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To wish MIL would get her own life

(80 Posts)
cadburyegg Fri 12-Jul-19 17:38:07

DH told MIL we were considering getting a cat. She does have form for interfering behaviour, but this time she went ballistic. He showed me the following texts from her, more or less word for word.

"You who don't have time for us, but you are now getting a pet to look after?"
"Your house will be ruined. What a waste of money"
“Not happy about the litter tray and the children 😡”

DH (politely) texted that it is our decision and she went off on one again. “Well you just do what you want then as you always do. Either that you know we are right!"

He said to me he feels really down and undermined but he knows if he tells her that she'll just start moaning at him again. I don't know why she made the comment about us not having time for them, they come to over at least once a month for a cooked lunch. We saw them last weekend, the two weekends before that DH was working. We don't go round there much because they find cooking a meal for all of us a lot of work (we have two young DC).

It is between him and her, but I just wish she would butt out. AIBU?!

sneakypinky Fri 12-Jul-19 17:41:15

Ignore the daft cow. Get a cat.

My cat is fucking awesome and I love him more than most of my extended family.

mbosnz Fri 12-Jul-19 17:42:44

Don't get one cat. Get two. Long haired ones. Hopefully she has allergies. . . gain a cat, lose a MIL, lol.

Pollywollydolly Fri 12-Jul-19 17:42:45

Forget the cat! Get a huge dog!

NoSauce Fri 12-Jul-19 17:43:34

Crazy behaviour!

DennisMailerWasHere Fri 12-Jul-19 17:44:19

You need to go on an information diet. Just stop telling her anything but trivial stuff. And if big things need to be mentioned or get accidentally mentioned, brush off her comments - do not engage.

You cannot control her.

But you can control what she's told, and how you respond to it.

newmomof1 Fri 12-Jul-19 17:47:03

Just ignore her - don't get involved. Her opinion is irrelevant.

I don't understand why they need to provide a meal if you were to visit them (unless they live ages away). Can't you just pop over for an hour or two?

TremblingFanjo Fri 12-Jul-19 17:47:15

Don't get a cat.

Get two.

PepsiLola Fri 12-Jul-19 17:50:02

I hear it's best to get cats in fours....

I hope they shit in her dinner

Aquamarine1029 Fri 12-Jul-19 17:52:40

Why is your husband consulting his mum about getting a cat? Time to cut the apron strings and behave like a grown man.

flobella Fri 12-Jul-19 17:57:27

Buy a pony.

imsuchagrump Fri 12-Jul-19 18:07:23

What the actual F** and I thought my dad was batshit .
Do not give this woman another thought .
Seriously how some people think they can dictate other people's lives shock

EileenAlanna Fri 12-Jul-19 18:08:53

No home is complete without cats. The legal minimum is one but of course no rational person would stop at that. Myself, I'd share the joyous news with my MIL that we'd decided to commercially breed them, with a boarding cattery as an equally lucrative & rewarding adjunct. Tell her you'll be getting the DCs involved as early as possible with mucking in in the family business.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth Fri 12-Jul-19 18:25:02

I have a friend who is totally focused on her grown up children; she resents anything that takes up their time - she doesn't agree with them working full time as it means she can't see them during the day, she contacts them whilst they are working, she can't stand their partners, in-laws or friends as they take up time they could be spending with her.

We have all been trying to get her involved in voluntary work and to start doing more with us. It has got a lot worse since she quit work and her youngest child left home. Keeping her busy with other things has helped.

She's recently kicked off as one of them got a dog and she thinks they are too busy and she will see them less now as well. She says they don't make time for her and she feels unloved.

Her children arrange set days and times to see her and ignore contact when it gets excessive. They've worked hard to set strict boundaries.

SolsticeBabyMaybe Fri 12-Jul-19 18:49:41

Lol!!! 'you don't have time for us now you're getting a pet'?

That is so silly!!!!!!!!!!! What a ludicrous woman

EssentialHummus Fri 12-Jul-19 18:52:01

Fuck the cat, get a Rottie.

KurriKurri Fri 12-Jul-19 18:54:44

Get your dh to reply with a Pusheen emoji every time she texts.

YesItsMeIDontCare Fri 12-Jul-19 18:55:58

You need a cat.

Signhereplease Fri 12-Jul-19 18:59:05

I would tell her that I would rather put up with cat shit than her shit.

She sounds like a miserable arsehole.

Ignore her totally.

YesItsMeIDontCare Fri 12-Jul-19 18:59:50

And don't forget to send birthday and Christmas cards to her from said cat.

Always refer to her as the cat's grandmother too.

70isaLimitNotaTarget Fri 12-Jul-19 19:03:02

If you want I'll send them round to your MIL? They can have a 'chat'

SavingSpaces2019 Fri 12-Jul-19 19:06:24

My cat is not impressed......

SavingSpaces2019 Fri 12-Jul-19 19:08:09

hopefully pic will upload this time...

TeapotofTerror Fri 12-Jul-19 19:19:34

Get the biggest, most badass cat you can find and pin a photo of MIL to its scratching post. 😼

My MIL was shocked that we weren't "getting rid of" our cat when I was expecting DS. "But what if he gets a hair in his mouth?!" hmm

cadburyegg Fri 12-Jul-19 19:21:46

Thank you for the replies. Particularly enjoying the cat pictures and the suggestion of sending her a card from the cat ☺️

To answer the questions... DH didn’t ask MIL her opinion, she text him asking how we were and his reply was along the lines of “we are all good thank you we are thinking of getting a cat”. I wouldn’t have thought anything if he did ask her though, I asked MN after all!

We do sometimes just pop over to their house for a couple of hours but sometimes it can be hard to fit it in with the kids’ mealtimes, DS2’s nap, and traffic (I am not married to any routine, but they do need to eat at mealtimes).

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