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AIBU to be upset over mum’s comment at softplay?

(166 Posts)
Denise3011 Fri 12-Jul-19 14:54:00

This is more WWUD as I’m hurt by comments, but really didn’t know how to react or what to say - other than sorry!

Son is 2. We go weekly and although i had baby 3 weeks ago, I’ve kept to it because I don’t want to change even more of his routine - new baby has been a big enough change and I’ve had to temporarily stop some of his other classes etc.

Anyway, I had stitches after labour So I didn’t go inside the playarea as I’m still quite uncomfortable and stayed with pram in the viewing area to feed baby.

Son is very big for his age, wearing age 4/5 etc. For that reason He doesn’t stay in the under 5 area but is happy to go into the main section (upto age 8), often on his own.

Admittedly he’s very boisterous but ridiculously friendly - he will talk and play with anyone.

he made friends in the main area with a boy, similar aged, maybe 2-3, and they were happily racing down the slides together. Then I heard the other boy cry because my son went down a slide after him and he hadn’t moved from bottom.

Other mum went in and comforted her son and told my son to be more careful.

They carry on playing but a little while later, other boy is crying again and his mum goes in and brings her son out.

She comes over to me and says ‘that’s the second time your son has pushed him over. He really should know better at his age. I’m taking him home.”

I apologised but added he was only 2 and I’m sure he hadn’t pushed him over on purpose.

The mum replied, well he looks older and is too boisterous, you should be in there with him.

I explained I was feeding my newborn, apologised again and they left.

My son tried to say goodbye and other mum pulled her kid away and said ‘I don’t want you playing with him’

My son sadly asked where his friend had gone and I said it was time we went too.

Then I cried in my car.

Less than a month since baby so I’m a hormonal mess so maybe I am BU to be so hurt by her comments, after all her son was upset.

How would you react if your child was unintentionally hurt by another kid?
WWUD if your child accidentally hurt someone?

Feeling upset, judged and failing!

Amibeingdaft81 Fri 12-Jul-19 17:25:01

The age guidance is not purely physical. I can’t believe you thought allowing a 3 year old (a 2 year old!!) in to the older area was sensible.

Amibeingdaft81 Fri 12-Jul-19 17:26:04

Allowing a 2 year old

OnlyFoolsnMothers Fri 12-Jul-19 17:26:26

To be fair if kids are in school, my toddler uses the bigger areas. But regardless of area little kids need to be watched

Cheby Fri 12-Jul-19 17:26:37

I think you need to find a different soft play, one with a 2-4 area maybe. We have this issue with my just-turned-2yo. She’s physically extremely confident and more than capable of making her way around the over 5s area. She also desperately wants to follow her older sister and she’s bored in the under 5s areas.

But she doesn’t understand the rules in the same way that a 5 year old would or have an appropriate level of awareness (turn taking, waiting for slides, watching and being careful of other children on rope swings etc) which means she can injure other kids or get herself injured.

So either i go with her, or we go to a softplay that has 0-2, 2-4 and over 5s sections. The latter place’s 2-4 section is more challenging so she can have fun but be safer.

imsuchagrump Fri 12-Jul-19 17:27:14

I think you should cut yourself some slack you've just had a baby and you are still trying to do normal stuff . Can you avoid soft play until your more up for it and the baby is not feeding so regularly? It won't do your son any harm to miss soft play for a couple of weeks . You are hormonal and tired so easily upset but it's normal .

MrsLinManuelMiranda Fri 12-Jul-19 17:27:49

Oh , and to answer your original question about what would I do if my child was accidentally hurt- I would say "don't worry , it was just an accident " and probably apologise to the other parent because my child had not moved off the bottom of the slide quickly enough.

