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Nursery put Henna on my child.

(313 Posts)
Pencilcase123 Tue 04-Jun-19 21:54:10

When my DH picked up our DD (4) from nursery one of the staff said she had drawn DDs initials in Henna on Dds hand because Dd insisted. DH did not complain.

I am baffled as to why the nursery would have Henna out in the first place. It is brown Henna and I don’t think it is particularly dangerous but I am quite miffed that nursery staff thought it was ok to give my 4 year old a temporary tattoo. Would you complain about this?

Sparklesocks Mon 20-Jan-20 13:03:27

This thread is 6 months old...I'm sure OP is over it now!!

Wereallsquare Mon 20-Jan-20 12:45:35

Tread cautiously in your complaints, should you decide to take that route. These people are looking after your child and you want them to have positive feelings about her parents. They have the power to take revenge on you through your child or through SS.

If you think I am exaggerating or hysterical, allow me to illustrate: A friend of mine was consistently unpleasant to nursery staff. Eventually they reported her to SS for child abuse because her child had an injury from an accident. The staff alleged all kinds of horrible things. A parent's worst nightmare.

My friend never did learn, and continues to male trouble for herself wherever she goes by being imperious and reckless.

Be very sweet and conciliatory in your request to not have your child marked, even at her own request. You can say she has very sensitive skin or something.

ThePlantsitter Mon 20-Jan-20 09:03:53

I hate racist fuckers too.

TheSerenDipitY Mon 20-Jan-20 09:01:32

fuck i hate zombies

TheSerenDipitY Mon 20-Jan-20 09:00:38

@lyralalala
mine is allergic to facepaints too, he was ok the first few time he had his face painted and then one day at playcenter they painted his face, he ran off to play then within minutes came back saying his face was burning, we washed it off and his face was very red in parts, only some of the colours reacted with his skin weirdly, but from then on they wouldnt use the face paints on any child without using a special barrier type cream first and explaining that there had been a reaction ( not sure if they changed the paints or not as it was just mine with the reaction)
i would have most likely told them off for it, as i dont know if he has a reaction to henna ( or anything in the henna paste) so they couldnt know if he did either

FrankSlater Mon 20-Jan-20 06:38:45

@melj1213 By "their kids" I am referring to the children of the person who put the henna on the child for Eid (which I assume was the occasion given the date). Is recognising a religious holiday xenophobic? Or is sardonically suggesting a cross cultural reversal the "xenophobic remark"? I am genuinely at a loss. If putting henna on a child for Eid without the parents consent is ok. Why would putting ash on a child for easter be explicitly xenophobic?

Don't get me wrong. I am xenophobic. However, what I said was not. Rather it was simply to suggest a cross cultural parallel in order to highlight the possible double standard.

melj1213 Mon 20-Jan-20 04:48:49

Smear one of their kids with an ashen cross for Easter. See what they think of that.

Was it really worth resurrecting a 7 month old thread for such a xenophobic remark? (And who are "their kids" exactly @FrankSlater?)

sashh Mon 20-Jan-20 04:28:52

Smear one of their kids with an ashen cross for Easter. See what they think of that.

not sure who the 'their kids' are in this instance, but I can guess. My dad had the ashes applied by a muslim child last year.

Quite a few muslims (including teachers) at the primary near the church he goes to.

Natural henna is unlikely to cause a reaction, not impossible but it isn't like nuts which a lot of people react to. If you have been on holiday to somewhere like Bali or Mauritius you have probably walked past a henna tree or ten.

Black 'henna' is another matter and I wouldn't go near the stuff.

But nursery should have got permission.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 Mon 20-Jan-20 03:58:55

If she didn't react it's not that big a deal. Clearly OP is irked so l would politely remind them to ask first.

I don't think this I'd a religious objection so there I'd no need to bring religion into it.

FrankSlater Mon 20-Jan-20 03:50:32

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Anywherebuthere Thu 13-Jun-19 10:14:38

Also original henna is natural and perfectly safe.

But the type that comes in cones nowadays and gives a very dark colour in short space of time is full of unnatural chemicals and people can have reactions to it.

Thedilemma111 Sat 08-Jun-19 18:39:28

*talking

Thedilemma111 Sat 08-Jun-19 18:39:16

Of course I’m taking about natural henna here ,

Thedilemma111 Sat 08-Jun-19 18:33:30

Pencilcase123

Clearly the nursery didn’t think it’s unwise to use henna .

I don’t suggest that natural henna will NEVER cause allergies .
in my post . A very small percentage of the population will react to extremely routine and commonly used foods and products and that says more about the individual in that it would be against the grain of what might USUALLY be a fine product or food to consume . It would therefore be a UNUSUAL .

