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To think DH should remember...

(444 Posts)
leopardandspots Thu 11-Jul-19 23:25:33

That DD's seven years at primary school finishes next Tuesday.

And that he should not have arranged to go out after work with his mate?

Oysterbabe Thu 11-Jul-19 23:55:25

Did you have something planned?

leopardandspots Fri 12-Jul-19 00:00:15

So what dates should family members remember then?

The majority seem to think the four days of starting and finishing primary and secondary school are fairly unimportant.

What about a new job?

Percypigparade Fri 12-Jul-19 00:00:26

Dont worry OP, it's just another man getting an easy ride on here, of course it's more important that he gets an afternoon out with his mate than that family spend a bit of time together to mark the passage from primary to secondary.

StVincent Fri 12-Jul-19 00:00:41

Well if that’s how things are in your family by common consent then YANBU. Different families have different traditions.

But as a compromise given that school probably finishes at 2-3pm and he won’t reasonably need to be at a night out til 7 at the earliest, can you all take her out for a special treat/tea together before he goes?

StreetwiseHercules Fri 12-Jul-19 00:01:39

“it's just another man getting an easy ride on here”

Yes, because there’s loads of that on this site. 😆

BackforGood Fri 12-Jul-19 00:02:45



There is no possible reason for you, or him to avoid normal activities, because it happens to be the day your dd breaks up. What an odd thing to think.

StVincent Fri 12-Jul-19 00:02:46

grin Streetwise

There was a special assembly on my last day. My parents couldn’t come (work) so I just said bye to the teachers then went back to a friend’s house I think. Really normal day!

New job - it’s nice if someone takes you out for a drink after a first day, but if they didn’t I wouldn’t mind.

Birthdays and Christmas are real celebrations <runs>

RosaWaiting Fri 12-Jul-19 00:02:55

percy I've got female friends who would struggle to tell me which day their DC are finishing primary school.

they certainly won't be doing anything extra to "mark the passage".

then again, we all mostly wonder why schools want to make everything a massive performance these days - though MN is the first any of us heard of a "prom".

StreetwiseHercules Fri 12-Jul-19 00:04:26

“So what dates should family members remember then? ”

Birthdays. Christmas. That’s it.

Percypigparade Fri 12-Jul-19 00:06:30

Our school leavers' assembly was stoked out with parents, I'm assuming at least some of them had to request time off work to be there.
There's a joylessness about celebrations sometimes on here. Reminds me of my mil somehow grin

leopardandspots Fri 12-Jul-19 00:06:37

His plans are to go out straight after work so wouldn't be home at all until after Dd is in bed.

I do wonder how he'd respond if I made plans and didn't see her at all on her first or last day of primary school. But hey ho.

PurpleDaisies Fri 12-Jul-19 00:06:52

It's like a rite of passage that she'll remember.

Is it? I don’t remember leaving primary school.

DaftHannah Fri 12-Jul-19 00:06:53

I remember both my kids last day at primary school. It was a big deal for them and quite emotional, same for last day at secondary school.

My DH was missing on all such occasions, also did not come to school parent's evenings or school plays, so I can understand how OP feels. Modern parents hope for Dads to be more involved, yet many men literally have no interest in their children. It is disappointing, but there you have it.

ReanimatedSGB Fri 12-Jul-19 00:07:47

It really depends on a) what you are expecting to do on this 'momentous' day - take her out for tea, attend a special ceremony at the school etc and b) whether you informed him of this, or discussed it with him.
(When DS finished primary school I did go and collect him, having let him come home by himself like a Big Boy for the rest of the final half-term, but that was at least partly to make sure he got a move on, as we were catching an early-evening train to a festival.)

StVincent Fri 12-Jul-19 00:09:12

OP out if interest, if it were your DP’s last day at his current job before a move, would you keep your DD at home for the evening instead of allowing her to a friend’s or Brownies etc?

ReanimatedSGB Fri 12-Jul-19 00:10:16

It sounds like you think he should just 'be there', in which case YABU and whiny. Your DD might well just want to have her tea, play with her toys, watch the telly or whatever, rather than discuss every detail of her feelings.

Percypigparade Fri 12-Jul-19 00:11:08

Rosa how does anyone not know when their dc's term finishes? Are they at boarding school? At the very least you need to know they are not heading off to school in the morning!
I'd have to say, the "hoo ha" did not come from the school but from parents. Not going mad does not mean you can't mark the bloody occasion.

BackforGood Fri 12-Jul-19 00:11:10

But Percy, the OP isn't complaining about him not being able to get to some performance, she just seems to think that the evening should be cancelled, because is happens 4 (?) hours after the end of the school day hat happens to be the end of term. He isn't missing any sort of event or performance or concert or celebration.

Percypigparade Fri 12-Jul-19 00:15:34

He won't see her as he is out with his mate. So no family dinner/how did it go/anything out of the ordinary.
I think he could have been more thoughtful.

Bookworm4 Fri 12-Jul-19 00:17:14

Jesus wept, really?
The last day of primary my youngest and her friends did their shirt signing, then went to a cafe themselves then meandered home. It’s not a big deal, @Iamnotagoddess fully agree; all these pretentious ‘occasions’ people need to get a grip.

RosaWaiting Fri 12-Jul-19 00:19:29

Percy their husbands will know the term dates etc

SpaceCadet4000 Fri 12-Jul-19 00:20:13

If you had a specific plan then he would be unreasonable, but you're not saying that you do so YABU. If you want to do something come up with a plan and talk to him about it instead of stewing on Mumsnet.

rebecca102 Fri 12-Jul-19 00:23:12

I agree, poor form. That day happens once, he's got plenty of other times he can go out.

Contraceptionismyfriend Fri 12-Jul-19 00:23:28

This can not be serious. Nobody is raising a child to be this ridiculous.

monsieurmarius Fri 12-Jul-19 00:23:51

Definitely can't remember my last day at any of my schools but especially not my primary. I have a very good memory.

My dad definitely had no idea when I left primary school because he had other things going on and really it wasnt important in the grand scheme of things.

Sorry, I think you're being a bit precious.

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