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Nursery put Henna on my child.

(303 Posts)
Pencilcase123 Tue 04-Jun-19 21:54:10

When my DH picked up our DD (4) from nursery one of the staff said she had drawn DDs initials in Henna on Dds hand because Dd insisted. DH did not complain.

I am baffled as to why the nursery would have Henna out in the first place. It is brown Henna and I don’t think it is particularly dangerous but I am quite miffed that nursery staff thought it was ok to give my 4 year old a temporary tattoo. Would you complain about this?

Norwayswedeniceland Tue 04-Jun-19 21:55:19

That’s really bad and an awful lot of people have reactions to Henna. I’d be furious

dementedpixie Tue 04-Jun-19 21:56:53

It's normally black henna that causes reactions not brown. I'm not sure I'd be bothered

Pinkyyy Tue 04-Jun-19 21:59:52

I wouldn't be happy at all. I'd make a complaint and ask them not to do anything of the sort again.

Seeline Tue 04-Jun-19 22:01:17

I had to send in a signed consent form when DD s secondary did this for charity at the Christmas fair.

I would be very cross. She could easily have a reaction.

TheTrollFairy Tue 04-Jun-19 22:03:56

i probably wouldn’t complain. DD loves temporary tattoos and she quite often goes to nursery with them on (although I know slightly different). I would be devastated if she had a reaction to it and scarred though so on this I don’t think it was a wise decision for them to do it

Bobbiepin Tue 04-Jun-19 22:03:57

I had to sign a consent for my dd's nursery to out suncream on her. I'd be fuming if she came home with henna. Definitely make a complaint.

SavoyCabbage Tue 04-Jun-19 22:04:12

Eid ul Fitr Is today. They absolutely should have got a signed permission slip for this.

YetAnotherThing Tue 04-Jun-19 22:04:46

Meh.

sarahg216 Tue 04-Jun-19 22:05:39

It’s probably to do with the nursery celebrating Eid. Nursery local to us did the same. They did ask our consent before though and we said no.

BlueMerchant Tue 04-Jun-19 22:06:10

I'd have no problem if I'd been asked in advance however without my consent I'd be very annoyed.

Binglebong Tue 04-Jun-19 22:06:57

How is your DD insisting on this so firmly that she can't be told no? What if she insists on climbing on a roof?!

Why was it there in the first place and why can't they tell a four year old no?

FedUpMum40 Tue 04-Jun-19 22:08:05

Do nursery normally do this?

Chesterwife Tue 04-Jun-19 22:09:06

Would find it a bit hard to get worked up about this tbh

Jinglejanglefish Tue 04-Jun-19 22:09:08

We did this at nursery I used to work in to celebrate Eid. Parents were asked to sign a consent form though. I personally wouldn't be bothered about it if my child had asked for it and was happy with it.

GlamGiraffe Tue 04-Jun-19 22:10:02

I'd be completely furious. I don't like that kind of thing on kids for "fun". I would not permit my child and it is not up to nursery to decide on something like that on a parents behalf.
I have had a reaction to a tiny amount of henna at a wedding and wouldn't want it tried in necessary on a child.
It is appropriate nursery explain this situation and explain why henna was in use at school ( considering it doesn't wash off for a while) andwhether thet had even considered that henna causes severe reactions and such things need explicit permission.
If your child insisted they wanted to go out of school to the park alone would they let her? Of course not. So why would they paint her hand because she insisted?
Ridiculous.

MissPollyHadADolly19 Tue 04-Jun-19 22:10:04

It's Eid today/Tomorrow so that would probably be the reason. They should of asked for consent though, that is definitely a must.

Bunnybigears Tue 04-Jun-19 22:11:48

Is it definite henna? I know some nurseries/schools have used brown body paints to draw designs on the kids hands as part of Eid

HJWT Tue 04-Jun-19 22:13:21

Id complain but my DD has sensitive skin and eczema xx

AngelOfDeathNix Tue 04-Jun-19 22:13:45

Is it definitely henna? Our foundation class have been decorating themselves with blue paint patterns today!

LazyFace Tue 04-Jun-19 22:14:46

Eid or not they should definitely have asked for permission.

ILoveJoeBrown Tue 04-Jun-19 22:16:54

Um... paints, glue, felt tips...?

YourSarcasmIsDripping Tue 04-Jun-19 22:17:09

Not ok to do it without a permission slip.