Millie2018 Fri 12-Jul-19 17:33:30

I’d like to add my opinion. In answer to your questions:
1. How would you react if your child was unintentionally hurt by another kid?
For me this always depends on the adult’s response. If they are apologetic and speak to the child about being more careful/not doing it again etc I’m ok. If they couldn’t give a shit, I’d be annoyed and probably let it show.
2. WWUD if your child accidentally hurt someone?
Apologise, speak to the child about what they did. If their behaviour doesn’t improve, remove them (leave).
FWIW I don’t think you did anything wrong in not being inside with your child, but after the first incident you probably should have spoken to your child a bit more strongly and watched a bit closer.
My son (age 1) was in an open plan soft play that we go to often. I was right by him. He went to wave at another child, only slightly bigger then him. This child gave him an almighty shove. Knocked him clean off his feet. Despite him screaming the place down, the adult with him didn’t look up from her phone. I spoke to her and asked her to supervise her child more closely. She apologised and said she would. She didn’t. The child then did the same to another child. This parent was not so understanding and tore a strip off the adult.
Chalk this occasion up to experience and maybe take a break from soft play for a while until you feel better.

waterrat Fri 12-Jul-19 17:48:56

Op I'd like to say that I would always be kind when out and about to a mum with a newborn so frankly the woman sounds like a cow.

Denise3011 Fri 12-Jul-19 17:50:32

@Amibeingdaft81 how is the area relevant? When they were the only two children in the building and the other child was younger and physically smaller than my son?
I mentioned it because my son doesn’t use the under 5 area because he is bigger than other kids!

ShesABelter Fri 12-Jul-19 17:52:10

Eh if you should of been in with your two year old she should of been in with hers then she could of taught him to move off the slide like you are suppose to after going down and he wouldn't of been hurt in the first place.

I wouldnt worry about it op. Totally understand you being upset when you just had a baby. Just move on and forget it.

CatteStreet Fri 12-Jul-19 17:56:11

I'm sorry, OP, but I'm with those saying that 2 is too young to be left unsupervised. Really, it's really really little (I know it takes a while to realise this when you have an even younger one, and I suspect perhaps his height is additionally skewing your perception). I don't think the other mother was particularly kind, but at that age you still need to be right there, especially if your child is big for their age and therefore more liable to - entirely innocently - hurting smaller ones. I can also say that at 2, it won't hurt your ds to not go to soft play for a few weeks. 'Routine' is less important at that stage than it's always made out to be, and certainly when it's on a weekly basis - that sort of awareness doesn't kick in until 3ish IME. Or how about a sling? I used to bf mine in theirs (I appreciate that being fairly flat-chested is likely to have made that more feasible).

Denise3011 Fri 12-Jul-19 17:57:34

@shesAbelter - thank you. It’s just been one of those experiences.
I fully accept I’ve been trying for the last few weeks to just carry on as normal. - with toddler, at home responsibilities etc and it’s starting to wear me down.
I’m suffocating with mum guilt over the toddler and ensuring he life isn’t changed too much and trying to treat new baby like a first born with undivided attention sad
The best advice I’ve had on here today is to be kinder to myself - I know my son didn’t hurt that child intentionally. I actually believe he didn’t push him over at all but I didn’t and wouldn’t have said that to the mum.
I did apologise and she wasn’t watching her son either.
I’ve beaten myself up enough the last 48hours so I’m letting this one go!
Like someone said above - there’s much worse to come! Ha

Ozziewozzie Fri 12-Jul-19 17:57:59

Maybe she should be supervising her son if she’s so concerned about him.
When my son was at nursery, another boy punched and kicked him. The teacher was mortified and my son was really upset. The other boys mum was notified and came to me to apologise. Instead of being shitty, I suggested we get the boys together for a play date ( supervised). It worked brilliantly. The boys became brilliant friends and his mum was lovely. It happens with children but both children need to be supported and learn from it, not shamed for it. YANBU.

cloudyinjune Fri 12-Jul-19 18:24:45

It is difficult OP but I have to agree that he needs to be supervised.
I think it is so good to are trying to keep a bit of the old routine for him with the new baby and it must be so hard!
But maybe you could join some of the other classes you mentioned instead? I believe at that age they need to be supervised in soft play sorry.
I had to stop going because I was tired of other toddlers being unsupervised and pushing my child and upsetting him. Once is an accident but they really need parents there that young.
She should supervise too but it was your son who did the pushing twice and made him cry, so sorry, I would have been upset too.

