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Prepare for MN meltdown

(149 Posts)
Alsohuman Fri 12-Jul-19 15:01:41

The dishwasher repair man just asked to use our loo. And I let him.

Sparklingbrook Fri 12-Jul-19 15:02:36

Reported for being obvious lie.

Malibucyprus Fri 12-Jul-19 15:03:02

You traitor!! shock

Jebuschristchocolatebar Fri 12-Jul-19 15:03:05


DramaAlpaca Fri 12-Jul-19 15:03:35

Nah. Don't believe you.

RightYesButNo Fri 12-Jul-19 15:03:56

Obviously a reverse. Maybe the dishwasher writing. hmm

Userplusnumbers Fri 12-Jul-19 15:04:05

I'm logging this with 101 and SS. You're clearly not safeguarding your children

EatingBreadAndHoney Fri 12-Jul-19 15:04:12

And I suppose you have a loo brush, too. shock

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername Fri 12-Jul-19 15:04:27

But did you put the loo seat into the repaired dishwasher afterwards?

chemenger Fri 12-Jul-19 15:04:42

Will you be burning your house down afterwards?

Billballbaggins Fri 12-Jul-19 15:04:57

Lies! A real MNetter would never let a workman so much as look at their toilet.

MyOpinionIsValid Fri 12-Jul-19 15:05:05

Did he use the toilet brush as well ?

Sparklingbrook Fri 12-Jul-19 15:05:32

I let the double glazing man use our loo last week and (get this) I didn't make him take his shoes off to come in.

PinkieTuscadero Fri 12-Jul-19 15:06:31

Ugh. Why didn't you go the whole hog and just let him shit directly into the dishwasher?

mimibunz Fri 12-Jul-19 15:07:09


Alsohuman Fri 12-Jul-19 15:08:02

Yes, said repair man is still wearing his shoes.

chemenger Fri 12-Jul-19 15:08:45

It can't be true, because a real mumsnetter would never have answered the doorbell to let him in the house. And if he did break in the bleach fumes would have rendered him unconscious, or he would have tripped over the enormous pile of once used towels and bedding waiting to be washed.

Sparklingbrook Fri 12-Jul-19 15:09:13

We are going to hell Alsohuman. grin

chemenger Fri 12-Jul-19 15:09:55

(I did not add that link on the word "bedding". is this a new "feature" of MN?)

ShakeYourTailFeathers Fri 12-Jul-19 15:10:20

The electrician uses my loo every day! But then i am married to him grin

TheFaerieQueene Fri 12-Jul-19 15:11:26

Well unless you burn the house down you are dead to us all!

DragonsOnRoof Fri 12-Jul-19 15:11:42

Maybe he has dementia?

Cailleach Fri 12-Jul-19 15:13:03

Shouldn't you be on Netmums, hun...?

PinkieTuscadero Fri 12-Jul-19 15:16:53

Big 'UGH' to MN randomly linking words to affiliate links for things they want to flog us.

ThatCurlyGirl Fri 12-Jul-19 15:19:43

For once I do not want a diagram.

LondonJax Fri 12-Jul-19 15:20:47

Have the kids broken up from school already? Really, no self respecting MN would let a repair man use their loo - you don't know where they've been!

DragonsOnRoof Fri 12-Jul-19 15:21:03

Big 'UGH' to MN randomly linking words to affiliate links for things they want to flog us.

Agreed. It's beyond tacky.

BellyAching19 Fri 12-Jul-19 15:22:07

I’ve just spat my coffee all over my laptop reading this thread. AND I’ve woken next door babies and shook with laughter so much that my settee has fallen to bits. Reported.

floraloctopus Fri 12-Jul-19 15:24:17

No doubt there is also twiggy shit (no, not that sort....) and a feature wall in there?

katewhinesalot Fri 12-Jul-19 15:25:32

The op must be a troll.

flumpybear Fri 12-Jul-19 15:26:17

We have a dedicated toilet for workmen in our house

nocoolnamesleft Fri 12-Jul-19 15:26:42

Yes, but where did he park his work van?

Isatis Fri 12-Jul-19 15:26:52

U OK Hun?

Karmin Fri 12-Jul-19 15:27:18

As long as he/she doesn't leave piles of muck everywhere!

JacquesHammer Fri 12-Jul-19 15:27:44

Did he also eat whilst working and manage admirably well to multitask? wink

exWifebeginsat40 Fri 12-Jul-19 15:28:55

what in the name of all that is holy are these links?

@Karmin - your post links to an article on constipation and piles. what is happen?!

flouncyfanny Fri 12-Jul-19 15:29:00

You have only two choices:
1. move
2. demolish house

Alsohuman Fri 12-Jul-19 15:29:16

He’s gone, having condemned the dishwasher so we get a new one under warranty.