While I wouldn't mind ,they can't guarantee no other parents wouldn't either, that the kid won't have a reaction etc.

It's good practice to ask for permission,for everyone's sake.

HelloJackie Tue 04-Jun-19 22:17:23

My god so you'd complain to the teachers if your DC drew permanent marker on herself too?

Get a grip, seriously

Sparkles07 Tue 04-Jun-19 22:20:01

How do some people have the energy to be angry and upset about things like this?

Pencilcase123 Tue 04-Jun-19 22:20:13

The nursery staff member said it was Henna and it did not wash off in the sink so yes I am pretty sure that it is Henna.

Zebedee88 Tue 04-Jun-19 22:20:23

If its henna they should have asked permission...you can easily have a reaction

YourSarcasmIsDripping Tue 04-Jun-19 22:20:22

Jackie

1. The child didn't do it herself.

2. There's a reasonable expectation that mess and /or accidents will happen with common classroom resources pens,felt tips,glues, clay, scissors etc. Henna is not a classroom resource.

Riv Tue 04-Jun-19 22:20:43

I would have expected consent to be sought (like they have to for applying sun cream)
I wonder why they used initials rather than a pattern though. I wouldn’t mind a pattern on a lo’s hand but would object to them being labelled, unless it was in a lovely elaborate font 😂

Chouetted Tue 04-Jun-19 22:22:05

Henna is usually considered the low-risk alternative allergy wise.

"Black henna" is NOT henna.

Namechangeforthiscancershit Tue 04-Jun-19 22:22:41

It would be very strange to react to brown Henna but I'm sure it has to be with consent. With our Rainbows etc it definitely does, which means that we can't really be bothered as we hate making consent forms and parents hate signing them!

AbbyHammond Tue 04-Jun-19 22:22:49

Odd thing to do, I wouldn't be happy.

DesperadoDan Tue 04-Jun-19 22:23:27

This would not bother me in the slightest. It will wash off.

ReganSomerset Tue 04-Jun-19 22:25:12

Eid mubarak!

They probably should have called and asked, or written for consent in advance ideally, but I couldn't get worked up about it personally.

ReturnofSaturn Tue 04-Jun-19 22:25:56

Meh she's fine. I don't know how some people get through regular life getting worked up about such things.

stucknoue Tue 04-Jun-19 22:26:01

It's eid today, I suspect they had a party

Isatis Tue 04-Jun-19 22:27:29

Meh. I get it that maybe they should have asked, but really if this were my child it wouldn't bother me in the least. If she likes it, I'd be pleased for her.

Wildorchidz Tue 04-Jun-19 22:30:25

This would not bother me in the slightest. It will wash off.

The OP has already said that it had not washed off. Presumably it will fade away but I would be annoyed too.

JonSnowsFurCoat Tue 04-Jun-19 22:30:42

Our nursery do this for Eid but ask for permission first. We have to sign a consent form

mollpop Tue 04-Jun-19 22:32:12

It's not a big deal. Just let it go

Riv Tue 04-Jun-19 22:32:21

It can take weeks to wash off.

Once had it done for a wedding and nearly lost my job as the dress code stipulated no visible body art. Caused a lot of problems for me at work.

OP - if you want it to fade quickly, lemon juice is reasonably gentle and does make it less bright and removes it quicker than just frequent washes with soap.

BarryBarryTaylor Tue 04-Jun-19 22:35:55

Yes my daughters nursery had a fundraiser before Xmas and one of the parents went in to do Henna, we all had to sign consent forms. It’s the same for face painting and applying sun cream.
They should have checked, even just a text or email would have sufficed.

MollysMummy2010 Tue 04-Jun-19 22:36:01

It is eide but my daughters old nursery used to use a brown felt tip.

Isatis Tue 04-Jun-19 22:37:28

If you had been asked, would you actually have said no, OP? I wouldn't want my child to be the one who is left out.

GeorgiaGirl52 Tue 04-Jun-19 22:37:52

YANBU unless it is a faith school. If they put ashes on the children for Ash Wednesday there would be complaints too.

Mrsmadevans Tue 04-Jun-19 22:39:22

These things happen when they do activities in nursery and school, if there is no harm done then let it go OP your DD probably really loved her doing it .

BarryBarryTaylor Tue 04-Jun-19 22:40:29

Isatis- it’s not so much being left out I shouldn’t imagine, more the possibility that OPs daughter could have had a severe allergic reaction, and they didn’t check. If OP had signed a consent form and the child had a reaction, that’s then down to parent, but not to check prior is just failure to do basic stuff. I’m a CM now, but was nursery manager. We had to get parents to sign consent forms for applying plasters!!

