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Talk me out of buying this house!

(302 Posts)
RainbowMe Tue 21-May-19 10:41:10

The husband and I have spent the last five years making our house a home, and we've just got it exactly how we want it. We decided the time was also right to start trying for a baby, and are currently in our second two week wait so far. All being well, the plan is for me to give up work and be a stay at home Mum for a good few years before going back to work and possibly thinking about buying a bigger house.

Everything was ticking along nicely, but then... a house came up for sale that I have dreamed of living in since I was a little girl! I told my husband expecting (hoping) that he would tell me not to be silly etc, but he is now more excited about it than I am shock

There are many reasons we should not buy this house...

The biggest one is that it would add 80k into the mortgage. It would stretch us to the absolute limit of what we'd be allowed to borrow and would take the stay at home Mum idea completely off the table.

It has no central heating or mains sewage (storage heaters and a log burner; septic tank). I know these things wouldn't be a big deal to many people, but we'd have no money left to get the heating done and the septic tank would worry me (I am a huge worrier).

The house itself is no bigger or nicer than our current one (both smallish three bed houses of around 1000 square feet). Our house has useful things like a garage and a downstairs loo which this one doesn't.

But this one is in a really special location and is very unique for our area. The garden is like a park and there are no neighbours for about 2 miles in either direction (my absolute dream). It kind of feels like a once in a lifetime opportunity. I know there are other rural properties like it, but very few in my "patch". We already live in a very nice village down the road and I know we are very lucky to have what we've got, but it's not the peaceful rural life I dream of. I know this makes me sound like a spoilt brat and is a nice "first world problem" to have. But I just couldn't sleep last night thinking about this house, and now I can't concentrate on my work either blush

Someone tell me to stop being silly!

IceRebel Tue 21-May-19 10:46:42

It has no central heating... we'd have no money left to get the heating done

No central heating in the winter with a potential newborn... You're mad. shock

You've spent 5 years getting this house perfect, can you imagine spending another 5 or more years doing the same all over again? Also please don't underestimate how useful a downstairs toilet is when you have a young child.

user1486915549 Tue 21-May-19 10:47:26

Buy it, it may never come up again !
Oops. I don’t think I am being very helpful.

thetemptationofchocolate Tue 21-May-19 10:48:26

It sounds perfect to me - sorry, that's not the kick up the arse you wanted but I would love this too smile
As far as a septic tank goes...our house has one of these. We've lived here for a long time and the tank has not been an issue really. All you have to do is make sure you don't flush away anything that you shouldn't. So human waste, toilet paper, OK. Anything else, not OK. If the tank works as it should, then it takes a long time to get to the point of needing to be emptied, I mean years, not months.

MRex Tue 21-May-19 10:49:38

Location matters, that kind of space you might not come across again.

Let's go through the budget. £80k extra on the mortgage, plus how much to fix it up? How much do you have in savings and spare each month both now and as SAHM?

VanillaCoconutDove Tue 21-May-19 10:49:54

You’re mad!

This really is a my little pony young girl dream, and that’s it. Don’t underestimate how hard you’ve worked to make your current home perfect. This home will not make you happy. Being cold won’t make you happy. Being poor won’t make you happy. Going to work full time and returning to a cold home won’t make you happy. Traipsing a baby/toddler up the time a dozen times a day to use the bathroom. That’s what the reality would be. This isn’t your house, not at this time anyway.

MagicalTwinky Tue 21-May-19 10:50:15

Have you actually viewed the house yet or is your excitement just based on it being your childhood dream house? If it's the latter I'd book a viewing and see if you still like it as much as you think you do once you've had a proper look around.

ChariotsofFish Tue 21-May-19 10:53:28

How old are you? Do you have time to work for a few more years before TTC? If it’s right at the top of what you can borrow are you sure you’d get that much? Are you sure your current house would sell for enough?

Plump82 Tue 21-May-19 10:54:05

I wouldnt do it purely for the fact it has storage heaters and you're not in a position to change that right away. Ive had a place that had storage heaters and in the depth of wintet its utterly miserable and so, so expensive.

thecatsthecats Tue 21-May-19 10:56:11


I'm REALLY not helping the OP here, but all those things and more were true for my parents. And all those things and more weren't insurmountable (and in many cases, only imagined) obstacles.

I had an absolutely magical childhood there, and they're still very happy there now, as I am when we visit.

