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Upset at seating at Brothers wedding

(308 Posts)
Starlight30 Tue 09-Jul-19 23:36:18

My brother recently got married and we have always been quite close and I am his only sister and youngest in the family. However, I was gutted when I found that myself and my husband were seated at the very back on the room isolated from my family and sitting with the brides work colleagues. Maybe I am being unreasonable, but I found this quite upsetting as the rest of my family(aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents etc) were seated at tables at the front of the room and my brothers and parents at the top table. I naturally assumed that I would be seated with my family. I was even more mortified when one of the guests at my table asked me how I knew the bride and groom. When I said I was the grooms sister the guests response was "oh dear, you must be in the bad books. Aren't family supposed to sit at the front?". Until this point I had managed to keep my self composed, but after that comment I fled to the bathrooms and broke down in tears. I ended up leaving early as I was so upset. I also couldn't help but feel a sense of anger and hurt at my brother and his wife for not advising me beforehand that I would be separated from the rest of my family. Am I right to be upset at this or am I being over sensitive?

Motoko Sat 13-Jul-19 11:30:11

I asked earlier if it was normal for a man not to be involved, because he's the one who knows his side of the guests, and who should be put together, or not.

DH and I both worked on ours.

lynfordthecrab Sun 14-Jul-19 20:59:51

This is why for my 1st wedding I had no seating plan. Everyone could sit where they damn well liked! The top table had bride/groom/Best man and bridesmaids only due to split parents on hubbys side. Worked wonderfully no one got upset. 2nd wedding - we decided we didnt want to invite loads of people we felt we had to but didnt really want so we didnt invite anyone. There was 6 of us! It was amazing. My daughters upcoming wedding she has already decided that her father who has had very little input in her life but she feels inviting him is the right thing to do will be relegated to the darkest corner by the loos!

MrsGeneGenie Sun 14-Jul-19 22:47:31

Is it just me, but why ask for advice if you’re not going to act on it or at the very least have the decency to acknowledge the responses you’ve had and just drop a line to let us know what you’re going to do, even if it’s nothing , just don’t leave us in the dark

ViserionTheDragon Sun 14-Jul-19 23:08:21

I agree, seems like OP won't be back...confused

Motoko Mon 15-Jul-19 02:08:45

Yep, I agree too. It's fucking rude to all those people who have taken time to give advice.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Mon 15-Jul-19 02:13:32

Well, in this particular case (but not all) the OP was handed her arse quite early on by people thinking she was a precious snowflake for wanting to be acknowledged as part of her brother's family, rather than some random work person - so if she's quite young, she probably fled rather than read more of said "robust" (fucking rude) responses.

I know at a young age I would have hidden the thread rather than come back and fight my corner.

SnuggyBuggy Mon 15-Jul-19 07:20:29

I love an OP who comes back fighting. People who leave nasty comments always seem to be the ones that get most offended when they get nasty comments back grin

AutumnCrow Mon 15-Jul-19 07:29:33

Remember, other people's weddings aren't about you

Does that mean we don't have to go to the bloody awful things, then?

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