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Talk me out of buying this house!

(302 Posts)
RainbowMe Tue 21-May-19 10:41:10

The husband and I have spent the last five years making our house a home, and we've just got it exactly how we want it. We decided the time was also right to start trying for a baby, and are currently in our second two week wait so far. All being well, the plan is for me to give up work and be a stay at home Mum for a good few years before going back to work and possibly thinking about buying a bigger house.

Everything was ticking along nicely, but then... a house came up for sale that I have dreamed of living in since I was a little girl! I told my husband expecting (hoping) that he would tell me not to be silly etc, but he is now more excited about it than I am shock

There are many reasons we should not buy this house...

The biggest one is that it would add 80k into the mortgage. It would stretch us to the absolute limit of what we'd be allowed to borrow and would take the stay at home Mum idea completely off the table.

It has no central heating or mains sewage (storage heaters and a log burner; septic tank). I know these things wouldn't be a big deal to many people, but we'd have no money left to get the heating done and the septic tank would worry me (I am a huge worrier).

The house itself is no bigger or nicer than our current one (both smallish three bed houses of around 1000 square feet). Our house has useful things like a garage and a downstairs loo which this one doesn't.

But this one is in a really special location and is very unique for our area. The garden is like a park and there are no neighbours for about 2 miles in either direction (my absolute dream). It kind of feels like a once in a lifetime opportunity. I know there are other rural properties like it, but very few in my "patch". We already live in a very nice village down the road and I know we are very lucky to have what we've got, but it's not the peaceful rural life I dream of. I know this makes me sound like a spoilt brat and is a nice "first world problem" to have. But I just couldn't sleep last night thinking about this house, and now I can't concentrate on my work either blush

Someone tell me to stop being silly!

Mymomsbetterthanyomom Thu 23-May-19 00:41:34

Are you serious??!!
I'm literally shaking my head at your comment🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤪

ineedtostopbeingsolazy Wed 22-May-19 23:38:47

Babies don’t cost a lot really & there’s part time work

Babies may not cost a lot but children do, especially the older they get. Mine are teenagers and we haemorrhage money

Beekeeper1 Wed 22-May-19 23:18:05

Dexter6000 - thank you so much - you have made mine!

dexter6000 Wed 22-May-19 22:58:13

Beekeeper 1 - fantastic! I could feel myself smiling at the picture you painted and want to move straight in. Beautiful prose. Has made my night.

Erm as for all the “send a link” requests do you maybe suspect OP wants to keep the house a secret in case one of us dashes in and buys it - especially after Beekeeper’s post. In which case my guess is she wants the house wink.

FagashJackie Wed 22-May-19 22:40:26

From what you've said, I'd go for it. I really would for my childhood dream home.

Madcatgirl Wed 22-May-19 22:35:03

Oh OP you have to buy it. I did when the house I’d known as a child, made memories in, and saw sold out of the family after the loss of a grandparent came up for sale. It stretched us and we could barely afford to do anything to it. That being said after two remortgages we had finally built up enough equity to start knocking it about. I don’t regret a thing about this house.

HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo Wed 22-May-19 22:20:35

This thread must be like what's going on inside the OP's head.


Ridiculous to take on so much mortgage.


No neighbours for miles.. what if the baby gets sick?


Storage heaters? No thanks.



Horsemenoftheaclopalypse Wed 22-May-19 22:03:17

We’ve just got a £3,000 pound electricity bill for a quarter using only 3 storage heaters in a 3 bedroom house.

Holy hell
Gas installation MUST be cheaper even over a 5 year period surely!?

Trudij123 Wed 22-May-19 21:58:37

I’m in the “do it” camp.... there’s nothing that can’t be overcome.


PierreBezukov Wed 22-May-19 21:28:08

Link please!

firsttimeoptimist Wed 22-May-19 21:20:36

My house has storage heaters, a log burner, an oil aga and a septic tank. I have never considered changing any. The insulating properties of some period houses mean they retain heat really well -last winter I heated the whole 3 bed from one storage heater and wood/coal in the burner. I have a dual electricity meter system so the storage heater uses the very cheapest electricity. The mortgage would be my deciding factor.

ExtraPineappleExtraHam Wed 22-May-19 21:10:19

On a side note, how do you know that you want to be a SAHM before you've even experienced being a mum? I thought I'd love it but I got PND and dreaded the thought of being alone all day with a baby that cried and having had no sleep. That's with living in a city too! It's lonely, I wouldn't make a decision about returning or not returning to work till after the baby's born.

bubblegumunicorn Wed 22-May-19 20:55:49

One thing I will say is no gas in a property is very expensive I know a few people who have this and the bill are about 4x the cost of people with gas I used to work in the energy industry and all electric could easily come in at £200+ a month so that would add to your outgoings too you really need to consider that when planning a budget!!

DarlingCoffee Wed 22-May-19 20:45:15

Buy the house. We bought our dream house two years ago and yes we have massively stretched ourselves and of course there are still parts that need work. But every day I spend in this house I am just so happy that we did as I love it so much.

NotBeforeCoffee Wed 22-May-19 20:40:42

If this house is no bigger, in a lot worse state and in the same area how come it’s worth so much more than yours?

You’d be mad to do this imho
I’ve recently had a baby and had to go back to work. We aren’t totally broke but live pay cheque to pay cheque with no savings.
Our house isn’t in good condition but no spare money to do it up. We haven’t had a holiday in three years.