TokyoSushi Tue 21-May-19 10:57:05

Have you viewed it? How old are you? Could you wait for a little longer to TTC to save a bit more money to do it up?

AlyssasBackRolls Tue 21-May-19 10:57:58

I'd do it. You've got a big dream - lots of them actually, and this one can be realised - this is quite rare in life! It may take you longer to get pregnant than you think so you may be working anyway... House prices aren't going to go down. Do it and do it soon. If you get pregnant tomorrow there's still 9 months before a baby appears all being well so you've a little time to throw into renovation - as long as you crack on and don't try to go to Grand Designs on it.

Having said that, just renovating a dream home seems to get the Grand Design participants pregnant - you always see them in their maternity dungarees in the caravan whilst waiting for the hemp roofing to be delivered from Budapest grin.

AlyssasBackRolls Tue 21-May-19 10:59:43

Having said all that the garden like a park would put me off tbh, I can't ever be arsed to mow my handkerchief like terrace back lawn, maintaining that amount of nature would terrify me but I am a resolute townie.

NotAgainKen Tue 21-May-19 11:02:19

On the positive side, if you've just done up your current house it's probably the best time to sell it?

No central heating is a major concern that you'd have to factor into any offer, but septic tanks aren't such a big issue; every house I've lived in for the past 20 years has had one and nothing's gone wrong yet. touch wood

I agree with PP suggesting viewing, at least - you might find that looking at it with adult eyes, especially now you know a bit more about what it takes to get a house right, takes the sheen off it.

MissDollyMix Tue 21-May-19 11:03:38

I say do it!! You're not pregnant yet. That can take a while. Life is short, don't have regrets. You will make it work. It sounds like you're both in it together which is the most important thing. (sorry, I'm not really helping am I!)

Poppyfields21 Tue 21-May-19 11:05:04

Going to be super unhelpful....I’d buy it.

petrocellihouse Tue 21-May-19 11:07:26

I think we need to see the house before we really can comment smile

bibbitybobbityyhat Tue 21-May-19 11:07:55

Do you think your future child or children would be happy living somewhere so remote? What about that long school run/nursery run (as you won't be able to sahm). What about when they want to go to after school clubs or round to other people's houses after school, or invite other children back to yours? You will be a taxi service and that could be difficult if you are working full time.

Once you give up work and don't speak to anyone all day you might find you miss the company you can get from walking into a small town or village.

Having to get little one into a car every single time you want to go out anywhere ... when will you exercise?

Interest rates are set to rise and rise again ...

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis Tue 21-May-19 11:08:18

I think you should look
I think you should indulge the fantasy for a while
Then do the sums and work out in actual detail what doing it would mean.
And decide if its worth it. Armed with the reality .

crosspelican Tue 21-May-19 11:08:44

Go for it. 20 years from now the minor inconveniences will be a distant memory and you will have your dream house.

H2OH20Everywhere Tue 21-May-19 11:08:48

Sounds good to me! We have a septic tank and it works fine. No problems at all during the last 15 years. Only one I've known that's had to be emptied was full of sanitary towels.

2 miles before hitting people - sounds like paradise to me!

Jinglejanglefish Tue 21-May-19 11:08:59

Do you have a link? I only click on these threads to see the house...

RainbowMe Tue 21-May-19 11:10:14

Wow thank you for all the responses - some what I wanted to hear and others not so much grin

To answer some questions:

Cosmetically the house is in very good order and seems to have been well looked after. I think the heating is the only major expense.

We've got £30k in savings but I know a chunk of that would go on moving costs. If we couldn't get the max mortgage then we'd also need some to top up the deposit, and I'd be a bit nervous of having £0 savings.

Current truly disposable income (after absolutely every little has been paid for, from the TV license to a yearly holiday) is £400 per month and we feel that we live really comfortably. It would be the same if I was a stay at home Mum as I don't earn much and my whole salary goes to savings. If our bills (esp mortgage) went up by 2-300 then we wouldn't be left with much at all.

Haven't viewed the house yet but sent the estate agent an email expressing interest and asking a couple of questions.

In terms of TTC, we didn't even want to leave it this long to be honest. I am 30 and my parents took ten years to conceive me. It was never clear what the problem was so it does worry me that we may have problems too.

Alyssas you are so right about Grand Designs and them always being pregnant lol!!

