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is ??? rude??? Well, is it??

(46 Posts)
bigbadbadger Mon 20-May-19 16:53:14

I am self employed and I work 6 days a week but have Sunday off to spend with my family. In the last few years a number of my clients have become very demanding, insisting on answers to non urgent questions immediately. I have informed them that I do not work at all on a Sunday and turn my work phone off. This doesn't deter a few and this morning I turned on my phone to see:

"Can you do Wednesday 12th instead of Tues 11th, same time"
"I can not longer do Wed, please advise"

I called her this morning and she was very breezy, we changed the appointment. I reminded her I do not have my work phone on a Sunday and she said "Oh I was sorting the diary out, it's not a big deal"
So why send me so many texts?

Others regularly do this too. Is it rude or am I old fashioned and out of touch. I feel a bit out of the loop, like I've missed something that's changed in communication. AIBU to not respond to clients on a Sunday?

Thank you

Bloodybridget Mon 20-May-19 16:55:49

Yes very rude to text repeatedly pushing you for a reply on a Sunday. Once, not so bad, then she should have waited.

Canshopwillshop Mon 20-May-19 16:56:48

YANBU. I think the client was being rude. You deserve one day off a week with your family without having to think about work issues.

Passthecherrycoke Mon 20-May-19 16:58:39

I think when you run a business it’s up to you to manage your time off and when you respond, not them. So they can text when they like, and you respond when you like also.

Her messages are VERY annoying, but as you say, you turn your phone off and that’s that. I presume you have a separate work phone?

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Mon 20-May-19 16:58:39

It's rude and naughty of them. You have told them, and you are not an emergency service. It's very self-centred.

outsho Mon 20-May-19 16:58:46

YANBU. It’s rude to do this to anyone let alone someone you know in a professional capacity. You text once and wait for a response unless it’s super urgent then you call. She knew your phone was off so shouldn’t have pushed it.

pilates Mon 20-May-19 16:59:12

Yes it’s rude.
A sign of the times I’m afraid. People are so demanding and their expectations are unreasonable.

AmIRightOrAMeringue Mon 20-May-19 17:01:39

Hi OP I dont know if its possible to set up an automated response on messages similar to an out of office reply on email?

But yes its rude

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Mon 20-May-19 17:03:06

I think it was ever thus unfortunately. In the time before mobiles were common, I worked for myself, and the business was linked to a home landline, not justifying a separate business one. The number of people who thought there ishoo was urgent at the weekend. It really wasn't. Thank heaven for seperate mobiles and dual-sims I say grin

CSIblonde Mon 20-May-19 17:06:10

I think you're right to not respond & they're trying it on. I do know tho that in Banking my friends boss texts & calls re anything & everything up to 11.30 at night & on weekends & she'd be out the door if she didn't pick up. It's just expected. She stays because the moneys amazing & she has no family she needs to be present for. I'd find it grim myself. I never drank the koolaid when I contracted in investment banking. Soul destroying.

Passthecherrycoke Mon 20-May-19 17:06:47

You’ve reminded me of my childhood sponge. Answer the landline “hello is x (my dad, the SE person) there?” Me shouting “dad? Are you in?” Dad: “no” 🤣🤣🤣

Kazzz65 Mon 20-May-19 17:07:42

It's rude to keep texting wanting a reply on the day but it isn't to leave a message which can be picked up on Monday

Cautionsharpblade Mon 20-May-19 17:07:56

Ha ha I was just complaining about this the other day! Customers simply messaging ‘?’ when you’ve taken a few hours to reply. The last one came at 9pm on bank holiday Monday, after the customer had taken 5 weeks to reply to my original message. I was so annoyed by it that I turned down her order.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Mon 20-May-19 17:08:21


Winegumaddict Mon 20-May-19 17:10:38

Yes it's rude. I do often email small businesses at a weekend as that is convenient for me however I don't expect a response until their next working day. I'd also never send multiple messages like that in one afternoon. I might send a reminder message if I haven't heard after a few days to a week.

lanbro Mon 20-May-19 17:24:05

It's very rude. A lot of my customers message via Facebook and if I don't respond fb prompts me to, and your response rates drops! I find myself replying at all hours, but that's down to me and not wanting to have a poor response rate!

ifCakesHappens Mon 20-May-19 17:25:12


No problem with sending emails or texts at times convenient to the sender, Sunday or middle of the night included, but massively unreasonable - and rude- to expect an immediate reply.

I send a regular disclaimer email to my team: I might be emailing you at midnight or 5am, but you are not expected to read it or reply then! If it's really urgent, it will be clear in the header.

TurboTeddy Mon 20-May-19 17:26:10

The beauty of electronic communication is that we can send messages when it's convenient and the receiver can respond when it's convenient. Your phone was quite reasonably switched off and you responded during your normal working hours. The message sender was not put out by the lack of response yesterday so I'm not sure why you think this is rude. Your message sender was trying to organise her diary but the multiple messages would suggest the organising part wasn't going to very wellsmile

I think it's perfectly reasonable to state your hours of business and stick to them. If people are annoyed that you don't make exceptions for them then they are being rude and unreasonable.

leomama81 Mon 20-May-19 17:32:41

The repeated ??? would suggest she was put out and yes does come across as very rude.

An out of office text does sound like a good idea if that is something that exists!

bigbadbadger Mon 20-May-19 17:33:49

I'm glad it's not me. Yes, I turn the phone off on Sat eve and don't look it it. I used to reply "i'll get back to you tomorrow" but it just encouraged them! An automated message is a great idea. I am sure lots of businesses doing what I do an provide 24/7 cover and they should use those if they need this level of service in my opinion.


simplekindoflife Mon 20-May-19 17:34:50

Sending multiple texts, especially with "???" is so unbelievably rude!

Is there such a thing as out of office on text messages? Or flight mode so the message comes up as unsent?

I think you just need to politely remind them unfortunately.

flowery Mon 20-May-19 17:39:21

YANBU she is rude, all the ???? text.

Are you b2b or b2c. I used to have a few private clients very early on and I ditched them as soon as humanly possible as they were way more demanding than business clients. I remember once I was dealing with a private client and I was on the way to London on the train for an evening out with the girls, something I do very infrequently. I arrived in London at around 6pm, and didn't then look at my phone until I got back on the train at around 11. I had multiple emails from her, first to my normal email address, then, because I hadn't answered, to the 'info@' email address on the website, then texts. All outside office hours.

Clients who are overly demanding aren't worth the aggro at all unless they are extremely high paying.

bigbadbadger Mon 20-May-19 17:46:14

I agree it is absolutely reasonable to text me any time they choose, I get lots of emails and texts sent at all sorts of times. It's just the ?? texts and then the 'oh nothing urgent' that threw me.

bigbadbadger Mon 20-May-19 17:47:42

All private clients and I work with DC so it is my work but their family life which definitely blurs boundaries. Thanks for the advice. I am going to find out about out of office texts.

Cryalot2 Mon 20-May-19 17:54:06

You are in the right.
The multiple texts are down right rude and uncalled for.

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