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... about daughter’s holiday clothes

(397 Posts)
Dippypippy1980 Fri 12-Jul-19 14:08:50

We got back from holidays a few days ago and I took my daughter to see her dad - not one of his days but she was very excited to tell him about the trip and show him some pictures (I did ring first😊).

His mum and sister were there, which was nice for my daughter. I had carefully selected photos which didn’t show my boyfriend - the snaps were either just of her or her with her cousins or my parents (I feature in very few holiday snaps!!). All went well - until granny announced that my daughter had some lovely holiday clothes, and her cousin would be able to use them on her holiday. She even pointed to several outfits saying won’t ‘polly’ look lovely in that!! Ex has a niece about six months older than my daughter.

Daughter gave me that panicked look, and I commented that I was sure she could borrow some of the swimming stuff (I am very careful about the sun so we had loads of rash vests) but that we would need the summer clothes for the summer. Granny laughed and said she was sure we could spare them for a couple of weeks and ‘children have to share’.

I am going to put together a small bundle - nothing daughter really loves and only a couple of dresses that she’s probably won’t wear at home. But I know they will think I am being mean. But really, they are her clothes (t-shirts, shorts, dresses, swim suits) for this summer. She has grown out of most of last years stuff and she can’t wear heavy winter clothes for two weeks? I should just ignore granny shouldn’t I??????

If it helps, due to a complicated back story, ex doesn’t pay child support and I buy all the clothes.

Alsohuman Fri 12-Jul-19 14:11:08

Of course you should ignore her. She’s the dictionary definition of a cheeky fucker. Don’t give them a stitch.

Drpeppered Fri 12-Jul-19 14:11:34

Who cares if they think you’re being mean? They are your daughters clothes. Just ignore

Chasingsquirrels Fri 12-Jul-19 14:12:06

Even without any complicated back story you should be ignoring this, they are her clothes.

The swim stuff maybe fair enough, if you wouldn't plan to swim in that time, but every day summer clothes? No way.

Herocomplex Fri 12-Jul-19 14:12:20

Nope. Why doesn’t granny put her hand in her pocket and buy her GC’s some things of their own if she’s so keen to interfere? I wouldn’t do it.

Treaclesweet Fri 12-Jul-19 14:12:58

Don't give them anything it will only encourage them. Unbelievably out of order!

ThePhoenixRises Fri 12-Jul-19 14:13:00

Please don't bundle up any of it.

Nicolastuffedone Fri 12-Jul-19 14:13:07

Not in a million years!!! She’d not get a hankie from me.

Seeline Fri 12-Jul-19 14:13:50

What a cheek!

I wouldn't be lending anything unless your DD could really risk being without. It will be for longer than 2 weeks by the time you've handed them over, and they've been washed and returned.

Is the cousin particularly hard up so clothes would be limited?

Chickychoccyegg Fri 12-Jul-19 14:13:57

completely ignore, children do not need to share they're new summer clothes, granny is a cf.

crustycrab Fri 12-Jul-19 14:14:42

Ignore. The Granny surely has no say in what Polly wears anyway. If you send a bundle of clothes her mum might be a bit hmm

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Fri 12-Jul-19 14:14:47

Yeah I think you need to stand firm on this. If she messages just
"Sorry if I wasn't all that clear when we last spoke, dd needs these clothes for the summer. They won't be available for anyone to borrow. Happy to recommend some shops if you want to buy any outfits for Poppy - we obviously have similar tastes, hope you are well".

Tequilamockinbird Fri 12-Jul-19 14:14:51

WTF? Ignore the CF.

PCohle Fri 12-Jul-19 14:14:51

God no. They're not her "holiday clothes" they're just her everyday, summer clothes that she happened to wear on holiday. So she actually wants the shirt off your child's back. No chance.

trackingmedown Fri 12-Jul-19 14:14:58

Granny should mind her own business. If there is stuff you genuinely don’t want let the cousin have it but not anything your daughter still wants or needs.

Hoppinggreen Fri 12-Jul-19 14:15:20

Give them nothing
It’s ok to pass on stuff that doesn’t fit or you dint want but choosing stuff from photos is very cheeky - they’re holiday snaps not a bloody catalogue!

DisplayPurposesOnly Fri 12-Jul-19 14:15:40

Granny can sod off. Don't even give this head space. Don't give them anything you don't genuinely mind giving them (and I mean genuinely, don't even give token bits to be nice if actually you do want them).

Teddybear45 Fri 12-Jul-19 14:15:43

Ignore the request completely. Your ex didn’t pay for those clothes, you did. Your MIL is effectively begging.

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis Fri 12-Jul-19 14:15:49

Nope from me too. Why would she give her summer clothes away during the summer confused?

Sirzy Fri 12-Jul-19 14:15:58

Don’t give her anything!

BuzzShitbagBobbly Fri 12-Jul-19 14:16:31

You send those clothes and you'll never see them again. Polly will have a lovely well-dressed summer though!

Teddybear45 Fri 12-Jul-19 14:16:46

You need to set a better example to your DD about speaking up. She looked to you for help but you’re just enabling the granny!

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross Fri 12-Jul-19 14:16:49

Honestly, why do people put up with this sort of stuff? Just ignore her! And if it gets mentioned again, laugh and say, "Why on earth would I pass on clothes that my daughter is still wearing? Once she's finished with them, they can be handed down to whoever needs them, but I'm sure you're not LITERALLY asking for the clothes off my child's back".

MyOpinionIsValid Fri 12-Jul-19 14:17:50

Nope - I wouldnt 'share' either. I t would be a different matter if she had out grown them and you had no use for them, but this si her actual wardrobe. Granny can sod off!

BabyMoonPie Fri 12-Jul-19 14:18:02

They are your daughter's clothes which she needs - she can't share! Tell granny where the lovely clothes came from and she can buy Polly her own

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