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis Tue 21-May-19 11:10:48

oh yes link please

HollowTalk Tue 21-May-19 11:11:04

It's a fantasy house that would mean that your other fantasy of being a SAHM wouldn't happen. You'd be working and those two miles just to get to the next house would add more time onto your commute. I would just keep it as a fantasy.

spiderlight Tue 21-May-19 11:13:43

Much as I'd love to live two miles from neighbours, this might not be great when you have an older child and nobody ever knocks for them to go out to play. It would be a complete pain having to pre-arrange and drive to play-dates with friends all through the summer holidays.

Dustyroad63 Tue 21-May-19 11:13:50

Go for it. I've waited all my life to be where I live now. In the countryside with no neighbours and fantastic views over fields and hills.
Sounds like it was meant to be. Grab the chance.

PanamaPattie Tue 21-May-19 11:13:59

Go for a viewing. It might be a like a piece of shit and you'll be glad you've avoided it. It might of course be your dream house. Septic tanks and storage heaters are not the end of the world. I've got both and I live in a detached house with 4 beds and 3 reception rooms and I don't turn all the heaters on - unless it's snowing or sub zero as it's too warm with them all on. Ive also got an open fire. I love it in the winter.

Sorry I'm not helping.

Dodie66 Tue 21-May-19 11:14:06

Go for it. Inwokuld want to if I had always dreamt about having it

MzHz Tue 21-May-19 11:16:39

I live in the country on the edge of a village. It’s a big house and when we had the heating sorted out we had no boiler for a week during a bloody cold snap.

The log burners did the job to keep us warm. I’m not saying we were toasty, but it was doable, with planning to make sure you’ve got wood in and electric blankets, you’d be fine in the meantime. I’d say go for it if you can and in a short while you should be able to update the heating.

Is the lack of central heating reflected In the price?

MzHz Tue 21-May-19 11:18:10

Oh and another one saying don’t even lose a second’s sleep over septic tank, they are so much more reliable than they were and much more common - so any issues are resolved easily

BessieBumptiousness Tue 21-May-19 11:18:27

I'd do it. I don't think central heating is an issue, actually. Assuming that the property is old, it will likely have thick walls? In which case, the house will retain heat in winter and be cool in summer (our is). We have a 2 bed cottage (and a lot of land) like this with only a log burner and 2 storage heaters (currently renovating) and it's toasty warm. Expensive, yes, because of the storage heaters but you can make changes over the years if it's your dream home.

We are also rural. It's bloody perfect in summer and takes me back to my childhood dreams of country lanes and no cars, but come winter? The mud!! I'm unable to get from my car to the house without some part of me getting filthy; hands when closing the car doors because the car is permanently muddy; shoes, clothes.... you get the picture. It's a trek to the shops but a massive chest freezer has remedied that little issue.

But... I wouldn't swap it for anything. I love it. You can keep your modern executive homes on housing estates grin

Cresci12 Tue 21-May-19 11:18:36

Nope. I wouldn't do it because I did do it and it nearly cost me my marriage and I didn't get to enjoy my newborn because of all the added stress. Baby had awful reflux, I had awful PND. DH was hugely stressed by all the money worries and living so close to the wire. I would trade anything for giving you and your baby the best start possible. You can always find another house. You won't ever get that time back.

FFSFFSFFS Tue 21-May-19 11:20:45

Buy it!!!!!!!!

thegreatcrestednewt Tue 21-May-19 11:20:59

No way. Sometimes you have to be practical. And this is one of those times. If that house is meant for you, it will come up for sale again in 20 years...

Think about life with a dc where you have to drive everywhere. Not ideal. And the financial aspects would worry me too. And you've just spent years making your current house lovely!

ScruffGin Tue 21-May-19 11:20:59

Go and have a look at it, you may decide you don't want it.

I'm useless to you though, as we bought our dream house, needed a lot doing to it, way above our max budget, did get pregnant during the renovations and moved in 5 days before DD was born... DP spent paternity leave fixing the heating grin
Was definitely worth it though, we love it

IwantedtobeEmmaPeel Tue 21-May-19 11:21:08

Having a garden like a park won't make up for not having a garage, downstairs loo and central heating. How long would it take you to afford to install CH - is there even gas connected to the property?
You could always get your house valued and go from there. Oh and don't assume you will be paying the full price, in today's market and following a full survey, you might get it well below the asking price.
Are you prepared to put off having children while you save and get the house up to scratch and do you love gardening?

viques Tue 21-May-19 11:21:37

Lets get it straight , the house is no larger than your current one, is a poorer layout, has poorer facilities that need expensive updating, there is no need for you to move due to work or other commitments, the mortgage would stretch you to the limit (not to mention survey,solicitors, moving costs) and buying the house would put paid to your dreams of the family life you envisaged.