Pencilcase123 Tue 04-Jun-19 22:41:37

It is not a faith school. It is a private nursery. Part of a large chain of nurseries.

ReganSomerset Tue 04-Jun-19 22:44:12

I may be wrong here, but I think henna is mainly a cultural rather than religious practice, not really comparable to Ash Wednesday ashes.

JingsMahBucket Tue 04-Jun-19 22:45:03

@Sparkles07
How do some people have the energy to be angry and upset about things like this?

Seriously. I understand the allergy aspect, but if there’s no risk of it OP, what’s the problem? Pick your battles. Your daughter probably wanted to have fun. Let her enjoy it instead of tarnishing the experience. And please don’t go raging to the poor nursery workers either.

JemSynergy Tue 04-Jun-19 22:46:02

Hmm I think I would like to know about it before it was applied. My children have sensitive skin and have lots reactions, so I do need to know beforehand about things, so I know the ingredients etc. During a year 6 leavers party we had to sign a consent form before henna could be used.

Isatis Tue 04-Jun-19 22:46:20

more the possibility that OPs daughter could have had a severe allergic reaction

Extremely, extremely unlikely with brown henna

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD Tue 04-Jun-19 22:47:07

I have pretty tough skin - but I had henna put on and the skin came up in blisters. I had a lovely angry red pattern on my skin for ages.

Outofinspiration Tue 04-Jun-19 22:48:56

Wow, I'm surprised they didn't do a consent form for this in this day and age!!!

LimeKiwi Tue 04-Jun-19 22:50:14

They should have asked first.
Suffer from eczema and sensitive skin in this household and DS could easily have reacted to anything like face paints or henna at that age.
Not OK. With permission, yes. Without permission, absolutely not.

Miljah Tue 04-Jun-19 22:50:15

None of you have teenagers, do you? 😂

Nesssie Tue 04-Jun-19 22:50:54

It’s more the semi-permanence of henna. Felt pen and glue washes now off, henna stays for at least a week. I wouldn’t be too happy about it.

Alsohuman Tue 04-Jun-19 22:51:25

Do unclench, I can’t believe people get worked up over such trivia.

Wildorchidz Tue 04-Jun-19 22:51:40

None of you have teenagers, do you? 😂

Yes I do actually.

TheRealShatParp Tue 04-Jun-19 22:52:23

I wouldn’t mind so can’t really relate to people getting so worked up about it to be honest. If this gets you riled up then you have a pretty stress free life.

GabsAlot Tue 04-Jun-19 22:52:27

Four year old insisted-what if she insisted to juggle with knives

RaptorWhiskers Tue 04-Jun-19 22:52:29

I’d be furious. People have been scarred for life by henna. And a 4yo shouldn’t be able to “insist” - the staff should be able to say no.

LimeKiwi Tue 04-Jun-19 22:53:21

None of you have teenagers, do you

I do, DS I mentioned in my previous post is a now teen lol.
If he decided to get henna or face paint or whatever now which I wouldn't have let do at that age because of sensitive skin, I'm of the opinion he;s big enough and daft enough to make his own decisions and I can't be following him around saying "no" all the time lol

BackforGood Tue 04-Jun-19 22:53:56

In this day and age I'm surprised they didn't get permission first, but I wouldn't be cross or upset about it. I would be rather pleased my dc got to enjoy celebrations from all sorts of cultures.

LimeKiwi Tue 04-Jun-19 22:54:37

Do unclench, I can’t believe people get worked up over such trivia

Presumably said by someone blessed with no skin problems

Thertruthisoutwhere Tue 04-Jun-19 22:54:54

I would complain, awful behaviour. You dont know if you react to new toxins and I wouldn't risk it on a small child (same reason i wouldn't get ears pierced). Asking = totally fine, not fine to just steam ahead. As a kid i had weird reactions to random things and it was awful so my mum didnt let me wear kids' perfume etc until i waa older amd my system waa more developed.

My nursery won't even let DS progress to the next stage of the dairy ladder without a lot of discussion and rightly so, allergies are dangerous!