GoBrookeYourself Fri 12-Jul-19 18:41:37

Personally I think grown adults crawling through soft plays after toddlers look utterly ridiculous. Give them some space and let them interact with others and suss things out for themselves.

Ridiculous comment when the toddlers in question are only 2- as a PP said, in soft play areas there are often 5-8 year olds in the under 3 areas jumping around and being boisterous and I personally think it’s more ridiculous to have parents at soft play paying no attention to their kids at all (not aimed at OP, completely different circumstances and you were paying attention from the side). This week i took my DS who is 2 to softplay and a boy who was easily about 5 was spitting on him and pushing him; his mum was texting and paying no attention and if I hadn’t been stood near DS I wouldn’t have seen the spitting and his speech isn’t advanced enough to be able to tell me what happened. So I’d much rather be the parent who looks ‘utterly ridiculous’ to someone like you than the parent that’s paying no attention to their kids.

yourestandingonmyneck Fri 12-Jul-19 18:53:23

Well bash on then, you're free to look as utterly ridiculous as you like.

Ozziewozzie Fri 12-Jul-19 19:35:41

I agree with you @GoBrookeYourself
Far too often parents sit on their phones or in some cases actually asleep in soft play areas.
Parents should parent their children from both sides. You certainly don’t ‘let them work it out for themselves’ at 2!!!

Sagradafamiliar Fri 12-Jul-19 19:46:13

Ah fuck her OP. Her comment at the end was indeed shit. You were polite and time travel doesn't exist yet.
May you have cuppas aplenty tonight.

Notcopingwellhere Fri 12-Jul-19 20:09:55

My small-for-his-age DS who is just under three is already bored by the toddler parts of the soft play. He’s absolutely fine in the bigger bits and as OP said, when it’s quiet it’s fairly safe. However there are some quite big drops or parts where he might get disoriented or could hurt himself with things like big swinging punchbag type things etc so I do go with him, especially if any older kids about. He also usually wants me to join in the play and I don’t give a shit if people think I look ridiculous.

yourestandingonmyneck Fri 12-Jul-19 20:12:26

*I agree with you @GoBrookeYourself
Far too often parents sit on their phones or in some cases actually asleep in soft play areas.
Parents should parent their children from both sides. You certainly don’t ‘let them work it out for themselves’ at 2!!!*

Do you not? Surely that's exactly what being a 2 year old is all about 😂

Anyway, my comments were directed towards the OP who has recently given birth and had an overzealous parent give her a hard time. Your snidey comments towards me in defence of your own parenting are exactly why so many people call MN a vipersnest. Awful attitude.

Howmanysleepstilchristmas Fri 12-Jul-19 20:15:30

Surely she could’ve supervised her son? If she lets him on the older kids bit alone, she should be aware there’ll be larger kids playing. If she thinks it’s too risky she needs to a) stay with him or b) keep him to the age appropriate part.

yourestandingonmyneck Fri 12-Jul-19 20:15:32

@Notcopingwellhere - I don't think parents playing with their children look ridiculous. I think parents who follow their kids about when they are trying to play independently look ridiculous.

There are hundreds of activities for parents to play with and get involved with their kids. Softplay is the one, designated place where it is supposed to be safe to let them roam about on their own and play with other kids confused

myself2020 Fri 12-Jul-19 20:16:05

think how you would feel if a significantly older looking child would have bumped into your kid, pushed him over etc while mum chills out in the cafe?
get a sling, newborn in the sling, and in you go

Notcopingwellhere Fri 12-Jul-19 20:19:31

Do you not? Surely that's exactly what being a 2 year old is all about 😂

In the toddler area, yes. But in the older kids’ bit he needs more supervision.