In fact the only things you say in its favour is that the garden is like a park (good luck with keeping that in order ) and there are no neighbours for miles. (Great news if you have an emergency, the car won't start and there's snow on the ground) . I think you need better reasons for buying it than these.

If houses in the area don't come up very often I'm willing to bet the present owners have done little to improve the house in the time they have owned it (storage heaters!!! Its 2019!) . Go to a viewing by all means , but use your head not your heart. It sounds as though it deserves to be bought by someone with the wherewithal to improve it, and at the moment that might not be you.

RainbowMe Tue 21-May-19 11:24:35

HollowTalk that's exactly what I said to my husband last night, it would be fulfilling one dream at the cost of another.

MzHz I'm not sure to be quite honest, it's so hard to put a price on it because there's nothing much to compare it to. I would say it's possibly not worth quite as much as the asking price, but then it is a "guide price".

I noticed the hob is electric and I'm wondering if there is no gas supply.

Cresci I'm sorry to hear about your experience. I hope things are better for you now. It is helpful to hear the other side, thank you for sharing flowers

madcatladyforever Tue 21-May-19 11:26:23

Don't do it, some dreams are just bloody stupid.
I dreamt of owning a house on the national park and doing it up over the last 10 years means I'm paying for it into retirement with no money for anything else and I'm pissed off I did it.
The joy of living here does not outweigh my financial problems and I'll have to sell up. I won't make the money back fully.
When your baby arrives you will understand how much more important it is to have time with him/her rather than bricks and mortar and who is going to mow and manage this massive amount of land?
I can see the horror unfolding and you will so regret not being a SAHM with huge childcare costs and no central heating. Trust me the excitement of the fabulous dream soon wears off. I can't wait to get rid of this place now I'm fed up to the back teeth of it.

BessieBumptiousness Tue 21-May-19 11:27:45

All that said, there have been times when I've said "what the hell have we done?". And I only have my DH and DDog to consider...

RainbowMe Tue 21-May-19 11:27:49

viques - thank you for your very realistic post smile
The only thing I would say is that cosmetically it looks perfect, the kitchen and bathroom are gorgeous. It does make the storage heaters stand out a bit.

userxx Tue 21-May-19 11:28:55

Adding £80k onto your mortgage for a house no bigger than your current one seems mad to me.

LeopardPrintKnickers Tue 21-May-19 11:30:00

Oh OP, go and look at it. Then you know what it is you're considering. At the moment, you like the photos and the location and if you decide not to go for it, you might torment yourself with 'what if' for years. Go and look and then make an informed decision, as you'll know if it feels right or not.

Go and look, and then report back!

HarryRug Tue 21-May-19 11:30:03

Go and look at it and if you still like it go for it. I had a newborn shortly after we moved into a wreck with no heating. We got plug in portable heaters and coped fine. We had to wash baby in a sink but it was all fine. I was then pregnant with DC2 when we demolished our house and rebuilt it from scratch. Although maternity leave was hard because we had builders in and the stress of the build it was manageable. We have our dream home. You will regret it if you do not so it. If you buy it and it’s all too much you can sell it and maybe lose some money. Not the end of the world. Slightly off topic but you have no idea whether you will want to be a SAHM as you haven’t yet spent hours with a screaming baby. I couldn’t get back to work fast enough with DC1. Go for it. Having your dream home is a wonderful experience.

handslikecowstits Tue 21-May-19 11:30:18

The biggest one is that it would add 80k into the mortgage. It would stretch us to the absolute limit of what we'd be allowed to borrow

This is the bit that jumps out at me and would concern me deeply. There's a saying that in RL, I trot out ad nauseum - man plans, god laughs and it's true. If something in your life goes wrong and you've mortgaged yourself to the hilt, you're fucked.

SirVixofVixHall Tue 21-May-19 11:31:42

Almost certainly no gas. You could have bottled gas though, that is an easy fit, if you want a gas hob.
The main thing is that being two miles from any near neighbour could be pretty stressful with a new baby, if you are home alone all day, or there is an emergency.
Otherwise I would say go for it.

Peanutbutterforever Tue 21-May-19 11:32:20

V likely to be no gas supply. Oil ch is v good but expensive. Regularly emptied septic tank should be no bother.

Parkland grass pretty but will need ride on mower.