For example a child COULD react to a new type of glue the nursery used which they got on their fingers . That doesn’t necessarily mean that the nursery were UNWISE to use it ! It may NOT be something that they would REASONABLY have expected to cause an allergy !

Which may be the case with this HENNA . They obviously were using It and had no REASONABLE basis to think it was going to cause an allergic reaction in YOUR child .

As I said in my previous post , I do not know ANYONE who has had a reaction to natural henna . That does not mean that no one has reacted to natural henna . But my GUESS is that it would be UNLIKELY.

If your child was allergic to other things , and that their allergic tendencies were lined to the nursery , I’d understand why you’d have this concern.

I think you just didn’t like the nursery putting the henna on your child . Just tell them that and be done with it .

Bear In mind though , that your CHILD wanted the henna on . No harm came to her .

I think you are barking up the wrong tree going on about allergies . There are parents out there whose kids DO react to things and live through the hell and the stress of it .

I think you are ungrateful , the child wanted henna and the nursery obliged . They did not REASONABLY believe that any harm would come to your child .

I think , as I said earlier , that you just didn’t want the henna on your child’s hands . If you don’t like henna tell the nursery you don’t want henna on your child’s hands again and be done with it .

Remember that your child may see other kids enjoying this art form again, and that they will not be able to partake even if they want to . And that is your choice .

LimeKiwi Sat 08-Jun-19 12:53:44

Natural henna doesn't cause allergic reactions

What a load of absolute nonsense, sorry.
ANYTHING can cause allergic reactions on different people.

PCohle Sat 08-Jun-19 11:42:36

why dont you Sue if you are so concerned op, sue for being upset by it.

The OP's question is "Would you complain about this?". If anyone is wildly overreacting it's you.

stella1know Sat 08-Jun-19 11:30:16

Since OPs DD still has the tattoo marks, and they are black, it clearly wasn't “natural henna”. Therefore some strong chemical stuff was used, and the nursery should certainly be flagged on this. OP please take pictures showing the colour, and how long it stays on, for your own records, and so you cannot be gaslighted with “its natural, innit, whatsda problem?”

EleanorReally Sat 08-Jun-19 10:34:36

I agree, a non issue.
sign a consent for everything

why dont you Sue if you are so concerned op, sue for being upset by it.

insancerre Sat 08-Jun-19 10:30:02

Ask to see the risk assessment for this activity
They should have asked for written permission
Complain to head office, not the manager as they may try to minimise it, to straight to the top, operations manager or area manager

Bettyspants Sat 08-Jun-19 10:27:37

OP I'm a bit bewildered at the 'clutching pearls ' comments. Seems that on AIBU there's always those assuming you have an extreme view.

I think you have reacted very sensibly. Of course in the grand scheme of things its a non issue BUT nursery/primary school are supposed to have written permission even for face paint. Some children have incredibly sensitive skin, some parents are just precious!!

You've responded calmly and sensibly which is likely to avoid issues in the future.

Pencilcase123 Sat 08-Jun-19 10:18:52

@Thedilemma111 I expect the nursery to tell my daughter no when she wants to do something unwise. She is 4 they are adults.

Many people have given examples of being allergic to Henna on this thread.

EggysMom Sat 08-Jun-19 09:18:34

JMO. I accept that my son will learn about different religions, we are raising him agnostic, his school celebrate a range of festivals and it probably makes things more interesting. However I would not be happy with school deliberately "defacing" my son without permission. Facepaints that wash off after a few hours, fine, I'd still like to be told of such plans in advance in case we had an appointment or family plans after school. Henna that lasts for a few days/weeks, I would expect our permission to be sought.

Thedilemma111 Sat 08-Jun-19 09:07:09

She felt compelled to do it because ur daughter insisted on it . She was probably going to be very upset if the nursery DIDNT do it . Would you have complained then too ?

I don’t know anyone who has had an allergic reaction to natural henna . Been to a million fairs and school bazaars with the stuff flying around . Don’t remember mentioning allergies ....

Contraceptionismyfriend Sat 08-Jun-19 09:00:39

@Isatis maybe actually bother reading the thread first. Grass is natural, nuts are natural. Milk is natural. So why do you lack the common sense to understand that henna can and HAS caused an allergic reaction.

Isatis Sat 08-Jun-19 08:11:40

It's a big issue to those of us who have to worry about the next allergic reaction.

This is getting into cancel the cheque territory. Natural henna doesn't cause allergic reactions.

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