WillLokireturn Tue 04-Jun-19 22:55:26

I would be concerned about this, having two DC with eczema & one with severe allergies. It really ought've required consent form, it's surprising they didn't seek that as even a school would need that.
I'd talk to the nursery manager. I wouldn't go in accusatory but I'd want to know what it was and to be reassured for future, as it sounds like one nursery worker has breached a policy there. If you know about it and consent - no problem, as it's nice to join in celebrations.

Alsohuman Tue 04-Jun-19 22:55:32

Said by someone with a sense of proportion.

ellendegeneres Tue 04-Jun-19 22:56:13

My eldest would have loved this- until the point it wouldn’t wash off so would have had meltdowns until it wore off. So I’d have said no to consenting for him, had I been asked.
Youngest, I’d have said crack on. Two very different kids. But at the same time, I’d have wanted my consent sought.

Of my two, eldest has eczema, youngest allergies. Eldests isn’t visible, nor youngests until he has what he can’t.

The ‘none of you have teenagers’ comment is stupid- it’s been done in nursery where the child can’t give informed consent for something like this knowing what an allergic reaction would feel like. That’s the whole point.

LimeKiwi Tue 04-Jun-19 22:56:41

Said by someone with a sense of proportion

More like not a clue about others circumstances and lives in their own little bubble to be so blase.

Dvg Tue 04-Jun-19 23:00:14

As someone allergic to a lot of them i would say yanbu, its really dangerous and people have really suffered from it.

That's why skin patch tests are done -_-

YourSarcasmIsDripping Tue 04-Jun-19 23:04:07

The things is it's irrelevant if you would be ok with it,you don't think it's a big deal or the kid had fun. OP is not happy with it,and it's not ok for the nursery to use a semi permanent substance, that couldn't be reasonably expected to be in a nursery without a consent form. Then OP could make an informed decision, for her pre schooler. But they didn't ask and that is what's wrong here. Good practice means they have to ask.

Uzicorn Tue 04-Jun-19 23:06:45

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PonderingPanda Tue 04-Jun-19 23:08:29

It wouldn't bother me but my DC don't have allergies

Comefromaway Tue 04-Jun-19 23:10:22

I’d have gone loopy. Dd reacted very badly to several different brands of face paints and make up as a child to the extent that when she was in a dance show dressed up as a cat I had to specially source face paints for her that she didn’t react to after patch testing etc.

YourSarcasmIsDripping Tue 04-Jun-19 23:12:19

Henna is not used just by followers of Islam.

hmm right back at you.

emotionalaffair Tue 04-Jun-19 23:16:56

I wouldn't be happy. There was a family event at my DC school where henna was used. Parents all there so gave permission. Kids and parents had it on for ages afterwards as it would not come off.

I didn't let my DD have it and was extremely glad I didn't.

I have also seen horrible burns from henna.

It's not comparable to face paints or temporary tattoos.

FlutteringFeathers Tue 04-Jun-19 23:20:56

What an odd thing to have happen, surely someone didn't rock into work with henna for all the kids without planning it? It just seems unnecessary and a bit thoughtless. My cousin has a perfect butterfly shaped scar on her ankle after a henna reaction, maybe that was black henna, but who knows what kind random nursery worker decided to bring in with them? We have to sign permission forms for so much, seems an odd judgment to have made that this would just be fine for all the kids without asking 🤔
I try not to be that parent and I really try not to complain knowing that minders will just have to make decisions in the moment about plenty of things, and I trust that they try to make those the best they can. But this is very much not "just one of those things"!

Pencilcase123 Tue 04-Jun-19 23:21:23

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mooncuplanding Tue 04-Jun-19 23:22:54

Call the cops

MulticolourMophead Tue 04-Jun-19 23:22:57

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TurquoiseAndPurple Tue 04-Jun-19 23:25:09

I personally wouldn't bat an eyelid as I have friends who are henna artists and I'm an artist myself. However I can totally understand why others would think they crossed a line.

Likeazombi Tue 04-Jun-19 23:26:47

I wouldn't be happy about this, kid could have had a reaction. Plus at that age a brown pen would have done just as well.
Henna can last over a month.
My friend does henna at festivals. She has to have public liability insurance.

Likeazombi Tue 04-Jun-19 23:29:34

Also, I've seen and interacted with lots of people celebrating eid today, not noticed any henna and didnt know it was anything to do with eid and would always associate it more with weddings.
How much exactly does this nursery know about eid. They could have done something more fitting and or appropriate for little children.

