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To wonder why people have children when they clearly put their career first, by having a 24hr maternity nurse from day one and a full-time nanny from 3 months?

(1006 Posts)
gogetter Tue 24-Jul-07 17:54:03

Call me old fashioned but why bother when you are going to see your child for maybe an hour a day on weekdays?
It's not financially needed for mum to return to work (far from) so why leave your teeny weeny baby with a nanny during the most amazing time of their lifes?

A bit strange I fear!

NotReallyHereHunker Tue 24-Jul-07 17:54:35

Are you being specific?

gogetter Tue 24-Jul-07 17:55:18

yes if you mean I do know a family who are doing this as we speak.......

americantrish Tue 24-Jul-07 17:55:36

to each their own, i think you're being rather judgemental to the way another person wishes to carry on with their life at this point.

Ladymuck Tue 24-Jul-07 17:56:05

Some people find babies (even their own) quite boring. I was bored witless by 6 months, but once ds1 became a toddler foudn him far more interesting. Would be boring if everyone felt the same.

NotReallyHereHunker Tue 24-Jul-07 17:56:09

I think there are some who don't find a 3mo "the most amazing time".

NotReallyHereHunker Tue 24-Jul-07 17:56:48

How do you know it's not financially needed?

And why is returning to work solely about finances?

Heaven forbid a woman should want anything other than baby sick and nappies from her life...

NotReallyHereHunker Tue 24-Jul-07 17:57:09

Crap, I worded that very badly...!

gogetter Tue 24-Jul-07 17:57:35

But they will not be with their child even when they are a toddler - the nanny will be witnessing all the fun stuff?

NotReallyHereHunker Tue 24-Jul-07 17:58:17

So what?

Why does it bother you do much?

expatinscotland Tue 24-Jul-07 17:58:34

It's not financially needed for mum to work?

Where are you living?

Because here on Planet Reality, most mothers who work do so out of necessity.

So what if other families do this?

Tehy're supporting themselves honestly.

gogetter Tue 24-Jul-07 17:59:11

Oh I agree mum's need adult stimualtion or stimulation from work, but to go back 5 days -9am - 6am straight up seems a bit harsh.

Leati Tue 24-Jul-07 17:59:35


I actually see your point, I know people who have kids and rarely see them. Here is my question though...alot of men work crazy hours. Is there a different standard for men then women?

foxinsocks Tue 24-Jul-07 18:00:21

I went back full time when dd was 4 months. Actually, I would have killed for a maternity nurse but I didn't earn enough at the time .

MadamePlatypus Tue 24-Jul-07 18:00:55

I don't know - its not very common so I am not too worried about it. On the other hand, I am glad that women as well as men have high powered jobs, and I accept that women as well as men may not want to give up their job when they have children. I would hate to live in a society where any woman who wanted to be an MP (for instance) had to forfeit her right to have children. People manage their lives in different ways.

I think you are old fashioned for saying "It's not financially needed for mum to return to work" - what about Dad?

Now where's Xenia?

gogetter Tue 24-Jul-07 18:00:57

Sorry stimulation! I just wondered if my opinion was shared.
It's quite obvious they are nowhere near struggling - I think mums should be with their infants or dads a little for than 30 hrs a week.......

americantrish Tue 24-Jul-07 18:01:24

i wonder how this mom who is being judged so much would feel if she knew

wildwoman Tue 24-Jul-07 18:01:33

I feel the same as you to an extent gogetter, but it is only my view iyswim so has absolutley no bearing on how anyone elsewishes to live their lives

maveta Tue 24-Jul-07 18:03:04

I know someone who is planning exactly this. She wants kids but is also the main breadwinner in her relationship. She wants to give her kids a certain standard of living and in fact hopes to retire early so by working hard and having help with their care while they´re young she will have lots of time with them when they´re older. In theory.

Personally? I would not make her choices, my dad worked away from home a LOT when I was a kid and given the choice, we all would have chosen time with him over any material benefits his job brought. But I´m not her. No doubt she would not make my choices either.

Pan Tue 24-Jul-07 18:03:09


gogetter Tue 24-Jul-07 18:04:00

I'm sure there a more than just one family who are doing this. I think it would be cool if parents could both go back 4 days and the baby have 3 days with nanny and the rest with parent.

I think maternity nurses are great I'm just wondering if going from full-time maternity nurse to full-time nanny is allowing the child much bonding time with mum and dad.

Of course each to their own.

Leati Tue 24-Jul-07 18:08:13

My gorgeous little girl just woke up and she has a bright smile on her face. She is wearing her cat pajamas and there is nothing boring about her. Oh and she just brought me the phone and gave me a big kiss. She is 18 months.

However, I have to defend a woman's right to pursue her career. The hours a person works doesn't change the love they have for their baby.

NotReallyHereHunker Tue 24-Jul-07 18:10:11

Leati, my DS2 is the same age - cute, isn't it!

I work full time, sometimes 50 hours a week.

I don't have a maternity nurse or a nanny though.

FillydoraTonks Tue 24-Jul-07 18:13:55

did not go back after baby #2 was born but my god i would have liked a materinity nurse

I think the question re fathers is very valid. Men have worked crazy hours for YEARS. Yet this is frequently seen as a Good Thing.

No I wouldn't do this, I don't need to financially, and am quite capable of finding intellectual stimulation outwith the world of work. But no point judging those who do, everyone is different.

eleusis Tue 24-Jul-07 18:14:39

Yeah, and in what world does working 4 days a week not stagnate your career.

From Leati:
"Here is my question though...alot of men work crazy hours. Is there a different standard for men then women? "

Answer her please. Is it okay if I have a penis, but not if I have boobies?

PS Hi Leati. Sorry about being nasty to you on your thread last week.

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