I've just moved from a renovated version of your dream house because there were no bus route for my dd to use when she gets older.

StrongTea Tue 21-May-19 11:33:52

We have septic tank, no problems with it. We do not have central heating but storage heaters and log burner and survive. You could possibly run central heating from your existing log burner or could put a higher kw one in. We do not have mains gas, despite the fact the gas supply runs past our house we are not near a gas main. If you have storage heaters you should have economy7 or possible economy10 which means cheap rate during the night and normal rate daily. Ask the folk for an idea of their heating costs.

ElsieMc Tue 21-May-19 11:34:04

If you are young then go for it op. What is important is a viewing because houses have a feel about them and whilst it seems a fairytale now, it might not be in reality. I am at the other end of the scale from you and it is now time to let ours go.

We bought with all the problems you are mentioning, even hideous crittle windows. We have a septic tank and well things can go wrong and they do. Much better since dd's moved out who flushed facial wipes etc down the loo. You can't use bleach either. Your dh will just have to brace himself to "rod" it occasionally but it is very rare. Our super-lovely septic tank emptier generally tells me he had rodded it but it might need a bit more (bork). Remember, this costs as well about £150.

We also have oil c/h. Think of it as filling a car up price wise.

I would give anything not to have near neighbours and we live in a semi rural spot. Hope you make the right decision for you op, but I would say our house is for a couple in their thirties. It also has a large garden but you get used to it and dh mows it now in abut 30 mins.

UpToonGirl Tue 21-May-19 11:34:45

I would find this a difficult situation! If you did but it do you think this would be a long term home? What if you had twins or wanted another child or two in the next few years, would it still be suitable? What is it like for nursery/schools?

Do you think it will have a lot of interest? Could you barter them right down on price?

BrainScience Tue 21-May-19 11:34:51

Dh and I did similar recently - a house I used to walk past on the way to school and dream about living in. We got it in January and had 100k spare to do it up. There was a family living in it so we figured it couldn’t be that bad. Absolutely everything we’ve had done has cost more than double the original estimate due to working around listed bits, pulling panelling off and finding asbestos, finding that the walls were being held up by a pane of glass and completely collapsed when we were getting double glazing fitted. We’ve spent all our money and still don’t have central heating yet. Still worth it though.

Mooey89 Tue 21-May-19 11:35:47

We need to see a link oP grin

DarlingNikita Tue 21-May-19 11:36:59

Parkland grass pretty but will need ride on mower.

Unless the OP intends to let it be more of a meadow with wildflowers and lots of bees. That's what I'd do with a large garden.

I'd say go and see it. You may get a gut feeling either way.

I must say I'd worry about being so far from anyone else (for emergencies, times when you need something from the shop, just general sanity, and for when your child(ren) get bigger and having a big garden in the middle of nowhere might not be so appealing to them. If there's good public transport, fine, otherwise I'd be wary.

mydogisthebest Tue 21-May-19 11:37:58

I would not consider somewhere with no heating unless I could afford to have it installed.

I don't agree about oil heating. We now have oil and it is so much cheaper than gas ever was.

I also would not consider it if it means you can't be a sahm.

As others have said having no near neighbours could be a problem if there was some sort of emergency. Also could be a pain when child(ren) get older.

I am biased though. Lived 40 years in London no problems then moved to a house in the country a mile or so from any neighbours. We got burgled twice in 3 months. I hated it there after that. We had an alarm fitted after the first burglary. Made no difference though

Fundays12 Tue 21-May-19 11:38:54

Nope because when you have to leave your little baby to go to work to pay for the house if may not be so appealing or when you are struggling to keep the house warm with a newborn it will become a nightmare.

My parents built there dream home and it was lovely and big. The reality was I spent years in childcare missing my parents barely seeing them as they worked really long hours to pay for it. I have very little childhood memories of them around as they weren’t. The house had no kids around my age for me to play with so I was exceptionally lonely. It was slightly out of town so I couldn’t get anywhere easily. The stress of it all made my dad drink and there marriage fell apart. The house was no home it became a burden for all the family including us kids who just wanted parents that spent some time us. I know this is the extreme side of things but it was reality for us.

Bigsighall Tue 21-May-19 11:40:23

I would go look (and probably buy it!) it sounds lovely. You’ll get used to the heating altho not ideal, it’ll be fine

Didiusfalco Tue 21-May-19 11:41:49

I think you need to get inside and see if you both feel it when you are in there. You may find that you don’t want it in the same way once you have had a proper look.

