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To think ‘Really?’ when a work colleague takes time off with her sick DDs.

(283 Posts)
ElphabaTheGreen Thu 11-Jul-19 07:41:40

To be clear - I have no intention of mentioning/doing anything about this IRL, and I am very willing to accept I’m BU. I mainly just want to gauge if my scepticism is justified in any way.

A work colleague has two DDs, 15 and 17 - no special needs, no long-term health conditions, both in mainstream schooling, older one learning to drive. Whenever either of them is off school with a minor illness - heavy cold, stomach bug - she calls in to claim emergency carer’s leave and takes the day off with them, sometimes two days. This happens once every two or three months, with either girl, not just one in particular, so we have to pick up her work.

Now my DCs are only 7 and almost 5, but I was very much hoping that by the time they’re in high school, I’ll be able to confirm they can access the loo, food and fluids, then leave them at home by themselves and not pass my workload to my colleagues and make it into work. My mum did this with me from the age of 12 possibly even younger

AIBU to think 15 and 17 year olds are old enough to look after themselves when they’re a bit unwell, or is this one of those parental care things that has changed since I was a teenager? Or is it a ‘depends on the child’ thing?

YouDoYou18 Sat 13-Jul-19 11:27:27

I came here to totally say that YABU.... be no, no you’re not. At that age they’re more than capable of looking after themselves. (Unless seriously ill or something along those lines of course!)

celticprincess Sat 13-Jul-19 21:58:01

Wow. My work doesn’t really pay for parental leave other than day 1 if their illness and then expected to find alternative care for child. If they have an appointment it’s unpaid leave. My child is under a few specialists and I try and organise appointments for my days off as I am part time but if the ‘clinic’ is only on a work day I take it unpaid. My oldest is 9 and youngest is 6 and I have never taken a day off for them being sick. They generally don’t stay off ill other than chickenpox and D&V and those seem to happen over the holidays for us or on my days off/ dad’s days off. Fingers crossed for future. Their attendance is 99% though.

stucknoue Sat 13-Jul-19 22:14:41

Yanbu can't remember the last time I took time off for mine. I've dashed out and fetched them on occasion and dropped them home (small city) before returning to work. But I'm of the take a lemsip and go to work school of thought, it's been 5 or more years since I've been off sick, I do have my own office and work alone though so keep my germs to myself!

stucknoue Sat 13-Jul-19 22:18:03

Ps my dd is autistic and she is foul when she's sick, I stay well out of her way! Even the dog gives her a wide berth (nb I know autism is a spectrum, dd is highish functioning and adult)

mullyluo Sat 13-Jul-19 22:54:56

Wow, wish I worked were you do, when my 1 year old was in hospital with a oxygen mask for 4 day I had to take it as annual leave and that was a NHs job.

ellesworth Sun 14-Jul-19 11:27:02

YANBU. I remember being in secondary school on Sept 11th and being sent home sick with cold/flu symptoms. This was 2001 so I'd have been 15 and a half. Teacher phoned my mum who told them that I only lived two minutes up the road and I could walk up and let myself in with my key. I lay on the couch til she came home at 5. So yes she is taking the piss.

serenadoundy Sun 14-Jul-19 11:36:37


Quite bizarrely that's the one date in history I would expect no parent or teacher to allow children to go home on their own!

ellesworth Sun 14-Jul-19 11:41:08

It was quite early on in the day so it hadn't happened yet

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