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Turning down job because of location?

(194 Posts)
allpanicnodisco2 Thu 13-Jun-19 12:43:26


Just looking for some insight because I’m really tearing my hair out over this.

I’m about to graduate and have been offered a job. It’s a really good one, it was a very competitive application process and will offer excellent training and professional qualifications. It would cost a lot of money to go through another route to get the same qualifications. I’m also really passionate about the work, which doesn’t happen a lot with first time grad jobs!

However, they can put you anywhere in the country, and I’m really unhappy where they’ve put me. I had my heart set on being in a big city and while it’s only around half an hour/40 minutes outside of the city, I will probably have to live at home with my parents as I will not be able to afford to rent in the city and commute out. This means around at least an hour and a half commute per day, in the car as there’s no public transport (I also hate driving). Social life is not massively important but I can’t see how I’d have a social life at all if I had to do this, I don’t know anyone where my parents live (which is mostly older people) or the town I’d work in. It’s also really not a nice place which in itself is not a problem but just adds to not really looking forward about doing the job.

It seems crazy to turn down a job because I don’t like where it is, and while I’m going to graduate with a good degree and a fair amount of work experience I don’t have any other offers at the moment. I also cannot leave the job for at least a year (complicated reasons). Should I just suck it up and do it for a year, or turn it down and look for something else?


Teddybear45 Thu 13-Jun-19 12:45:22

Most top graduate jobs are outside of major cities now. You haven’t mentioned your industry but within some areas of Finance the best grad jobs are often in Reading / South East / Brighton / Wales instead of London or Birmingham.

StCharlotte Thu 13-Jun-19 12:49:04

I wold suck it up for a year. I'm guessing you can put in for a transfer at some point?

Or is it worthwhile asking them for somewhere else, whilst acknowledging that (a) you were aware and accept that they can send you anywhere and (b) they might say no.

RosaWaiting Thu 13-Jun-19 12:50:21

90 mins commute is grim, I did it for years and much as people say "you will get used to it", that doesn't stop it being grim.

to me it depends really - how likely are you to get a different job? Could you grit your teeth and say "I will do this for two years" or something?

ComeBackBarack Thu 13-Jun-19 12:50:41

Suck it up for a year, save lots of money, and you'll be able to put a deposit down on a nice rental in a year's time somewhere entirely different.

PlanBea Thu 13-Jun-19 12:51:01

Why can you not rent in the town you'd be working in? That should save you the stress of commuting, and you can visit friends/parents on random evenings or weekends. If you can make it work for a few years to get the qualifications it seems like a good step. If you could have been anywhere in the country, half an hour away from family doesn't seem like a bad deal!

wellhonestly Thu 13-Jun-19 12:51:51

How long would it be until you were able to move to another base?Could you live close to your work location - presumably more cheaply - and travel into the city for socialising? I have found living in a small town has made it easier for me to meet people than in the city - but you have to have definite interests to pin it on (I do a lot of music). Are you likely to meet people through work?

Villanellesproudmum Thu 13-Jun-19 12:52:35

Suck it up for the long term gain.

mussolini9 Thu 13-Jun-19 12:53:23

If this job is genuinely such a vital stepping-stone, then sure - "suck it up for a year". View it as an extension of your studies. If the job is as intense as you suspect, i.e. you won;t have time for a social life anyway, then take the chance to live with your folks: if this means you can also save money for 12 months then that's another bonus.

The alternative is that you spend several years elsewhere just in order to reach the same level. If you accept, you can also tell your new bosses that you are keen to move on geographically, but prepared to manage being at the proposed location by staying with your parents so that you can afford a car for the long commute for the 1st year. Sound out their reaction to that.

The year will go by faster than you think. Go with the passion!

museumum Thu 13-Jun-19 12:54:17

I hate driving too. Can you not at all afford to rent near work? Even if it's not a place you'd choose to live it's only a year or so and only 30/40mins into the city at weekends etc.

Oct18mummy Thu 13-Jun-19 12:54:24

It sounds an amazing opportunity, if you are studying etc plus working you won’t have a social life anyway (talking from experience) so perhaps living somewhere with no distractions will be better. You won’t be stuck their forever and you can ask to transfer or leave and find a new job once you have your qualifications and many doors will open for you. Good luck

Marmighty Thu 13-Jun-19 12:55:13

Couldn't you rent where you're going to work? Or rent a room during the week only - some people would love a week-time lodger and you might be able to stay somewhere nice on this basis. You wouldn't save as much but wouldn't have the commute. It may also.mean you're able to be more visible at work in terms of hours which is no bad thing for your first year. Will the work always be at this site or is it something that will have you going out to clients across the region? I would put up with it for a year for the sake of getting your career going.

