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to feel uncomfortable (mixed sex accommodation)

(194 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Chochito Thu 11-Jul-19 22:37:40

I'm on a work project for a month with 9 colleagues from different parts of the company. I knew one of them before as I worked with him on a 6 week project last year. I don't know any of the others.

We are all staying in university halls of residence style accommodation. The building is usually only occupied by men but as we have it for private use we have the women staying on the 1st floor rooms and the men staying ion the ground floor. There are 3 women and 8 men on the project.

Some of our clients are also here and staying in the same accommodation. There are 3 women and 4 men. The female clients are staying on the 1st floor and the male clients on the ground floor.

The clients have en suite rooms, but 9 out of the 11 workers share communal bathrooms (shower cubicles, toilet cubicles). There is also a communal kitchen, on the ground floor, which can be accessed by the corridor with the men's bedrooms or by another door from the outside of the building.

Everyone has access to all parts of the building apart from people's bedrooms and there are no doors apart from to bedrooms, bathrooms, and kitchen.

2 of my colleagues are married (man and woman) and have been given an en-suite room on the first floor.

Is this odd or am I overreacting?

Chochito Thu 11-Jul-19 22:53:51

stucknoue I don't want en suite, I just find it weird that I have to share the showers and toilets with men, who are my colleagues, especially after they have gone to the trouble of separating our bedrooms onto different floors.

Purpleartichoke Thu 11-Jul-19 22:56:08

if The man on your floor is not allowed access to the bathroom, then that aspect doesn’t bother me.

I am very concerned that the showers are not private. They are expecting you to shower in front of co-workers? That is crazy, regardless of sex.

EllenEyewater Thu 11-Jul-19 22:56:17

Are there bathrooms on each floor or is there one bathroom that everyone who doesn’t have an en suite shares?

MyDcAreMarvel Thu 11-Jul-19 22:57:09

The showers are just in a big row and unisex? Really?

Iltavilli Thu 11-Jul-19 22:59:09

In my first week at a start up, we stayed in dorm rooms at a youth hostel. Women in one room, men (over the corridor) in another, but we were total strangers.

YABVU

CherryPavlova Thu 11-Jul-19 22:59:44

Which university halls still has communal showers without doors? Seems somewhat odd if you are suggesting this is U.K. - even in single sex accommodation.

Ontheboardwalk Thu 11-Jul-19 23:00:59

I’m not understanding the shower situation.

Are you saying it’s one big open shower that you all walk into?

Chochito Thu 11-Jul-19 23:01:25

Purpleartichoke Everyone has access to the bathroom and toilets.

The individuals with en suites (the clients) don't use the communal bathroom or toilets, but the couple with an ensuite do as they want to shower / shit at the same time as each other (e.g. before we go out for a dinner, etc.)

User8888888 Thu 11-Jul-19 23:01:37

I wouldn’t like that I. I wouldn’t expect communal showers for work accommodation. I don’t think you are unreasonable given the set-up you describe. I’ve stayed in university accommodation for conferences or training but it has always been en-suite.

Chochito Thu 11-Jul-19 23:01:53

EllenEyewater Yes, one bathroom for everyone.

Chochito Thu 11-Jul-19 23:02:53

CherryPavlova
It's not an actual university, but it's that style of accommodation.

Chochito Thu 11-Jul-19 23:04:03

Ontheboardwalk
Are you saying it’s one big open shower that you all walk into?

Yes, like at the gym or a swimming pool.

LaurieFairyCake Thu 11-Jul-19 23:04:24

You can't possibly be expected to shower in a communal OPEN shower in front of women and men!

It's not prison !

I'd have just moved into a hotel by now

Chochito Thu 11-Jul-19 23:05:12

Sorry, just realised I made a crucial typo in my OP which has confused everyone.

The toilets are like standard toilets in an office or pub etc. with one room and then various cubicles, and then the basins and hand dryer in a communal area.

The showers do NOT have cubicles, it's a communal shower like at the gym.

Datun Thu 11-Jul-19 23:05:23

But do you all use the bathroom at the same time?

Chochito Thu 11-Jul-19 23:06:16

LaurieFairyCake I can't afford a hotel and I don't think there are many around here (hence work giving us this accommodation - in many other ways it's quite luxurious so I don't think it's that cheap).

I have been showering at 4.45am.

Chochito Thu 11-Jul-19 23:07:27

Datun Most people want to shower at the same time because we will come back from meetings at the same time then say have an hour's turnaround time until dinner, for example. And in the morning's we start our meetings at the same time so most people will want to get up at a similar time and shower then.

Chochito Thu 11-Jul-19 23:07:38

*mornings

leasedaudi Thu 11-Jul-19 23:07:53

What the hell is this place? Are you on a mining site in Australia? Sounds bloody horrific.

EllenEyewater Thu 11-Jul-19 23:08:12

OK, I’ve changed my mind and YANBU if it’s one bathroom for everyone and communal mixed sex showers. Think the couple are a bit of a red herring, though, as presumably even if they weren’t there you’d still be having to share bathroom facilities with your male colleagues, from your description.

lyralalala Thu 11-Jul-19 23:08:56

Communal showers is unacceptable for a work trip.

At the very least one set of showers should be designated as female and one male. Anyone going in the ‘wrong’ one should face the sack.

JaniceBattersby Thu 11-Jul-19 23:09:28

There is no way on God’s green earth that it is acceptable for anyone to have to shower in front of colleagues, and especially not colleagues of different sexes.

I’d just go home and put in a massive fucking complaint to work.

Flashingsilver Thu 11-Jul-19 23:09:29

I would check out, and move into a budget hotel. Or a decent hotel.

I couldn’t live like this..people walking into showers ..ugh

Move out. Let work know, but move out, it’s unacceptable.

We used to have to book hotels from an approved list, with my old employer, do this if you can.
Regardless of whether the firm will foot the bill, I’d leave this place and get a cheap hotel.

steff13 Thu 11-Jul-19 23:09:32

So you and your coworkers are expected to all line up naked in the shower together like in prison? That's not acceptable.

Letthemysterybe Thu 11-Jul-19 23:10:00

One big all together sharing shower is very odd. Has anyone showered together? So weird.

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