And he didn’t pee on the floor. Is he in the right job?

katewhinesalot Fri 12-Jul-19 15:29:18

Surely one should have ordered a new one immediately. You've actually had it repaired ? shock

BlackCatSleeping Fri 12-Jul-19 15:29:23

Watch he doesn’t steal your expensive designer candle!


katewhinesalot Fri 12-Jul-19 15:29:48

x post

exWifebeginsat40 Fri 12-Jul-19 15:29:49

so does mine, now.

what happens if i say... dresses? or sandals?

or loo brushes?

BigChocFrenzy Fri 12-Jul-19 15:30:08

You don't say if you have a loo brush

< cat's bum face 🐱 💩 >

We can't comment when you leave out half the details

BigChocFrenzy Fri 12-Jul-19 15:31:13

"repair man is still wearing his shoes."

He went to the toilet with his SHOES on shockshock

iMatter Fri 12-Jul-19 15:31:24

Check he hasn't stolen your children's pocket money

Presumably he had 2 sugars in his tea?

Rachelover40 Fri 12-Jul-19 15:31:26

You must be a wind up merchant with a nick name like yours!
Leave and never darken this forum again.

Lorddenning1 Fri 12-Jul-19 15:31:30

did you log it with 101?

Bettercallsaul1 Fri 12-Jul-19 15:31:45

Calm down, everyone! The OP obviously has a separate toilet, at the bottom of the garden, for workmen.

Redglitter Fri 12-Jul-19 15:32:42

Oddly enough when the Sky man asked to use mine last week I instantly thought of MN. (I let him use it)

SkintAsASkintThing Fri 12-Jul-19 15:32:47

And how are you feeling upon reflection ?

iMatter Fri 12-Jul-19 15:33:10

Was there chemistry between you?

floraloctopus Fri 12-Jul-19 15:33:19

But what would the neighbours think of strange men going down her lady garden? Has OP got no shame.

katewhinesalot Fri 12-Jul-19 15:33:20

How will you be able to cook your salmon in the interim?

Chovihano Fri 12-Jul-19 15:33:30

Did he put the seat down. dirty bastard

candycane222 Fri 12-Jul-19 15:35:19

@Karmin & @exWifebeingsat40 !!!! grin

who is going the start a thread seeing whose post can get the most gratuitous irrelevant links tagged in per paragraph???

OhMyGodTheyKilledKenny Fri 12-Jul-19 15:35:21

And he didn’t pee on the floor

That will be because he had a dump. A big, fat No.2.

And he didn't flush

Alsohuman Fri 12-Jul-19 15:36:16

@floraloctopus 🤣

MikeUniformMike Fri 12-Jul-19 15:37:16

Get your ducks in a row and LTB

ChicCroissant Fri 12-Jul-19 15:38:46

I hope you paid him with a cheque so you can cancel it ...

Orbison Fri 12-Jul-19 15:38:50


BellyAching19 Fri 12-Jul-19 15:39:05

Did you ask him if he meant to be so rude?

Did you tell him to fuck off to the far side of fuck and when he gets there, fuck of some more? (Cringe!)

NeckPainChairSearch Fri 12-Jul-19 15:40:07

What are this repair man's redeeming features, OP? FGS don't have a baby with him.

mbosnz Fri 12-Jul-19 15:40:57

I had a friend have a man working on the road outside her house, come and ask if she would mind heating his lunch up for him. And she did. . .

ThinkIveFoundYourMarbles Fri 12-Jul-19 15:42:33

You have a dishwasher??? shock

GinkPin Fri 12-Jul-19 15:43:48

Slippery slope.

Before you know it, you will be hanging your washing out at 8pm tonight without so much as a thought for it being darked on...

Branster Fri 12-Jul-19 15:44:36

I had to ask one of our maids what this thread was all about. I was informed Madam would never need to be prepared for such an eventuality. She even took me to the cooking quarters and showed me the dishwasher contraptions - why do they need 2 of these in there?! To my utter embarrassment I couldn’t help myself and ate 1 whole almond whilst I was there and nobody could tell me if it was organic or not. Now I’m utterly stressed out about gaining weight and called personal trainer over ASAP to take me to our gym (can never find that place on my own). I wish I never read this thread. MN has completely spoiled my day

Drum2018 Fri 12-Jul-19 15:45:22

Definitely block his number and delete him from all social media. Set his emails to spam. If he does call round again to use your loo don't open the door, just open a downstairs window to tell him to leave. Hopefully he won't shit on your lawn.

LangCleg Fri 12-Jul-19 15:45:52

I hope you didn't let him watch any tennis as well. That would be taking things too far.

Also: Zoflora. Check?

madcatladyforever Fri 12-Jul-19 15:46:07

Poo troll angry

karala Fri 12-Jul-19 15:46:44

this should have a trigger warning I HAVE BEEN TRIGGERED.