Oct18mummy Thu 13-Jun-19 12:55:18


PopWentTheWeasel Thu 13-Jun-19 12:55:22

Suck it up - see it as a stepping stone to something else. In time, when you can afford your own place, rent will be cheaper than in a city centre. If the job really is all you say it is, you'd be mad to turn it down.

Once you have that experience, look for a city based job for your next step.

elastamum Thu 13-Jun-19 12:57:15

Welcome to the world of work! Take the job, get the experience and in two years time you will have really marketable skills and be much more able to pick and choose your next role. I have a 90 minute each way commute - it is doable.

PutTheBassInYourWalk Thu 13-Jun-19 12:57:23

Is it Teach First or Front Line?

If so, I think they normally try to place people near their family for emotional and practical support, which you might need more than you think (cooked meals / clean house / washing done / no inconsiderate flatmates is bliss when you're first in this kind of full on role).

I'd live with your parents for a year and then look to move when you're a bit more settled with the job, hopefully get a bit of a pay rise etc. I lived in big city and commuted out for eight years - it was great.

If you are really, really, really unhappy then speak to the recruitment/placement team about a possible move.

soundsystem Thu 13-Jun-19 12:58:23

I'd suck it up for a year and then move. Depending on your field you may find you get more opportunities in a location no-one wants to be in, and are able to progress faster after that.

My sister did similar and took up a post-grad training place (law) at the arse end of nowhere somewhere not particularly appealing. She was given a lot of responsibility/opportunities that those in bigger offices didn't necessarily get, and after two years has a permanent job in the big city she wants to settle in. she beat off stiff competition for her current role, and one of the things that swung it for her was being known as someone who gets stuck in and can handle complex bits of work without someone to hold her hand. So it worked for her!

Good luck whatever you decide

MorondelaFrontera Thu 13-Jun-19 12:58:48

In your circumstances, yes, you would be absolutely mad to turn it down.

At worst, the commute is long but not longer than many people - and with children to look after. It's not an outrageous one.

You could try to find a spare room to rent, not a flat, and spend a couple of nights a week in your work town - with flexibility to stay other nights if you are going out. You would feel less pressure to work on the clock, could join a gym.

Even if you only do that for a year and start looking elsewhere, you will be in such a better position, experience and already holding a job that
will allow you to be picky for the next one.

Make the most of being young, free of children and/or a mortgage and go for it. You can start a social life with people from work. Even in a big city, you don't have that much time to meet people outside when you work full time let's be honest

Di11y Thu 13-Jun-19 12:59:20

suck it up and look to rent a room close to work.

DinkyTie Thu 13-Jun-19 13:00:21

I was already to yanbu but actually, having read your post, yabu!

You need to take this opportunity and you'll reap the rewards later.

PeoniesarePink Thu 13-Jun-19 13:00:29

Look for a house share or a lodgers room, it would be the commute that would put me off the most. I'd suck it up if it meant greater opportunities in the long run.

MorondelaFrontera Thu 13-Jun-19 13:00:48

which you might need more than you think (cooked meals / clean house / washing done / no inconsiderate flatmates is bliss when you're first in this kind of full on role).

grin grin grin

The OP is about to start a JOB if she is mature enough for that, I am sure she can hoover her own place or make herself some food. Who needs mummy and daddy to take care of them when they are old enough to go to uni?!?

Singingcricket Thu 13-Jun-19 13:02:12

First time opportunities are never perfect or ideal. They are a stepping stone up the ladder. I would put up with it for a year or so and try and rent a room in a shared house close to work initially. Good graduate opportunities are hard to come by.
Once there, you can put energy in to trying and creating some social life for yourself (start a club related to something you are interested in) or use it as an opportunity to exercise in your free time and get really fit or something! Good luck!

PutTheBassInYourWalk Thu 13-Jun-19 13:04:11


It's not about NEED. Teach First and Front Line are incredibly demanding programmes, emotionally, mentally and physically. It is easier to deal with this if you don't also have to worry about all of the mundane things I listed. I'm not saying it's not possible (I did it myself and know lots of trainees who do), but I know from lots of experience that the trainees who live with/near their parents generally have a slightly easier time.

IwantedtobeEmmaPeel Thu 13-Jun-19 13:05:15

This means around at least an hour and a half commute per day, in the car as there’s no public transport. Do you mean each way or in total, because 45 mins each way commuting is nothing. If you can save money by living with your parents and have a total commute time of 90 mins per day then I would suck it up for a year if the job is really that good and will lead to good opportunities. If your commute time is going to be a total of 180 mins daily I would look at renting in the town where the job is.

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