I’d love to be in the position you are currently. You’ll be able to have your baby and only worry about that. And honestly it’ll be much nicer to be in a village when you have a small baby, it can be quite isolating. It would be terrible to be isolated, with a baby and in a house that you’re are not comfortable in

SilviaSalmon Wed 22-May-19 20:24:59

Storage heaters can be insanely expensive. We’ve just got a £3,000 pound electricity bill for a quarter using only 3 storage heaters in a 3 bedroom house. That doesn’t include fuel on wood burner, and throughout the period we felt cold most of the time.

Beekeeper1 Wed 22-May-19 20:24:22

If it is your dream.....go view, if it is right then the house will tell you so the moment you walk in, it will wrap its arms around you, welcome you and tell you so! It sounds like my cottage - very unspoilt, even down to the original brick floor in the kitchen, well under the downstairs bathroom floor for water etc - what does it have? Character, quirkiness and uniqueness which can never be replicated in some ghastly boxy new build monstosity, which will probably fall down in fifty years because of poor build quality, despite the 'cannot do without luxuries' of central heating, mains drainage etc.

The cons sound minimal - I fail to understand why a septic tank is regarded as a gift from Lucifer - looked after properly they are not an issue. I have one currently, no problems. My last house had one and I NEVER had to have it emptied in 31 years! Yes, you may need to invest in a set of drain rods and spend an hour or so clearing blockages in the foul drain run every now and again, but, so what?

A large garden is wonderful, why should it be a negative? Unless you want to bring suburbia to the countryside with decking (ugh), close boarded fences (ugh), dreadful bedding plants in regimented rows ( double ugh) and hedges manicured to within an inch of their lives ( which should not even be cut between March and August because of nesting birds) - in which case, yes, there would be a good deal of upkeep. A large country garden does not have to be time consuming, onerous or require bringing someone 'in' to do it for you. Let it be semi natural and a home for wildlife - room for veg plots, herb gardens, chickens ( you will have no neighbours to moan about crowing fact you could keep even noisier livestock like guinea fowl, which lay the most delicious eggs, or even peafowl if you had a mind to! And bees....! The possibilities are endless.

No central what? Strangely enough, only fifty years ago, very few people had central heating! There is a marvellous invention known as clothing, which, I believe, if worn in suitable layers is designed to keep the body warm. Augment that with open fires or (whisper it, as they are un PC) a woodburner and you are well away.

My siblings and I were brought up in a house which had no central heating - in fact, no mains electricity until the late 1970's - I still remember gas lights popping and fizzing away in the kitchen and living room. There was no road access, one had to walk half a mile along a river bank to get to the property, we walked or cycled to school using those appendages known as legs which we evolved with. You know what, we loved it, helping my dad with his bees, helping grow vegetables, mowing the grass, creosoting the chicken houses, collecting eggs ....I could go on. It was fun, we had fun, we made fun and, into the bargain, we learned an appreciation for and love of the natural world and everything in it. We learned to live with mice, spiders, ants, bats, wasps and other insects, all of which seem to throw most people into a histrionic hissy fit. And, guess what, we are all still alive to tell the tale.

No near neighbours for two miles? Bonus! Emergency situation? That is what telephones are for and, contrary to the general consensus on MN, rural people are actually very friendly and helpful, or at least in my experience, that is so. Lo and behold, most country towns also have something called retail outlets where one can buy 'things' such as food, milk, newspapers and other neccessary goods. They also have museums, theatres and other places of 'culture', along with the requisite coffee shops and gyms, which seem to be the yardstick for defining 'civilisation' in the urbancentric world we now live in.

Do it, buy your dream house, lie in bed at night, curtains open, watching the moon's transit across the sky, looking at stars, unimpeded by light pollution, listen to the owls, foxes and nightlife, unhampered by traffic noise! Do it. Do it!

You sound young - you have your whole life ahead of you to make this dream house what you want it to be. Do it.

Good luck, I sincerely hope you are able to make the right decision for you, your family and any children you have who will know the joy of growing up in a natural, rather than a virtual environment. Do it!!!

Grinchly Wed 22-May-19 20:20:54

I think O P said three bed - would that work with ankle biters?

flowergrrl77 Wed 22-May-19 19:59:38

I dunno, if it was a house I’d dreamed of living in, with no neighbours and it was within financial reach (even if only just) I totally reckon I’d have to go for it!

LadySinfiaSnoop Wed 22-May-19 19:57:09

Could you use the house to generate some income? Air b&b?

puppy23 Wed 22-May-19 19:53:43

Is it going to work out in the long term? If your children are going to be two miles plus away from schools, friends, shops etc they're going to be reliant on you for lifts everywhere. I had friends growing up who lived far out and they hated it and felt isolated as they couldn't always just come along to last minute plans etc.

Justaboy Wed 22-May-19 19:45:16

Come on OP either put up a link rightmove is quite annoymouse, or how do you expect to get a reasoned opinion?. Are you still there, hello???

Tavannach Wed 22-May-19 19:43:18

If it's a Guide Price won't they take a lower offer? Just hang on a bit before you offer.

MarchionessOfCholmondeley Wed 22-May-19 19:37:47

I wouldn't rule anything out without looking and carefully looking at finances.

When we last moved house we fell in love with a house which was more than we had initially budgeted for, but were able to put our mortgage tern back to 25 years, which meant the monthly repayments only went up by a small amount. Admittedly, we're at a different stage than you, I was looking to return to work after years of being a SAHM so was happy to take the gamble of a larger mortgage.

Despite moving to a bigger house, weirdly we moved to a lower council band which helped offset some of the increase in mortgage. You can find out this sort of information by googling the valuation office.

Good luck.

HippyMama90 Wed 22-May-19 19:32:02

I need the link!! It'd have to be pretty spectacular to be taking such risks.

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