BlueThesaurusRex Tue 21-May-19 11:42:49

We’re doing this OP! But only adding an extra 13k to the mortgage so it’s a little less scary!

House has solar panels and air source heating which is a big change for us.

The location and the space was worth it for us.

RomanyQueen1 Tue 21-May-19 11:45:33

Go for it, the septic tank is nothing you just pay somebody once a year or 6 months if shared.

We didn't have heating with a newborn, and he's the toughest of all our kids. grin just keep them warm, not too hot and you're fine.

PatricksRum Tue 21-May-19 11:50:44

Link please grin

BarrenFieldofFucks Tue 21-May-19 11:51:39

The lack of heating etc wouldn't bother me.

The space and isolation would be a big plus for me.

Do you like gardening?

My only concern would be the needing to go back to work to fund it. Not the actual going back to work, but how you may feel about the decision later. If it is what you both wanted now that must be for a reason?

I would look at it, crunch some numbers.

notapizzaeater Tue 21-May-19 11:51:45

It's the silly things, no popping to the shops, pub, neighbours etc that I needed. Add the isolation with a newborn as well. Have you checked council tax rates as might be extra as well. Storage heaters work but are expensive to run.

Inmyvestandpants Tue 21-May-19 11:53:03

Re the mortgage: are there prospects for promotion / pay rises for either of you? Some advice I was given was to stretch yourself financially for a mortgage, because it only feels tight for a few years. (I think this only really works if you are in jobs that pay according to experience, where you know you will be climbing the ladder so to speak.)

Definitely go and look and then decide. You might look and realise it's not the place you dreamed of.

PavoReal Tue 21-May-19 11:53:28

I took on a rental property for a couple of years in an idyllic spot with a huge garden. Don't underestimate the time or cost it would take to even basically keep on top of it. I'm south coast and it needed mowing March to October so only 4 months of the year when it didn't need much attention. During those months I was mowing for at least an hour a week (I didn't buy a ride on mower which would have been better) but if finances are going to be stretched then a ride on mower might not be in your budget anyway. My quote for a weekly mow with the grass taken away was £40 a week. I look back at the photos now and miss the place, as does my son but it was hard work!

fruitbrewhaha Tue 21-May-19 11:54:35

I think you need to access the cost of living in this house.

I septic tank has an annual service charge. If it's an old style one with a soak away, these are no longer legal to install, so if and when you need to replace it, you have to put in a new more hygenic system which cost ££££.

Installing oil central heating and a tank is thousands you need to factor in. Although you could do a ground souce heat from your land. But thats even more money up front. The annual running cost are expensive.

The garden will also have annual running costs. You can do a lot of work yourselves, but if there are lots of hedges and trees you may to to bring in some help. I know of people that spend a thousand or two a year on tree work etc.

Is there potential to make the house bigger in the furture. It would seem like the sensible plan for your family would be to move to a larger home perhaps after having children, as 1000 sq ft is small.

Is it walkable into the vilage? You may find having to get into the car to go anywhere less of a boon with a baby in a pushchair. Plus it is nice for kids to have neighbours to play with. We lived on the endge of the village up a lane with no neighbours but have moved into the village, I love that to kids can go and knock on a door for someone to play with.

LonelyTiredandLow Tue 21-May-19 11:56:06

View the house first.
If still keen get an agent in to value yours and highlight the extras.
Talk to parents about potential costs/childcare and see what they would be able to help with without burdening them - this will give you a more realistic idea of childcare costs/any funds that they may want you to have.
Make sure you get a full survey - no point having a dream home if there are underlying issues that will cost you far more in the long run.
If nothing has put you off after all of this then I say go for it wink but maybe delay the TTC for another year to get your bearings.

FairfaxAikman Tue 21-May-19 11:57:09

I wouldn't do it. Not just because of no central heating and no downstairs loo, but while isolated living is fine as an adult and if you can drive as a kid it sucks.
I lived rurally and my friends either had to rely on parents to come over or had to leave early to catch a bus. Or if in town I had to leave early to get the last bus.
The internet, crap as it was back then was even worse in the sticks and there was often fuck all to do.

flowerstar19 Tue 21-May-19 11:58:03

Just a thought about storage heating, I know everyone seems anti it but my parents have it in their home, they have been there 30+ years and it's fine, always warm. The only thing that is annoying is the delay in results when turning it up/down but it really has never been an issue and they could have easily afforded to replace it. Their electricity bill isn't too bad either!

