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Sister annoyed as new DD name too similar to her DD

(291 Posts)
Cantfindaname123 Wed 12-Jun-19 16:52:06

DN is 5. I barely see Dsis and DN as we live quite far away (think 4 hour drive), so we only really see each other at christmases, weddings and finerals. DN is named Isabella.

Our DD (2 months) is called Arabella. I was aware that it is quite similar but nobody owns a name, it isn't even the same name anyway, and we barely see each other.
When we announced name Dsis was quite upset, we 'stole her child's name' etc.

It has now been almost 3 months and Dsis is still not talking to me, she's got DM on her side, DM keeps telling me how much I've upset my sister, and couldn't I have picked a different name blah blah.

AIBU to say I can call DD what I like, it isn't even the same name, and she can get a grip?

PotteringAlong Wed 12-Jun-19 16:53:49

It is fairly similar. I think she’s being OTT about not talking to you but yes, I’d have gone “Isabella and Arabella? No, let’s pick something else”

PuppyMonkey Wed 12-Jun-19 16:53:53

Totally different names unless you’re both using Bella as a nickname all the time. And even if you are, so what?

dementedpixie Wed 12-Jun-19 16:54:02

They are totally different names. Yanbu

Excited101 Wed 12-Jun-19 16:54:07

Her not speaking to you is a massive massive overreaction but YABVU there are hundreds of thousands of names out there, why did it need to be so similar?

Anothertempusername Wed 12-Jun-19 16:54:15

Unless you're both using nn Bella, YANBU. If you're using Bella and so is she, YABU. Otherwise it's like Amy & Jamie, or Cecilia & Amelia.

FredFlinstoneMadeOfBones Wed 12-Jun-19 16:55:51

I don't see how it's relevant that you don't see each other often or live far apart - your DD's still share a grandmother and other family. If you took that attitude you've probably wound the situation up more than necessary. It comes across like you think your DD's cousin isn't an important part of her life so yes that would naturally hurt your Dsis and DM. That said I think your Dsis is being a tad dramatic if this is all really about similar names. Are there larger issues at play? Is there a history between you two?

FallenSkies Wed 12-Jun-19 16:55:54

But it isn't the same name? I don't understand how you can have stolen the name if it isn't the same?

FWIW I don't believe in this whole stolen names thing anyway. Lots of members of my family have the same name, including my brother and our cousin. Personally I think getting upset over somebody else having the same taste in names as you is batshit, but that is irrelevant as you didn't pick the same name.

Confusedbeetle Wed 12-Jun-19 16:56:42

she is over reacting. However I was mildy annoyed when my sister in law chose Ellen when I had an Elena. I never mentioned it

Strawberrypancakes Wed 12-Jun-19 16:58:03

It’s not the same name, unless you’ve both decided to use the nickname Bella?

ilovecatsabittoomuch Wed 12-Jun-19 16:58:11

Totally different name, I wouldn't worry I think she's being OTT.

Flowerrose Wed 12-Jun-19 16:58:20

Lots of names end in Bella so i think YANBU. It's a completely different name so it's not as if it would cause any confusion

TheDarkPassenger Wed 12-Jun-19 16:58:58

I personally find it odd to do this. There are enough names in the world to not do this

KinderSurpriseBump Wed 12-Jun-19 16:59:03

If I had two daughters, I wouldn't give them those 2 names because they are a bit similar but I don't see a problem for cousins.

mbosnz Wed 12-Jun-19 16:59:06

I know two sisters who had their children within a couple of months of each other that gave them EXACTLY the same name. Now that sister had a reason to be annoyed. And was. Very, VERY annoyed. They are in the same room as each other on such noteworthy occasions as a parents funeral , otherwise. . .

KatnissK Wed 12-Jun-19 16:59:19

I mean they are different names....? I really don't see how you are BU? Even if you both call them Bella at home you could have Bella and Belle or Ari and Izzy when together for better differentiation. I genuinely don't see the problem.

Cantfindaname123 Wed 12-Jun-19 16:59:22

DN is NN Issy.

We don't have a NN yet but it will probably be Bella.

Lllot5 Wed 12-Jun-19 16:59:26

Love the name Arabella, I had a beautiful Siamese cat called that once.
Anyway I think it’s not the same name and it’s fine.
Is there a bit of rivalry and sibling jealousy at play?

ilovecatsabittoomuch Wed 12-Jun-19 16:59:27

Btw on a team I worked on a few years ago 3 women had daughters and all called them Scarlett within a year! No one seemed upset at all I think the original Scarlett mother was just complimented that she started off a trend!

lyralalala Wed 12-Jun-19 16:59:41

Unless there was a family reason for it (one of my DDs and my niece have very similar names as both are named after my nana) then it is so similar I’d have discounted it.

AllFourOfThem Wed 12-Jun-19 16:59:47

It might be a different name but it is very similar, especially since the natural nickname for both is likely to be the same (Bella), so I can see why your sister might have rolled her eyes and been a bit put out but she is BU to not be talking to you about it.

CripsSandwiches Wed 12-Jun-19 16:59:56

In your OP you seem to go to great lengths to explain how unimportant your Dsis is to you and it comes across as quite hostile and defensive. Perhaps if she's picked up on this attitude (or if there's already "bad blood" between you) she's interpreted you choosing such a similar name as a bit aggressive on your part. Presumably you told people the name choice before hand and she objected in which case I'd have probably just picked a different name. There are thousands of names out there so it's a bit unnecessary to pick one so similar that you know will upset your sister.

Morgan12 Wed 12-Jun-19 17:00:32

If my sister called her DS a name that sounded like my DS name I actually think I would be annoyed.

gingajewel Wed 12-Jun-19 17:00:47

My niece who we see quite regularly has one letter different to my dd and there is three weeks she difference. Tbh it doesn’t bother me in the slightest! No one owns a name you can call your child what you want!

DonkeyHohtay Wed 12-Jun-19 17:01:12

but yes, I’d have gone “Isabella and Arabella?

But OP says she sees her nieces very infrequently. It's maybe something you'd consider if you were seeing the children every day and making statements like "I'm taking Arabella and isabella to the park". But that's not going to happen.

OP your sister, quite frankly, is being pathetic. She needs to grow up. Congratulations on the arrival of Arabella.

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