Notcopingwellhere Fri 12-Jul-19 20:21:31

Softplay is the one, designated place where it is supposed to be safe to let them roam about on their own and play with other kids
Again, only if they stay in the zone designated for their age.

BogglesGoggles Fri 12-Jul-19 20:24:17

Children do push. Some parents are just really weird and take these things really personally.

voddiekeepsmesane Fri 12-Jul-19 20:33:11

Sorry at 2 my son was fairly small. If a child twice his size no matter what age they were upset my child twice I too would have words. I am sorry but your problems are not mine. My main concern is my child. She let it go the once but after the second time she had a right to say something. I understand it is difficult for you at the moment but it dosen't mean that her child should have to put up with upsetting behaviour IMO

herculepoirot2 Fri 12-Jul-19 20:34:10

Softplay is the one, designated place where it is supposed to be safe to let them roam about on their own and play with other kids

Once it’s safe for them to do so, yes. Some of the children I have seen “roaming” in the three storey soft play near our house - complete with spider nets, three foot drops, boulders on chains, eight foot staircases - can’t be more than 2 years old. I have had to intervene many times (whilst trying to look after my own child) to prevent injury coming to a child who is clearly too young for the equipment.

Lweji Fri 12-Jul-19 20:37:04

The problem with (both of them) being in the older area is that, in this case, slides are different.
Going down and bumping onto a child on a smaller, less high, slide is not the same as from going down a taller slide with a more pronounced slope for the older children.
Exactly because 2 year olds don't have the same maturity and take more risks.

I do think you should keep him to the younger area particularly at times when you can't supervise him properly.

BarbariansMum Fri 12-Jul-19 20:39:17

You can't on the one hand say "oh he's only two" but on the other " he's big for his age so I let him play alone in the area for older children".

2 year olds need constant supervision, especially the boisterous ones. If you can't offer that then, for now, you can't go.

Pushing and hurting other children isn't friendly behaviour btw, even if it is unintentional.

Sagradafamiliar Fri 12-Jul-19 20:45:29

No soft play near me allows adults in. I think they're right. The adults get in the way. If a child gets 'stuck' or otherwise needs fetching down then a member of staff goes in. It's good because it puts paid to all the 'you should be closely supervising your kid!' snidey comments (which I've never come across in real life anyway). If a child isn't ready for independent play in a safe, secure, age appropriate environment then they shouldn't be in there at all.

DocusDiplo Fri 12-Jul-19 20:48:03

Aww don't worry OP, you're doing great flowers congrats on newborn and go easy on yourself.

Sagradafamiliar Fri 12-Jul-19 20:48:19

I should probably add that before the rules changed in my most local soft play area, the adults who would go in were mainly men thinking they were big kids, diving about the place and zooming down the slides. Not much to do with supervision.

Denise3011 Fri 12-Jul-19 20:54:37

@voddiekeepsmesane she didn’t let it go? She checked on her son, as I did mine and she told my son off - despite her son not actually moving from the bottom of the slide for much longer than I would have expected any two year old to wait.
She wasn’t inside the play area either - she was sat having a coffee with her mate.
Neither of us directly saw what happened the second time - her son said he was pushed over, my son said they were running together and they both fell.
My son apologised and asked if he was ok.
The more I justify this incident, the more I know she was overreacting - as others have said, if she was so concerned she should have stayed in there with him.

voddiekeepsmesane Fri 12-Jul-19 20:54:51

Agree with you Sagradafamiliar unfortunately the OP seems to think that because her child is larger than the average 2 year old that they can cope unattended in the older area obviously not true. And in my time of going to soft play I heard a lot of remarks along the line of "you should be closely supervising your child" and have actually said it to others, though we are talking a few years ago for me now maybe parents are a more meek lot now?!

voddiekeepsmesane Fri 12-Jul-19 20:56:46

Wow ok lets make it all about her and her child ...OP obviously your child was a complete innocent in all of this hmm

