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Secondhand Birthday Presents

(94 Posts)
musicinthewoods Tue 18-Jun-19 20:14:11

Interested in mumsnet opinions as RL friend think I a BVVVVU.

DD2 is 2 next month and I've seen a play kitchen on FB marketplace that would be perfect for her- it's £30 and retails around £150 brand new.

My friends think it's totally fine to buy secondhand but not for birthdays/Xmas and that I'm tight.

Full disclosure I am the highest earner of my friendship group and they know this (not a stealth boast- we're good friends for a long time and they've seen my career progress!). I could easily afford the £150 but I don't see the point when the £30 is just as good and the brand new one will be exactly the same after a week of play! 🤷🏻‍♀️plus, she's 2 so wouldn't know (my 11 year old would probably leave home over a second hand birthday present 🙄).

So, AIBU?

P.S I will be the poster that continues to think they are not unreasonable even if you all tell me I am 🤫

ILoveEurovision Thu 20-Jun-19 09:20:11

YANBU. My parents bought be a second hand My Little Pony house when I was 5 I think. I didn't realise it wasn't new. I just loved it smile

MaximusHeadroom Thu 20-Jun-19 09:15:26

YANBU

At my DD's birthday last year, one of her older friends gave her one of her toys she knew my DD loved and she didn't play with anymore.

It has been DD's favourite toy since and she loves it all the more because it was special to her friend too.

For me it was a beautiful thing to say here is something which made me happy, I want it to make you happy too. So much more special than her mum quickly grabbing something just to have a gift to give.

That was obviously an exceptional situation but for me it was really lovely.

I think giving pre-loved things teaches kids the real value of something and the idea that we have a right to have everything new is a relatively recent development and one which has proven catastrophic to the planet.

SoundofSilence Thu 20-Jun-19 09:05:55

The second hand bike I bought DS2 is his most treasured possession.

vampirethriller Thu 20-Jun-19 07:57:56

Perfectly reasonable. All my daughter's toys are second hand, she doesn't know and doesn't care. I just give them a going over with the Dettol before she gets them.

CIT80 Thu 20-Jun-19 07:50:33

Absolutely fine I have done this on plenty of occasions and even at Christmas last year we had a chance of a second hand iPad mini for my 15 year old so we asked him if he would rather that or a new one and he opted for second hand as he said once it’s been used for a day it’s not new anyway is it 👍
Also my 3 children all had the same present for their 1st birthday I just re-wrapped it each year and by my 3rd the older two fondly said oh remember we used to have one of them !!

KinderSurpriseBump Thu 20-Jun-19 07:47:00

I have no problem in buying second hand toys for my kids as presents if they're in good condition. I bought a second hand little tikes cosy coupe as one of the christmas presents and a Melissa and Doug builders bench as a birthday present. All great and wouldn't make any difference to my children if they were brand new.

bogie Thu 20-Jun-19 07:46:07

I got away with buying second hand things for birthdays and Christmas until they were 8-9!
I think it’s crazy to spend £150 when you can spend £30 on a two year old that really wouldn’t even know if it was new or not!

Laurenk474 Wed 19-Jun-19 22:48:43

I earn a good wage and buy second hand when I can find what I'm looking for. I can easily afford the full price. My family are always making comments it's disgusting etc which do get to me, but why waste money when you don't need to. They don't know the difference when they are young.

I'd much rather spend the spare money on food for my child and keeping a roof over their head. I've found it's best just not to tell people to be honest to save the hassle.

Sierra259 Wed 19-Jun-19 18:28:18

YANBU. Better for the planet and better for your wallet! Most of my youngest's Paw Patrol toys are second hand - she's had great use out of them, would never know the difference and hopefully we'll be able to pass a lot of them on again when she's done with them.

CameraTime Wed 19-Jun-19 15:18:35

@imagrumpalo For DS' first Christmas we didn't even bother with hand-me-downs - just filled a Santa sack with his existing toys! We did add a few new clothes etc, but he had a great time putting his teddies in the sack, taking them out again, putting them in...

kierenthecommunity Wed 19-Jun-19 14:04:07

My soon to be seven year old is getting some second hands stuff for his birthday. Some games, books and a marble run. That’s based on environmental reasoning personally although the savings don’t upset me either grin

pegspurplecat Wed 19-Jun-19 10:52:59

YANBU. I bought a second hand wooden kitchen with tons of accessories for DC. If I'd bought new I would have just got the kitchen and it would have been a bit boring. As it was DC loved it and they weren't even aware it wasn't new.

ethelfleda Wed 19-Jun-19 10:48:16

YANBU at all. Much better for the planet to not keep buying more new crap anyway! I always try to buy second hand when we can.

MissB83 Wed 19-Jun-19 10:41:59

Then again, I'm a single mum and probably half his clothes, toys, books (or more) were bought at nearly new sales/charity shops/FB marketplace, including buggies, high chairs, baby gyms etc... the only things I would be definite about getting new are car seats and cot mattresses.

MissB83 Wed 19-Jun-19 10:40:06

I bought two second hand high value gifts for DS before for birthday/Xmas. This stuff doesn't get used enough before they get too big for it. I think you're being thrifty! Just make sure you give it a good wipe over and clean once you get it.

MereDintofPandiculation Wed 19-Jun-19 10:38:37

My 10 year old got gerbils for his birthday. They weren't second hand (obviously) Yes, they were second hand, unless you bred them yourself ;-)

IhaveALooBrush Wed 19-Jun-19 10:14:02

Buy secondhand.
I still buy secondhand for dd6. She doesn't care.

HariboLectar Wed 19-Jun-19 10:04:25

I'm sure they will love it and certainly won't care that it's second hand smile

DonkeyHohtay Wed 19-Jun-19 10:01:24

Second hand is AMAZING. I am a massive fan and we've bought similar for our kids.

My 10 year old got gerbils for his birthday. They weren't second hand (obviously) but I picked up a massive all-singing, all-dancing gerbilarium tank thing with a crate of toys and other bits and pieces for £30 on Gumtree. We're not short of cash and could have spend the £150 on a new one if we wanted to.

But it's all about not contributing tot he mountains of "stuff" which is drowning the planet.

Happyspud Wed 19-Jun-19 09:57:00

YANBU.

WanderingTrolley1 Wed 19-Jun-19 09:50:11

I wouldn’t even hesitate in buying it!

EdtheBear Wed 19-Jun-19 09:47:38

I'm not sure if I'd be brave enough to buy second hand for someone else's child

I'm certainly not brave enough to do that! But then I wouldn't be buying other people's children massively expensive toys new or second hand. For other people's kids i tend to work to a budget regardless if i buy in sales or not.

imagrumpalo Wed 19-Jun-19 09:47:23

@nokidshere * For my second child's first 2 Christmas's and birthdays I just wrapped something his brother had grown out of.*

This is genius!!! Why haven't I thought of this.

Kids literally don't care op. I think it's just some grown ups that do.

Sofasurfingsally Wed 19-Jun-19 09:40:56

Buy it. Friend is being ridiculous.

CripsSandwiches Wed 19-Jun-19 09:29:00

YANBU. Much better for the environment and a 2 year old will be excited for their new kitchen and won't care whether it's second hand or not. I often bought DC second hand stuff for Christmas and Birthdays they never cared.

I'm not sure if I'd be brave enough to buy second hand for someone else's child (I once saw a gift second hand that would be perfect for Dfriend's son but though she might be offended so bought a little brand new gift to go with it too - she was fine with it and was touched because it was something personal and just right for him rather than the first thing off the shelf at the toy shop).

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