Have never done an AIBU thread before but thought this was the best place....
Okay my dd is 4. She met a little girl of the same age a few weeks ago, through our church and they seemed to get on like a house on fire and i liked the mum too.
We went to the park the other day and the girls were having fun playing with their skipping ropes. A bit earlier when the other girl and my dd were playing, and the other mum had popped to a shop with her younger son, so i was with the girls, the other girl thumped my dd on the arm with her skipping rope handle. I just said "no, we don't do that" and the other girl said sorry and they made up. I decided it was not worth mentioning to the other mum.
Later on the girls were a little way away and both came back looking upset. The other girl said that my dd had said that she wasn't her friend anymore (as 4 years olds and wont do to - no?.) I went and asked dd what had happened and to tell her that it's not nice to say that. She said that other other girl had said it to. When i said this back to the mum as way of explaining the aquabble she just said "[her dd's name] wouldn;t say that". then she grabbed her 2 children and said i'll leave you to deal with it and walked off .
My dd was upset, as you can imagine. Then I got the whole story out of her. Basically neither girl was lying; each was telling her own version, the way they saw it. Other girl had said to my dd "you can't skip". My dd took this as a slight, as i think most 4 year olds would, and said back to her "you're not my friend" cos in her eyes this girl had said something on a par with this that had hurt her so wanted to reltaliate.
However, as far as i can see it, I shouldn't be needing to explain this to anyone. It is a typical 4 year old girl type of conversation - best friends one minute - enemies the next - best friends again soon after. One that doesn't need much parental input in any other situation i've ever been in. you know, you roll your eyes at the other mum, or maybe tell you child it's not very nice to say that you're not someone's friend.
What i am trying to say is that i think it is not the right attitude for this mum to walk off simply because she didn't like what my dd said, before she even heard the rest of the story. My dd is not a rough girl, she wouldn't swear etc (things where i might think a step needed to be taken on the side of the other parent not wanting their child to be influenced.....). Plenty of my friend's children have had squabbles and fights with my dd when i've thought "ooh, that's a bit much" but i would not even think of removing myself or my dd from it when it is an innocent children's way of learning their way through life and working out how friendships work.
I know i'm ranting, but i am just astounded that someone would walk away, thus teach
their child to do so.
so AIBU????
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AIBU?
To think that 4 year olds having mini squabble is normal?
17 replies
alittlebitshy · 29/07/2007 17:32
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