Denise3011 Fri 12-Jul-19 20:58:00

@BarbariansMum I have explained above that his mum wasn’t in the soft play either - she was sat having a cuppa with her mate.
My son said he didn’t push him, they were running and both fell.
He also asked if this boy was ok and gave him a hug.
He is a very friendly child and wouldn’t hurt someone on purpose - I explained he was only two because she said “at his age he should know better” when her son is of similar age.
They were the only two kids in the building so I was happy for him to be in the larger area - as was the other mum

restingpigeon Fri 12-Jul-19 20:59:23

it is nonsense to suggest people ought not to take their kids into softplay - so children with gross motor skills should be denied softplay until they're safe to go in without an adult? I wonder how you think they'd improve their gross motor skills without a soft play during the many frequent rainy weekends.

This thread is all well and good that some children are fine on their own in softplay, that's obviously true but saying no adults should be allowed else the kids aren't fit for playing is...

BarbariansMum Fri 12-Jul-19 21:01:04

Ffs! The rule with slides is that you wait till the bottom is clear. If a child, esp a toddler, sits there longer then you wait. And wait some more if necessary.

The reason that your child doesn't understand this ^^ is that he's two. Because hes 2 he has no business being unattended in a play area for older children.

shesgrownhorns Fri 12-Jul-19 21:02:24

Aw don't let it get to you OP - she sounds like a right misery guts. Chalk it up to a bad day and just try to stay a bit closer next time. A 50/50 split on unreasonable if you ask me smile

Stripes66 Fri 12-Jul-19 21:04:19

I feel for you. You want to be able to have your 2 year old have fun and feed your newborn. I get it and if I’d have been that mom, I’d have probably not said anything as I’d recognise what you were trying to do. Being a new mom can be so hard and lonely too, let alone having a toddler to entertain. Please don’t be sad x

Denise3011 Fri 12-Jul-19 21:08:59

@BarbariansMum has no business?!
Haha ok.....grin
And please don’t for Fucks sake me over the ‘etiquette’ of a slide when the other two year old didn’t understand to move his arse when he got to the bottom!
His mother is lucky it wasn’t an 8 year old that cane down next

herculepoirot2 Fri 12-Jul-19 21:09:03

The more I justify this incident, the more I know she was overreacting - as others have said, if she was so concerned she should have stayed in there with him.

You weren’t there. You can’t really comment.

cadburyegg Fri 12-Jul-19 21:12:37

It depends on the 2 year old because a 2yr 1 month old can be very different to a nearly 3 year old. It also depends on the child’s nature, size of the soft play, other kids there etc etc. I actually let DS1 start running around on the “big area” of our local soft play probably from the age of 2yr 9m. It’s a fairly small soft play centre though and you can see everything from the ground (you actually have a better view). He was very physically capable but also very shy, which meant he never came close to pushing anyone and he certainly wasn’t boisterous.

Once you let a toddler run around an area meant for bigger kids you need to accept that sometimes they might get pushed over by accident simply because the other kids have the advantage of size. So I think this woman overreacted and was a little mean, she should have cut you some slack after it was obvious you had a little baby too.

However, I also think you made a mistake going to soft play knowing your child is a little “boisterous” (be careful you don’t use that word to explain away bad behaviour) and knowing you may not have been able to supervise adequately. We all make mistakes and you’re only human. I actually left DS1 in the soft play area when he was 3 to go to the toilet… he was running around with a friend, I’d just had DS2 so I wasn’t really thinking straight, and I didn’t think he’d notice. Well he did notice and was inconsolable when I returned. I definitely deserved the judgemental looks that day.

