We're they both U?

[TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup]

This is more to get opinions as I think possibly both were BU.

Person 1 decides to clear some stuff into the loft while Person 2 is busy fixing stuff in the loft. Usually stuff gets dumped in a bundle to go into loft at later time but seemed easier since loft was open.
Person 1 starts putting stuff up beside loft opening, person 2 says can you do that later.
1: I'm putting it there so I can then come up and put it away.
2: I need that space there in a minute.
1: I'm just going to move it when I get up into the loft. (was in process of coming up into loft)
2: Do you even know where it goes?!
1: points in vague direction
2: No! Can you take it back down cos I need the space!
1: then I'll put it over there (different bit of loft away from hatch and wrong place) and sort it later
2: shouting can you just put it back downstairs and deal with it later?!??
Person 1 moves stuff downstairs again and goes off to do the thing they were clearing space for.

Person 2 now downstairs and finished in loft restarts conversation saying sorry I shouted at you but I'd asked you 3 times to not put the stuff there and you weren't listening. Person 1 repeats assertion that stuff was going to be moved and there was no need to shout. Person 2 now says they are sick of not being listened to and Person 1 and DD need to actually listen (DD is 6 and tends to zone out of anything she deems boring as 6yos are prone to do) and do as they say. 1 pointed out that they could try the "what I say goes" route and see where that gets them. 2 slightly retracted and said how it's about respect. Then left for work.

Person 2 is prone to shouting when stressed, person 1 tends to ignore it to a point unless DD is around in which case challenges it as unacceptable.

dons all protective gear thoughts?

[TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup]

Stupid autocorrect likes to put apostrophes. Obviously the title should say were, not we're.

[AnneTwackie]

That you’re person 1 and could have stayed out the way if he’s fixing the loft before work?

[HK2009]

Person 1 was being completely unreasonable and irritating. They (assuming you) could put the stuff in the loft once person 2 has gone to work but instead chose to just get in the way and bother p2 unnecessarily.

[MolyHolyGuacamole]

1 was BU.

[TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup]

I am person 1. Person 2 wasn't fixing the loft, just an item in the loft and I could easily move around to where I was putting my stuff without getting in their way.

[justasking111]

Person 1 was being a pain in the ass. They should have waited until person 2 had finished before dumping more stuff up there.

[bringthethunder]

Person 1 was BU. If someone is performing a task just stay out of the way until they are finished. If the loft stuff usually sits without drama then I see no reason why it had to be done NOW, when they are clearly busy. Probably made Person 2 feel rushed/cramped/pressured.

If Person 1 would have just gave them peace to get the task done the whole "shouting/respect" conversation would have been null & void...

[Judashascomeintosomemoney]

Person 1, completely unreasonable and very irritating.

[Antigon]

Why not just you're person 1 OP?

Person 1 was being very annoying but Person 2 needs to control the shouting.

[AryaStarkWolf]

I was going to say Person 1 was BU because you should have waited till Person 2 was done however that comment about you need to do what your told would have made me see red and that totally trumps what you did originally. So I would say both were U but person 2 alot more

[Antigon]

Did you want to get the thing in the loft before the ladder was put up and hatch closed?

[herculepoirot2]

Person 1 is definitely unreasonable here. Just wait.

[NameChangeNugget]

Person 1 sounds like a pain in the arse. Why couldn’t they just wait?

[TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup]

I didn't say because I didn't want a pile on of it being DH shouting and a load of "man shout, ltb" or anything.

If I was U then fine. I didn't think I was involving him in my task at all, didn't need his help to get the items up, and wouldn't have been actively crossing over his area. Loft space is quite big and floored so not awkward to move around.

The second conversation only happened cos he quite often feels the need to share his entire thoughts rather than taking a deep breath and leaving any big discussion til later when he is a bit more calm.

But I will give him a wee while then send him an email to say sorry.

[Brefugee]

Person 1 could have said to Person 2: "when you've finished leave the ladder down because I want to put something in there" and waited. Since if person 2 was about to head for work it wasn't presumably aeons that they had to wait?

Person 2 probably shouldn't have shouted but if you say something 3 times and get ignored (a charitable reading) maybe they thought person 1 didn't hear?

[TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup]

I wanted to get the thing up cos I'm sick of doing the pile it up and move it later as we live in a bit of a bomb site atm so I'm trying to be more proactive about putting things back where they go.

[BollocksToBrexit]

Person 1 is being unreasonable and very annoying.

[TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup]

Brefugee, yes I probably should have said something like that. Was shifting stuff so I could get started on my own project before I need to go and do school run then after school stuff etc.

I appreciate the opinions.

[freshstartnewme]

Sounds too much like hard work for me. Are person 1 and person 2 always like this?

[lunar1]

You were being a pain! Why are you communicating an apology via email?

[Namechangeishard]

Sorry, I agree that YWBU.
Brefugee has it perfectly.

[Ivestoppedreadingthenews]

Person 1 was being irritating. Person 2 shouldn’t shout.

[musicposy]

I don't get why person 1 didn't just let person 2 finish their job and do their stuff then. Or at a different time. DH sometimes does this; starts doing some kind of job in the kitchen just as I start cooking, or moving stuff around the bathroom just as I'm cleaning/ painting it. I always send him away.

[saraclara]

Person 1 could have said to Person 2: "when you've finished leave the ladder down because I want to put something in there" and waited

That's what happens in our house. The person doing the job needs to focus on it - especially if they're short of time. It's immensely irritating to have someone trying to occupy the space and doing another task near them. Lofts aren't big.

[TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup]

DH and I quite regularly communicate by email or WhatsApp while he's at work as he's around on site rather than at a desk.
A quick sorry email now means we can apologise properly later. We did used to argue a lot and sometimes we slip back into old habits (went to counselling which helped massively).

As it happens he messaged me just now to say sorry, he was stressing about something and shouldn't have taken it out on me. I have also apologised for not just leaving it til he was out the way cos I realise I was being unintentionally in the way regardless.