sign you did for yourself.

[BlueSkiesLies]

Yes YABU

She said she liked YOUR sign i.e. including the font!

[Maybesunshineafterall]

Yep you are BU.

[StCharlotte]

Sorry but I think YABU.

Don't you think it's the font that attracted her? You've effectively chosen for her already.

I too wanted a particular font for my house sign but not everyone is that interested in that sort of detail and I think you are over-thinking this hugely.

And, as you say, she lives 15 miles away...

[Maybesunshineafterall]

Don't get irritated OP, take it as a compliment! She thinks your work's great - that's fantastic. Nothing to get irritated about.

[ShinyMe]

I agree with the others, yabu. She likes your sign, including the font.

Also, in my opinion, I just can't imagine spending "ages" picking a font - surely for many people it's a pretty quick decision. Plus I think 30-40 options is far too many for some people to choose from

[Jeezoh]

You’re at risk of sounding a bit precious about a sign, just make her the one she’s said she likes

[Baguetteaboutit]

I glibly replied to her earlier saying she could only have that font if she could pick it out of the selection I sent her.

😂

She liked your sign. She didn't ask you to set her house up with the perfect font. You are being ridiculous.

[kittie01]

Yabu. Who cares if she has the same font as you. If only all life’s problems were this small

[TulipsTwoLips]

YABU

[DoneLikeAKipper]

The question is am I being unreasonable in feeling irritated by this?

I mean, do you really have to ask? It’s a sign, not a personality test. Though I’d love to see that on Buzzfeed - ‘pick your personality traits and we’ll tell you what wanky sign to put up on your house!’.

Either make the sign she asked for it don’t. Don’t infantilise her with a ‘selection of appropriate choices’ as if hers isn’t good enough/only ok for you.

[implantsandaDyson]

Yes, YABU - very few things in this life irritate me more than someone who agrees to do a favour for you and then turns it into a "thing".

[MyFokMarelize]

How do you match a house with a font? Do you have some kind of second sight or something? I can't imagine how long you'd have to stare at a house to get the right font.

[CrotchetyQuaver]

It's clear to me she likes the font you used for your sign, and wants the same for her own sign.
I suspect your near neighbour also likes the font you chose too.

[KurriKurri]

YANBU - someone could randomly drive a 15 mile trip, see your two houses and think you are Font twins - then all hell would break loose, you'd have to sell your house and possibly leave the country.


Or your SMum could be thinking ' I love Caroline's sign she made, she's so clever, I'll ask her if she can make one for me with the same font' and you could take it for the compliment it is, in which case YABU

[CarolineTheChemist]

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo... I know you guys have such good points
Damn! I really didn't want this to be unreasonable

I just know I'm going to resent every second I spend making it for her AND be reminded of that feeling every time I go to their house and see it outside..
.
Seeing as I'm doing them a nice favour in making it for them, would it really be so bad to say that I'll do it for any font, but just not that one??

I mean, this is my free time and there are lots of other enjoyable creative things I'd much rather spend my time on...

[Baguetteaboutit]

Well, I think I'm definitely living in an Arial home. One day I'd like to upgrade to a Times New Roman. But if I leave the lawn any longer we might slip into Wingdings and upset the neighbours.

[Butterymuffin]

Easy. Say you want every sign you make to be unique so you're going to change one detail. Pick a different font for her and say that ones really her, what does she think?

[MyCatHatesEverybody]

What an evil stepmother, the font stealing bitch

[Sorryisntgoodenough]

gave them about 30/40 examples to choose their faves from

But she wanted the SAME as you. YABU and if I was faced with 40 to choose from I would just think you were trying to back track about making me one.

[IncandescentShadow]

Too much detail. No-one is that interested in fonts for house signs, except maybe you OP. Its a specialist thing. Your OP details bored me to tears.

[implantsandaDyson]

Why did you offer if there's other things you'd rather be doing in your own time? Marytrs are their own worst enemy . I've a funny feeling feeling she also mightn't be grateful enough once its finished.

[AutumnCrow]

Don't do it then if it bothers you that much?

[MonkeyTrap]

If you didn’t want to make a sign similar to your sign, because it’s your sign you should have declined to make a sign.

[pretentiousrubberduck]

You're going to resent making it and will be reminded every time you see it don't bloody offer to make her one then! People like you are incredibly annoying; make a big deal out of offering to do someone a favour and then whinge when they take you up on it. Your poor SM!