SarahAndQuack Tue 04-Jun-19 23:29:40

DD has very sensitive skin. I still can't imagine getting worked up about this, if it is brown henna? Probably they looked up whether or not it was safe, found it was, and used it. Ok, maybe it'd be ideal if they'd checked, but IME lots of things nursery claim are washable prove quite permanent! I'd rather this than the wonky felt-tip 'eyeliner' we got the other week.

If your child does get a serious reaction of course alert them and maybe make a fuss, but otherwise, I'd say children coming home with unexpected semi-permanent marks is par for the course.

Fakeflowersandlemonade Tue 04-Jun-19 23:31:37

This happened in my dc school years ago celebrating eid, however liquid eyeliner was used instead of actual henna.

frazzledasarock Tue 04-Jun-19 23:32:07

Henna doesn’t last a month unless you don’t wash. It washes off in a couple of days a week max. If it’s the natural henna that stains orange it is safe.

JingsMahBucket Tue 04-Jun-19 23:33:02

@Pencilcase123 is your child allergic to henna or other skin based stuff? If not, then what is the problem?

Do they have your daughter’s allergy info on file and maybe they checked it before applying the henna?

Why was your husband not bothered but you are?

Pencilcase123 Tue 04-Jun-19 23:39:49

They know that my Dd had an allergic reaction when she was 2 that required an ambulance but we never found out what caused it.The doctors thought it might have been from eating a plant. (We were at a garden party).

We had no idea if she was allergic to Henna and neither did they.

My DH mentioned it to me immediately as something odd. He wanted to know if it was ok and I wasn’t sure so I posted here.

MissEliza Tue 04-Jun-19 23:41:30

As background dh is from the Middle East and I used to teach there. They absolutely should have asked your permission first. Many people develop allergies to henna because of what gets added.

ChicCroissant Tue 04-Jun-19 23:43:50

I would complain about the risk of allergies, yes. Felt tip pen would have been fine, but not henna.

Teddybear45 Tue 04-Jun-19 23:46:47

I’m Indian and am allergic to everything except natural henna (the green stuff that turns yellow not brown) — but that stuff costs money and isn’t usually even available outside South Asia.

Most henna cones that come from India / Pakistan / Bangladesh are so full of chemicals they might as well be using hair-dye. I’d be furious if they risked my child without my permission. Don’t take this lying down.

JingsMahBucket Tue 04-Jun-19 23:49:31

@Pencilcase123 okay, so there is a risk of reaction then. That wasn’t mentioned initially and a lot of people were speculating. That helps us posters who were more laid back about it understand why you were so upset.

LuluJakey1 Tue 04-Jun-19 23:53:56

DS has just discovered stick on tattoos . DH bought him a sheet of lobster tattoos which are now all over him (not on his face thank goodness) grin

CarolDanvers Tue 04-Jun-19 23:54:36

I wouldn't care.

Dd and I had out hands painted when we were on holiday in the UAE. It looked beautiful. It took 11 days to come off for all those who are worried it will last for weeks.

kateandme Wed 05-Jun-19 00:03:35

olive oil and salt rub.leave for 10
bicarb solution
tooth paste and leave for 10 solution.
lemon juice

Chocmallows Wed 05-Jun-19 00:05:26

My DD has been hospitalised with allergic reactions, even reacted to nettle rash at one point, my DS (SEN) at 4 would want to wash face paint off after 5 minutes and if any was left could get distraught.

To those who have never had allergies or DC with them or SEN, you can take risks. The rest of us would like a choice!

OP I would have a quiet 1-1 word with a manager without DC around and say that in future you would like to be asked about things like this in advance. Other parents are likely to say the same thing.

WorraLiberty Wed 05-Jun-19 00:06:55

I'm really surprised because many schools won't even give plasters in case the child has an allergic reaction.

Omzlas Wed 05-Jun-19 00:09:39

people have been scarred for life from henna

BLACK HENNA. BLACK.
Not brown or yellow henna. Black henna contains chemicals that are often found in hair dye and is not true henna.

I couldn't find the energy to get riled up about this but my DD loves henna. I could understand if your child has sensitive skin. You said she has an allergy that may have been due to eating a plant - that isn't an allergy because nothing can be proven or identified, it's not happened since and could well have been the result of ingesting a dangerous plant

That said, even verbal permission would go a long way for something that doesn't wash straight off, like pen or paint.

Teddybear45 Wed 05-Jun-19 00:13:00

@Omzlas - wrong. I have permanent scarring from brown henna. Only green henna (that turns yellow) is the natural stuff.

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