Good luck OP! Tricky decision! Xxx

Pythonesque Tue 21-May-19 11:58:43

A few additional thoughts (most of mine having already been covered!)
- do you like gardening? (I presume yes!)
- what potential is there to extend the house in the future - if finances allow and family circumstances require - any restrictions on this?

Impatienceismyvirtue Tue 21-May-19 12:00:10

Pretty sure OP won’t be posting a link - if it were me, I wouldn’t want to share it with any number of potential competitors for my dream home either!

RunningLondon Tue 21-May-19 12:03:40

I love the idea of being out in the sticks, no neighbours etc.

But realistically, I have 2 kids. I’m already a taxi service, being further out of my village would mean this is the situ for even longer, as even as teenagers, they wouldn’t be able to get out to their friends/school independently etc

horizontalis Tue 21-May-19 12:04:22

If you don't do it, you might spend the rest of your life kicking yourself.

If you do go for it, then who knows what the future might bring.

At least investigate everything really thoroughly and make lists of all the pros and cons (especially the cons) and look long and hard at the sacrifices you are prepared to make, and those that would make your life harder.

Then toss a coin. Best of 3. If you get to 3 and it is a no, how do you feel? Do you want to keep going and try best of 5 in the hope it comes out different?

RhubarbTea Tue 21-May-19 12:07:02

I think if you can haggle them down a bit so you are pushing yourself a bit less to your max financially, then you should buy it. Some houses are almost like people and they just call to you.

Realise I am not helping at all. Sorry grin I think advice to view it is sensible, just in case it's shit.

Also, not to be a downer but some people take years to conceive and some never do, so don't assume it will happen for you guys instantly. I think you need to at least explore this house dream a little more or you'll always wonder what if. At least if you don't end up doing it, you will be able to make peace with that and move on.

Collaborate Tue 21-May-19 12:14:43

It's quite possible the septic tank will become unlawful to use by 1st January 2020. See this

pinkdelight Tue 21-May-19 12:15:13

It'll be a nightmare. Fine if you could still be a SAHM, but living 2miles from anywhere while needing to use childcare and do schoolruns massively outweighs the childhood dream element. Your existing home sounds perfect, way better for starting a family. That's your next project, you've got it all planned out and I'd be wondering why you're considering nuking that vision for a house that has very few pro's and a lot of cons. Sounds like a last min procrastination kinda thing, exciting in the moment but storing up a world of aggro for the future. Honestly, the number of mums on here who bemoan their rural haven when the reality of school/transport kicks in. Don't do it. Childhood dreams are for children. You want to be a mum. Live that dream now.

Aguamenti Tue 21-May-19 12:15:37

makes a pros and cons list

1-ideal location
2-beautiful design
3- dream house
4- no neighbours
5-Big garden

1- way about your budget, affects savings and adds to debt and this is just the mortgage. Big houses require up keep as well.
2- You will have to work after having baby for God knows how long
3- big garden means being on top of gardening. Are you sure you are up for it especially if you are going to have kids? Even a small garden takes a lot of work with weeding, planting, moving and cleaning.
4- no neighbours means that if you need urgent help from a neighbour you will be stuck. It's not always a blessing to not have anyone around you.
5- Heating costs! Seems like it's an old house which will mean your heatings costs will increase considerably more than what you expect and you only have £400 pm to live on. Throw a baby in the mix and it will be even less

So somethings are nice to have but that's it. Be sensible about your decisions especially if you are also planning to have kids.

yourestandingonmyneck Tue 21-May-19 12:16:26

Be aware that mat leave (and then being a stay at home mum) can be very isolating.

It's something I didn't think about before I had kids, but please don't underestimate the difference between being alone with a baby, with no neighbours / amenities for 2 miles, vs being able to chat to neighbours in the garden/driveway/walking along the road.

Hotterthanahotthing Tue 21-May-19 12:17:24

We moved to a house like this before DD was born.It was fantastic place to bring up a child.Her friends loved the garden so no shortage of play dates,building dens.
Log burners are fine and easy to light.Keeping downstairs warm is easy and really you only need the baby's room slightly warmer in winter and your storage heaters will do that.
The septic tank is great,no drainage and sewage bills just water,(which probably not be metered).
For cooking an induction hob is better than gas(and safer with children around.
Go for it,delay TTC for a year or so until you're settled.
As for ferrying children around that happens anyway in towns and cities due to traffic.Going upstairs to the toilet has never killed anyone and telephones still work rurally in case of emergencies.

