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to be furious with my brother for taking my child out without telling anyone...

(16 Posts)
hellobello Sun 22-Jul-07 09:31:10

then blaming me and dh for being upset. We didn't know where dc was and nearly called the police, only to find that my brother had taken her to the park. My dad then blamed me and dh for being angry with my bloody brother and wanted us to apologise for being upset.

My brother has done other stupid things and I really don't trust him any more. It's sad to say that. My father wears the biggest blinkers ever and once told me not to take legal action against a garage for making my car dangerous and causing an accident.

ChipButty Sun 22-Jul-07 09:34:01

I would have been livid.

taxidriver Sun 22-Jul-07 09:34:35

how did it happen

taxidriver Sun 22-Jul-07 09:35:19

did h just come into house and take him?
how scarey

NoBiggy Sun 22-Jul-07 09:36:16

You're not. Whatever his intentions, I think I'm right in saying that legally that's kidnapping. I hope they're all clear now that they're not to do it.

cornsilk Sun 22-Jul-07 09:51:47

How did he take your child without your knowlege? What happened?

hellobello Sun 22-Jul-07 11:03:58

We were at my parents house and my brother came and asked if he could take dd to the park. We said yes. Later he changed his mind and we decided that there wasn't time. He then said he was going home. We assumed that dd was pottering and that my brother had gone home. When we realised that dd was not in the house we phoned my brother who was not at home. My mum ran to the park but didn't see them. It was very very frightening. We were all very shocked that my father should think there was nothing wrong with my brother's behaviour when 3 of us had heard him say that he was going home.

I am so fed-up with the endless lies and deceit that surround my family. I am shocked that my brother cannot accept that anything he does is wrong, and I don't really know how to cope when he gets in touch. My brother has some very serious problems which he won't confront.

Sorry about the rant.

DangerousBeans Sun 22-Jul-07 11:08:44

How old is your DD?

hellobello Sun 22-Jul-07 11:37:18


BreeVanDerCampLGJ Sun 22-Jul-07 11:38:49

How old is your DB and does he have issues ?

NappyValley Sun 22-Jul-07 11:41:28

How frightening and stressful for you.

SaintGeorge Sun 22-Jul-07 11:41:56


Bree, not had your mail (problems at my end) but have seen thread and posted. Thanks.

<<hijack over>>

alicet Sun 22-Jul-07 11:47:52

No YANBU. I too would have been terrified. I think anyone who takes your child anywhere without telling you is well out of order. How were you to know that they were fine out together when you had expressly said they were not to go out as you were leaving to go home soon and your brother had said he was going home?

I wouldn't trust him with her again (or your dad if he thinks this is OK) until they can accept that this was unreasonable

hellobello Sun 22-Jul-07 11:49:34

My brother has serious problems and it's slowly dawning on me that he might actually just be very very stupid. he comes across as an arrogant bully. He quite often cant hold down a job and he's rude to people. When I have spoken to him about getting help he says yes yes and does nothing about it. He lives in a world separate from the rest of us in some weird cocoon. I think it is a very frightening place for him but he will do nothing about it. My parents don't know what to do and my father in particular condones his dreadful behaviour.

He's nearly 40.

helenhismadwife Sun 22-Jul-07 12:33:34

I would have been bloody livid once I knew dd was ok.

The trouble is with family when I am angry or upset with them I cant find the right words to say how upset and angry I am so perhaps write them a letter saying how the whole incident made you feel and that you think the behaviour was unacceptable.

as for apologising yes that should certainly happen but it should be your idiot brother (and father) not you!!

hellobello Sun 22-Jul-07 13:49:23

My family don't 'do' angry or upset. All they can see is happiness and smiles. I found it a fantastically dangerous place to be and have suffered considerably because of it.

It is no longer that my parents behave like the under-5s but that my brother is making no effort whatsoever to grow up and inflicts his babyish behaviour onto everyone else.

I must stop ranting as it's not doing me any good. I am shocked by how my brother's idiocy has affected me. I had really hoped that the family dysfunctions of the past could stay there, but I guess life doesnt work like that. My brother has done far worse things and been far madder than I would like to mention here!

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