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To wish MIL would get her own life

(80 Posts)
cadburyegg Fri 12-Jul-19 17:38:07

DH told MIL we were considering getting a cat. She does have form for interfering behaviour, but this time she went ballistic. He showed me the following texts from her, more or less word for word.

"You who don't have time for us, but you are now getting a pet to look after?"
"Your house will be ruined. What a waste of money"
“Not happy about the litter tray and the children 😡”

DH (politely) texted that it is our decision and she went off on one again. “Well you just do what you want then as you always do. Either that you know we are right!"

He said to me he feels really down and undermined but he knows if he tells her that she'll just start moaning at him again. I don't know why she made the comment about us not having time for them, they come to over at least once a month for a cooked lunch. We saw them last weekend, the two weekends before that DH was working. We don't go round there much because they find cooking a meal for all of us a lot of work (we have two young DC).

It is between him and her, but I just wish she would butt out. AIBU?!

BottomliePotts Mon 15-Jul-19 16:15:46

Our cat was around 8 when I fell pregnant with DS2. I had spoken in passing to my MIL about my concerns about the cat jumping in the moses basket etc - nothing we couldn't manage, just concerns. Soon after she announced that she'd been asking around for someone to take the cat permanently. I still can't get my head around the huge leap she made from idle chat to I need you to rehome my well loved cat

dayslikethese1 Mon 15-Jul-19 16:12:02

How much time does she think a cat takes up? grin Seeing her once a month sounds plenty to me, dunno what her problem is. She needs a hobby.

Etino Mon 15-Jul-19 16:02:25

is there a back story that you don't see her much? How often are you and dh in touch with her? Her response is ridiculous, but if that's the only contact she's had from your in months its slightly more understandable.

H2OH20Everywhere Mon 15-Jul-19 15:56:24

Bearing in mind my mother lives 400 miles away, and I've had animals all my life:

Told her we're getting hens - 'I wouldn't want them!'
A rabbit - 'But you won't have time to clean it out?'
A cat - 'But you won't be able to look after it. You never used to have to look after OldCat' (because I wasn't allowed to interfere)

and so on and so forth. DP and I have had many, many pets over the years, all spoilt rotten and treated wonderfully well. Now I'm pregnant, my mother has said more than once that I'll need to get rid of them, because there'll be too much mess. That's not happening!

Loyaultemelie Mon 15-Jul-19 15:40:00

I'll lend you Franky. He's fat, stinky farty and bites when he wants food or stroked (not hard just a nibble) and never mind dcs with him around you can forget ever going to the loo alone. Despite all this we love him and he loves us. He's also bomb proof with dc. Your mil would hate him grin

Singlenotsingle Sun 14-Jul-19 16:58:08

This is Louie, friendly but timid. He can't understand why anyone wouldn't love him.

Oldraver Sat 13-Jul-19 13:21:44

Get DH to send the text.....We understand f you dont want to come over when we get the cat

LadyRannaldini Sat 13-Jul-19 12:38:39

My MIL was shocked that we weren't "getting rid of" our cat when I was expecting DS

My mother reacted in a similar way when we told here we were having No 1, Oh you'll have to get rid of the cat! We told her that as we had had the cat a lot longer it had far more rights than the new pet we were expecting, she wasn't happy!

YouTheCat Sat 13-Jul-19 09:42:02

My cat is smiling at you.

thegreylady Sat 13-Jul-19 08:43:57

Colin needs a tummy tickle, would your MIL oblige?

timeisnotaline Sat 13-Jul-19 08:00:32

She does sound nuts but if they aren’t far, once a month is not often really.

Nofunkingworriesmate Sat 13-Jul-19 07:37:48

It’s a fucking cat! Not a wild tiger! How dare she speak to you like that, if you were the au pair and she the mother of baby text would make more sense

Nanasueathome Sat 13-Jul-19 07:35:27

Just wait until Cheddar gives her opinion........

JellyNo15 Sat 13-Jul-19 07:30:31

My cat is appalled by your MIL’s attitude

Effendi Sat 13-Jul-19 06:00:42

My cat is judging your MIL.

Fluffycloudland77 Sat 13-Jul-19 05:54:00

I agree your dh not knowing it’s its abnormal is the worst bit. Adults don’t tell other adults off like their still kids.

Jemima232 Sat 13-Jul-19 05:10:47

Another shot of McVicar

Jemima232 Sat 13-Jul-19 05:08:44

This splendid cat is very appealing

Topseyt Sat 13-Jul-19 03:38:58

Get a cat and a dog, or even a couple of each.. That should rile MIL up nicely

Stop oversharing with her. Just get on with your lives without telling her your plans and then it is just a fait accompli when she does become aware.

Sharing your plans is giving her the chance to critique them, so tell her fuck all. That will stop most of these arguments. If she asks why you didn't tell her before doing something then you tell her firmly that it is/was none of her business.

visitorthedog Sat 13-Jul-19 03:35:18

Definitely name it after her.

Birdie6 Sat 13-Jul-19 03:25:38

I'm loving this thread.

Jemima232 Sat 13-Jul-19 03:01:06

And here are two more

MooseBeTimeForSummer Sat 13-Jul-19 02:39:43

This one is expert level hard stare

Jemima232 Sat 13-Jul-19 02:10:29

Well if this is a free-for-all cat-posting thread

RosesAndRaindrops Sat 13-Jul-19 01:45:53

I don't like cats, and allergic to them to boot
but even I'm saying it's nothing to do with your MIL, it's yours and your DH's decision, nowt to do with her.
Just mentally file under "Oookay" and get one anyway!

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