CatCatDog Tue 21-May-19 12:17:28

Have you seen the film The Money Pit? wink

BogglesGoggles Tue 21-May-19 12:18:01

We have space heaters and no downstairs loo. It’s fine.

Drogosnextwife Tue 21-May-19 12:18:12

I really can't make a decision until you link the house. I love a good nosey inside a house.

Yogagirl123 Tue 21-May-19 12:18:16

If it’s your dream house go for it! You will regret it if you don’t.

Hotterthanahotthing Tue 21-May-19 12:22:36

Forgot today we had 2 neighbours but never saw them much as they worked.
Having a big garden is great,we had a big veg patch,a flowery,pretty bit in front of the back door and grass,trees space that children could run smock in.Sheds to store all manner of things.
People are being negative but you already know the area so follow your dreams.

OnePotMeal Tue 21-May-19 12:25:21

I think it sounds bloody lovely! But then, I'm a bit off-grid myself. Septic tanks are fine, but storage heaters not so much. It's not the end of the world to be off mains gas, though. I cook on halogen but would ideally like an aga or raeburn. If you're rethinking central heating without gas, I'd look outside the box at solar or geothermic myself. You may want to find out where the water supply comes from, as agricultural supplies or similar can mean informal arrangements with landowners who have never heard of minimum service level agreements... A huge garden like a park sounds like a wonderful place to bring up children. Worth working a few extra years for, I'd say. I'm surprised how negative a lot of people have been.

Post a link if you decide not to go for it, OP, so we can all have the opportunity to snap it up instead of you!

letsdolunch321 Tue 21-May-19 12:27:16

My gut feeling says don't do it especially if ttc.

You have a lovely home currently and savings - why throw that all away.

Waterandlemonjuice Tue 21-May-19 12:35:03

Id go for it. You’re not even pregnant yet, you can afford it, albeit stretching to the maximum and I think you’re more likely to regret not doing it than doing it.

BessieBumptiousness Tue 21-May-19 12:35:11

Collaborate That doesn't apply to existing septic tank designs, only new or replacement.

pinkdelight Tue 21-May-19 12:37:35

You even say that in a few years you'd be thinking about a bigger house. This house is no bigger. So it's not even likely to be your forever home. Honestly, if it was a great house I'd get the draw, but it's no bigger than your house and full of drawbacks. Why chuck away your savings, security and the years of being a SAHM? Makes no sense.

GreenTulips Tue 21-May-19 12:38:03

Think about oil central heating - cheaper than gas

BessieBumptiousness Tue 21-May-19 12:38:53

Op please please post a link!! I promise I don't want another one to add to my current woes grin

Itsmellslikefr3shgrass Tue 21-May-19 12:39:16

I've lived in a house with only log burner & no central heating for a few years, it was freezing. There are grants available to put in efficient heating. You may have to pay up front & claim the heating grant back

TheGirlWithGlassFeet Tue 21-May-19 12:39:37

I would go and look at it. Personally I would probably buy it if it's the dream house. 80k extra doesn't seem a lot more for the dream house.

It may not have a gas supply to the property if it is rural. You can have one put in but it may be expensive. You may find that the current heating arrangement if effective enough.

AryaStarkWolf Tue 21-May-19 12:39:52

I'd buy it :p

Oliversmumsarmy Tue 21-May-19 12:42:10

Would you even get a mortgage?

Drogosnextwife Tue 21-May-19 12:43:48

I wouldn't buy it OP. The only good thing about it is its away from other people which I would love as well. From your OP there really are no ther good points about it.

motherheroic Tue 21-May-19 12:45:45

If it stretches you to your limit how are you going to afford the expenses of a child? Or anything that happens to go wrong with the car etc?

findmeatyoga Tue 21-May-19 12:47:32

Can we get a link - I wanna see this place!

Collaborate Tue 21-May-19 12:49:48

@BessieBumptiousness You need to read the link I posted. Existing STs need to be replaced by 1.1.20 if they discharge directly to surface water.

BumandChips Tue 21-May-19 12:55:24

Our mortgage advisor said never go to your limit. Can you maintain a garden like a park? It’s a lot of work. Oil is expensive. My parents buy it once a year but it’s costs a lot. Living really rurally can be a pain in the arse, is there any local transport for when your future children are teenagers? Schools? Have you taken the rose tinted glasses off and thought practically?

I want a link!

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