Lweji Fri 12-Jul-19 15:52:46

<makes mental note to ring my own machine repair man>

<who hasn't asked to use the loo ever>

Withnailandaye Fri 12-Jul-19 15:55:32

pinkie grin

Vesperia Fri 12-Jul-19 15:55:46

what is the problem with letting workmen use your toilet?

PinkieTuscadero Fri 12-Jul-19 15:57:47

Turds that emerge from tradespeople's bottoms are known to be much larger (ten times larger) and much stinkier (17 times stinkier) than other types of turds. There is also a worry they'll smear their bums on the bathroom wall.

TheQueef Fri 12-Jul-19 15:58:09

I think you are in desperate need of a spa day, with the dishwasher repair guy.

SeaViewBliss Fri 12-Jul-19 16:00:48

Complain immediately - he needs to be sacked. How can a human person have the nerve to not hold on to their shit during the working day. Fuming on your behalf.

LuluJakey1 Fri 12-Jul-19 16:11:09

Have you steam cleaned and bleached the loo, loo roll holder, seat, loo handle, door handle, light switch , taps, sink, floor and changed the hand towel yet? If not, I don't believe you at all.

truthisarevolutionaryact Fri 12-Jul-19 16:11:47

Where's the diagram?

Cornettoninja Fri 12-Jul-19 16:13:24

Well don’t come crying to us when your bum falls off from strangerassitis.

yiskasha Fri 12-Jul-19 16:13:24


Smotheroffive Fri 12-Jul-19 16:15:12

What a goady CF. Reported.

JacquesHammer Fri 12-Jul-19 16:15:48

Have you cancelled his cheque?

BertrandRussell Fri 12-Jul-19 16:16:34

When Is he going to let you use his loo? He’s taking advantage of you, OP!

Rachelover40 Fri 12-Jul-19 16:16:50

My husband has just been trying to fix our washing machine, hose has come loose.

Jemima232 Fri 12-Jul-19 16:17:05

Did he give you any unsolicited advice?

Jemima232 Fri 12-Jul-19 16:19:23

Another one who needs a diagram to fully understand this, OP.

Come on. How can we comment without a fucking diagram?

And be careful - he might tell his friends to come into your garden accidentally so that you can start another thread.

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace Fri 12-Jul-19 16:19:26

This is by far the most upsetting post I've read on MN.

Would anyone like to join me in throwing in a small contribution so that we can get the OP a little bunch of flowers or something? I'd like to think that someone would do it for me in such circumstances blush

Rachelover40 Fri 12-Jul-19 16:19:40

No he kept his shoes on. He had to bend over and I thought, "You could park a bike in there".

DragonglassHeart Fri 12-Jul-19 16:20:10

OMG! I bet he blocked your poor neighbour's drive with his big ugly white van too didn't he?

twistyturnycurlywhirly Fri 12-Jul-19 16:22:15

Burn your house. Burn it to the ground.

itbemay1 Fri 12-Jul-19 16:24:23

@UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername smilesmile

fraxion Fri 12-Jul-19 16:26:52

The dishwasher repair man just asked to use our loo. And I let him.

This afternoon one of the washing machine delivery men asked to use our loo and I let him. He didn't pee on the floor and put the seat and lid back down. They both kept their shoes on. AIBU in asking John Lewis to clean my carpets?

msmith501 Fri 12-Jul-19 16:38:08

Wash the hand soap with er... hand soap! And be careful not to get pregnant from the toilet seat... imagine a baby born wearing workman's clothes and steel toe capped boots... and sucking in its teeth (early developer) saying things like "you want me to shit my nappy... oooh that'll cost you" ... etc

QueenOfTheCroneAge Fri 12-Jul-19 16:39:31

What is it with all these fucking links MN has put on? Lets see. Vagina. Lampshade. Nappies. Brothel. Kitchen knife. Bawbag. Handbag.

PancakeAndKeith Fri 12-Jul-19 16:44:54

I do hope you informed him of the toilet etiquette.

Lolly25 Fri 12-Jul-19 16:45:40

Do what I do and have a toilet for the tradespeople...white tiles and self bleaching.......

femidom12 Fri 12-Jul-19 16:45:46

How can you set your acceptable tradesman behaviour bar so low?
What did you learn from your parents growing up about tradesman and boundaries?

Iggi999 Fri 12-Jul-19 16:52:34

I blame your mil.

HIVpos Fri 12-Jul-19 16:54:28

PMSL at this thread and the comments,,,just what I needed grin

But then...the links - WTF? I feel we need to evolve a whole new vocabulary to avoid them. Let’s see..

So I had constpation yesterday which resulted in mahoosive pies . I then got diarr...the squits and messed up my beding, so threw it in the wasing machine, then went shopping for new dreses and sanals..

We could have some fun link dodging. Don’t think pedants corner would approve though 🤔

Sorry - you were!

Lastbustowhitehawk Fri 12-Jul-19 16:58:49

Oh you have an inside loo do you? Nice stealth brag, OP.

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