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AIBU to think this is absolute rubbish - bullying at work

(114 Posts)
artichokehearts Fri 07-Jun-19 13:25:21

I am sorry but I am really gobsmacked at this article in the Daily Fail today. I have only ever been bullied at work once - and that was by a man. I can't be that untypical surely? The women I've worked with have all been perfectly normal and generally nice.

mbosnz Fri 07-Jun-19 13:27:42

I've been bullied at work by both men and women. The women were perfectly normal, but utter bitches, and I will be very glad if I never set eyes on them again. It was like working with the mean girls from high school.

doskant Fri 07-Jun-19 13:55:26

I’ve experienced female bullies in the workplace before but remained relatively unaffected. Barely gave it a thought. Until I started working where I do now. It’s been an absolute nightmare. The childish, nasty, manipulative bitchiness of these women’s behaviour made it really tough for a while there. My career has been badly damaged in the process. Thankfully the bullies in my team have now left besides one who is suddenly deciding to be friendlier. Funny that. Queen bitch works in another section so I don’t have to deal with her really. But she makes it known she’s still there. Still has her eye on the target on my back. Good on the woman in that story for using it as motivation for her book. Bet her bullies feel silly now. Inspirational really.

araiwa Fri 07-Jun-19 14:09:47

Im surprised youre surprised

Vilanelle Fri 07-Jun-19 14:11:28

OP just because you have never experienced it, doesn't mean it does not happen. That is a ridiculous thought process.

donajimena Fri 07-Jun-19 14:13:37

I've only ever been bullied by women at work.

ShirleyPhallus Fri 07-Jun-19 14:14:49

We’ve got two very senior women at work and both are bitches. And before anyone jumps up and said that bitches is a horrible word designed to belittle women or something, that’s exactly what they are.

Routinely do things like ask for papers to be written to presented to Board then remove your name off and add their name on instead. Really unpleasant stuff that I haven’t encountered with men, in a much more sly and underhand way.

I’ve met men who are utter dicks but these women are much more poisonous.

Only my experience, of course.

ChristmasInJuly Fri 07-Jun-19 14:16:36

I have witnessed bullying at work, senior women against a more junior woman - but then I worked in a more female-dominated industry anyway so perhaps an unfair comparison. Some women never really leave high school.

tensmum1964 Fri 07-Jun-19 14:19:29

I have lost count of the amount of bullying by women that ive seen in the workplace in a variety of settings. Some woman are purely toxic and I say that as a feminist.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Fri 07-Jun-19 14:34:04

Just because it's outside of your own experience, do NOT belittle others' experience - how narrowminded of you! angry

A friend of mine had similar happen to her, except it wasn't in anything like as high powered a position - just a college office. But the instigator managed to turn most of the other office staff against my friend, and made her life at work a living hell.

I haven't suffered it at the hands of women, but the sexual harassment I suffered at work was exacerbated by the attitude of some women, who told me I should just suck it up and grow up.

If you haven't experienced anything like this, you are lucky. Good for you! But your suggestion that no one could suffer it is absolute shit.

Jaxhog Fri 07-Jun-19 14:35:22

I've been bullied by both, but the male bullies were much worse.

UserFriendly14 Fri 07-Jun-19 14:37:07

I could copy and paste Doskant's reply TBH. I had an awful experience with one particular woman, who I managed. Unfortunately management were completely hoodwinked by her, to the point I quit my job as it wasn't worth the hassle anymore.

beenandgoneandbackagain Fri 07-Jun-19 14:38:39

I was going to type that I'd only ever been bullied by a female boss. And then I thought a bit more - a lot of the behaviours exhibited by male bosses have been similar, but because I tend to class it more as "typical male behaviour" I haven't classed it as bullying.

I wonder if some of the dissonance is to do with expected behaviour of males / females versus how we interpret that behaviour?

herculepoirot2 Fri 07-Jun-19 14:40:02

Bullies are toxic. Male bullies and female bullies.

spanishwife Fri 07-Jun-19 14:42:55

The only shocking thing about this thread is your willingness to believe and share Daily Mail's 'anti-women' agenda.

Namechangeishard Fri 07-Jun-19 14:46:16

The only times I have been bullied in work it has been by women. One was my manager and another time by a colleague.

In my current job several office staff were bullied by one female senior manager (left) and one office manager who was given the push by the new (male) senior manager for bullying the office staff.

Nearlythere1 Fri 07-Jun-19 14:49:54

I think everybody needs to grow up and stop banging on about bullying among adults. Until about 20 years ago the word only applied to children.

doskant Fri 07-Jun-19 14:50:51

@Namechangeishard That’s good to hear. Surprising really because I think it’s probably not that easy to get rid of bullies unless it’s very overt. Queen bully bitch at my work has ruined several women’s careers and she’s notorious for being like the Terminator when going after her target (should have quit when I had the chance) yet they just seem to promote her.

doskant Fri 07-Jun-19 14:52:16

@Nearlythere1 Spoken like a true bully.

SoupDragon Fri 07-Jun-19 14:53:12

I have only ever been bullied at work once - and that was by a man. I can't be that untypical surely? The women I've worked with have all been perfectly normal and generally nice.

So, you are saying that you think only those with a penis can be bullies? confused

Did you never experience the "mean girls" at school?

sqirrelfriends Fri 07-Jun-19 14:58:12

@Nearlythere1 - What a ridiculous thing to say.

LouiseCollins28 Fri 07-Jun-19 15:00:40

The only times I've really been bullied at work it was by female managers, twice, once so badly I quit after about 6 months and another occasion.

I've been on the receiving end of joshing in mostly male workplaces (been in several) but never actually bullied by a male colleague or manager,

pigeonscooing Fri 07-Jun-19 15:09:31

I was bullied at work by a woman. Nasty piece of work she was.

Ivestoppedreadingthenews Fri 07-Jun-19 15:12:38

I’ve only been bullied at work by a woman. My best boss was also a woman too though. I’m not claiming any wide reaching conclusions from my anecdotal evidence though.

hellymart Fri 07-Jun-19 15:19:24

I've only ever been bullied by female bosses too. Think they were threatened by me because I was GOOD at my job (but actually had no interest in theirs). Give me a male boss over a female any day. It has actually made me wary of working for a woman again.

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