It’s hard with 2. I actually still find it hard taking my 2 to soft play still and they are 4 and 16 months. DS1 is jealous that he is not allowed in the baby areas when DS2 is, also that I have to constantly supervise DS2. Sigh!


shesgrownhorns Fri 12-Jul-19 21:15:42

No don't be sad! You're doing a great job and there was no lasting damage. Next time drag someone along to help you out - it's too difficult alone - mine are 13 months apart and when they were little and I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown pretty much all the time. You need more help!

voddiekeepsmesane Fri 12-Jul-19 21:16:16

Let's flip it OP and those who think that the other woman was being unreasonable. If a child that looked about 5/6 and had managed to make your child cry twice. Would you say anything? And if you did and the parent said but they are only 3 would that make a difference to how you or your child felt?

voddiekeepsmesane Fri 12-Jul-19 21:19:06

As admirable as it is that you are out and about with a new born and a 2 year old. The 2 year old will not be harmed by staying in or going to places that are easier to manage for a month or 2 while you recuperate OP

Hugtheduggee Fri 12-Jul-19 21:22:16

Our local soft play (the only one) has a tiny under 5s area that my daughter was bored of well before the age of 18m. She's been in the 'big' area (albeit with me following her) since she was 8m old, because its got the space for her to crawl, cruise at that age etc.

Now, at just turned 2, she'll only go briefly into the under 5s area, because it's just not big enough or exciting. Sometimes I follow her, sometimes I keep an eye on her from below, but she's certainly not under constant supervision.

Like the OP though, this is only when it's quiet and there are no bigger kids around. During school hours, the whole place is for under 5s as far as I'm concerned.

Funnily enough, I've seen other posts on MN where people have been ridiculed for following round after their toddler.

Aquilla Fri 12-Jul-19 21:31:09

I sympathise, op! As the mother of three 'giants'.

herculepoirot2 Fri 12-Jul-19 21:33:02

During school hours, the whole place is for under 5s as far as I'm concerned.

Except that it isn’t. The soft play folks won’t take responsibility for your kid’s broken leg.

MsTSwift Fri 12-Jul-19 21:36:37

She doesn’t care about you your situation or the fact you have a newborn you are a grown adult she just cares about her own son. Which is understandable tbh.

Vulpine Fri 12-Jul-19 21:36:47

The other woman was a self righteous old bag

ittakes2 Fri 12-Jul-19 21:37:36

YABU sorry - at 2 he is too young to know how to pace himself on a slide so it can't be a huge surprise he is not waiting for others to get off first. I get you are not capable of shadowing him at the moment so the solution is he doesn't go on the slide.

KimchiLaLa Fri 12-Jul-19 21:38:23

I don't know OP, I feel for you. But I wouldn't leave a two year old alone at softplay. I know you don't want to disrupt his routine but maybe take him somewhere else?

Shazafied Fri 12-Jul-19 21:51:08

I have a 19 mo and a 10 week old and there’s no way I’d set foot in soft play with both of them right now. You cannot properly supervise /look after them both in at environment.

Lweji Fri 12-Jul-19 22:01:48

His mother is lucky it wasn’t an 8 year old that cane down next

8 year olds are better at waiting for other children to get off the slide. That's why younger children aren't supposed to be there.

SweetNorthernRose Fri 12-Jul-19 22:02:20

Forgive me I've misread but wasn't the other kid involved only 2 as well? If we're all saying OP was unreasonable for letting her kid in the 'bigger kid' area then surely other mum was as well? Lesson learned for both mums I think but I can see why you were upset by her comments.

Denise3011 Fri 12-Jul-19 22:11:23

Yes other kid was about 2 as well.
They were the only two kids in the building - both in the main area
His mother wasn’t in the soft play area either, she was having a coffee with her mate.
Neither of us saw what happened but I apologised to her, told my son to be more careful. asked if her son was ok. My son also asked if he was ok.

likeafishneedsabike Fri 12-Jul-19 22:24:55

OP you’re doing a great job getting the three of you out and about. But the soft play set up isn’t going to work in the newborn stage because your toddler needs supervision. Your choices are:
1) go with some friends do you can all muck in with supervising toddlers/holding babies
2) search high and low for toddler groups with open plan set ups (to allow eyes on toddler at all times). For this very reason I HATED toddler group at the library (couldn’t manage to see through bookshelves) but loved the church hall ones with a completely open space.

Stone me, it was hard work with a 2 year old and a newborn full time. We spent hours walking around with baby in the pram and toddler on the buggy board.

SudowoodoVoodoo Fri 12-Jul-19 22:37:49

Having a toddler and a new baby is a steep learning curve.

My own experience was when DS2 was 6 weeks and I was on one of my first outings at the park in goodness knows how many months after an unusually long, cold winter, SPD, then the damage to my pelvic floor aggravating the SPD to the point that I did not leave the house for anything non-essential that wasn't medical for the first 5 weeks. Hindsight is a wonderful thing however DS2 needed feeding and DS1 (2) seemed to be happy playing on a piece of equipment. I was on a nearby bench within a few metres that had a restricted view; I could see that DS was on there, but not the finer details. After a while a mum exclaimed that a child had been bitten. Unfortunately DS had form and was going through a phase of it because his life had been turned upside-down and I'd been incapacitated for months so he hadn't been getting out much. I staggered over with my burning pelvis looking like I'd lost a horse from between my legs with a baby clamped to my breast and dragged DS1 off. Hopefully if DS had bitten someone, the sight of me should have been self explanitory about why I wasn't physically capable of helicoptering around.
Over a good six months or so of late pregnancy, post-birth recovery and the chicken pox month, DS spent far more time than should be healthy, sitting inside watching Thomas and Fireman Sam DVDs on loop because it was just too difficult to get out. Fortunately time goes by, and we got long past that phase.

Unsupervised children running amok is obviously far from ideal, but someone who is clearly having difficulties should be treated with more kindness than someone who clearly doesn't care. A quiet soft play with no school age children should be a relatively safe place to let a young child burn off energy.

You can only do your best, learn from experience and move on.

Some MNer's ideal practice isn't very practical... if mums of siblings waited until all DCs were the same age group for the same playframe to be supervised simultaneously, a lot of soft plays would go bankrupt as the younger sibling would never go between birth and the older sibling going to school wink

Catinthetwat Fri 12-Jul-19 22:53:24

It isn't ok to spoil someone else's time because of your own difficult situation I'm afraid. The other family went home because of your child's behaviour. That's not on.

You'll figure out things that work and things that don't, so don't worry. But don't do softplay again until you can manage it. And congratulations on your new baby.

BigRedLondonBus Fri 12-Jul-19 22:55:12


MilenaMay Fri 12-Jul-19 23:28:37

I think the other mum over reacted.

Really doesn't sound too bad and neither saw the second incident and the first was an accident!

The fact the these were the only issues shows they were really playing well together as 2 un(der)supervised young children!

MilenaMay Fri 12-Jul-19 23:33:19

I would return to this soft play if I were you. Only 2 children sounds ideal.

Pinktinker Fri 12-Jul-19 23:36:44

My brother was always huge for his age (6ft3 rugby player now so it never ended!), he also looked 4/5 at 2. This exact same thing happened when he was 2 in a softplay, I remember it vividly. The Mother actually screamed in his face though and my Mum went absolutely ballistic. My poor brother was devastated, it wasn’t his fault he looked so much older!

YANBU anyway, just wanted to say it’s happened before and likely will happen again. Your DS is tiny, he didn’t mean any harm and she shouldn’t have assumed he was older.

GoBrookeYourself Sat 13-Jul-19 08:28:23

@yourestandingonmyneck* snidey? What exactly did I say that was snidey? My point was that you put a blanket statement out that parents following their toddlers round a softplay area are ridiculous, which is exactly the kind of attitude I don’t like. You can’t put a blanket statement out because every child is different and, being the mum that does watch my toddler in the play area and intervene if I feel necessary, don’t appreciate the insinuation that people are watching and thinking I’m ridiculous for basic parenting.

Your comments were wholly unnecessary, when I explained that I was directing none of my post at the OP, who was in a completely different situation because her toddler was in the older area.

I actually think it’s your kind of comments that make mumsnet a vipersnest, calling the way the majority of parents of toddlers actually parent at softplay, ridiculous.

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