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To have spoken to her manager?

(91 Posts)
NotPregnantJustAFatty Sun 19-May-19 15:24:02

NC - don't want family to see my other threads. Penis Beaker, Sistine Chapel wailing etc etc.

I was at the supermarket this morning and as I was getting DS2 out his car seat, an employee was waiting to get into her car, presumably have just finished her shift.

Her: aw he's cute, how old?
Me: thanks, he's 18months.
Her: how many have you got?
Me: just the two.
Her: and you're having another?
Me: errr no.

And then pointing at my belly and smirking, she said - "*So is all that left over from the last one?*" angry

I wish I had bloody said something back, but I was just in this weird haze and I couldn't think of something other to say than "yes I guess it is."
I was just completely shocked and angry that a total stranger thought that was appropriate.
And then she was in her car, window went down and she shouted "enjoy motherhood!" as she drove off.

Nearly in tears by this point I went to customer service, the manager was called down. She was really apologetic and mortified that an employee had said that to someone. Took down my details and everything I could remember about the woman, and said she'd call me with an update. I didn't ask for one, but fair enough.

MIL thinks I went too far telling management, and this woman could potentially lose her job over this. She said the woman could be autistic, or have a learning disability. She said I should just suck it up and move on.

But honestly, why should I? Why should I allow a bully to go around saying such nasty things, in her uniform no less? Even if she is autistic or has a learning disability, perhaps management could take this as a training opportunity. And if she is just a bitch, then I wouldn't feel too bad about her losing her job, though I doubt it'll go that far.

AIBU to have complained?

Cherrysoup Sun 19-May-19 15:26:12

Couldn’t give a shit whether she is autistic or has a learning disability. That does not excuse extreme fucking rudeness in an adult, presumably someone who is in customer service of some sort.

InTheEndgameNow Sun 19-May-19 15:27:42

YANBU. She was rude and out of order.

Beebeezed Sun 19-May-19 15:28:13

Nope! YANBU I would have done the same. You didn’t retaliate irrationally - you followed the correct procedure for a grievance. She deserves a disciplinary at least! How rude angry I Hope you’re ok! X

RasberryRoyale Sun 19-May-19 15:30:07

Yanbu! She was completely out of order. Well done for reporting it.

RedHelenB Sun 19-May-19 15:30:58

Rude yes, unthinking yes but not a bully. Personally I would have let it go but you ve reported her now and she ll probably get a reminder of how to talk to people when in uniform.

LuluBellaBlue Sun 19-May-19 15:33:30

Wow that’s awful! Well done you. Says a lot about her as a person. Please don’t take it personally flowers

Heyha Sun 19-May-19 15:34:56

She wouldn't have said it (or if she had, she'd be in deep poo) while she was in the store working so it's no different if she's wearing her uniform and still on site.
Doubt she'll lose her job so I wouldn't lose any sleep OP but she might think twice in future.

Sparklingbrook Sun 19-May-19 15:37:05

With the supermarkets being open shortened hours on a Sunday that must have been a very short shift.

Winding her window down and saying 'enjoy motherhood' as a parting shot was very odd.

I am not sure what sort of update they will give you TBH.

Cacaca Sun 19-May-19 15:43:01

*With the supermarkets being open shortened hours on a Sunday that must have been a very short shift*

Unless this happened in Scotland, where there are no restricted hours or the staff member maybe worked behind the scenes therefore our with opening hours.

Either way, she was rude.

QueenOfTheTofuTree Sun 19-May-19 15:44:42

How strange.

NotPregnantJustAFatty Sun 19-May-19 15:44:51

Thank you, I'm okay now though was quite upset earlier. My self esteem was already low enough.

Unfortunately it has put a slight dampener on an otherwise lovely day, but my partner's bringing home some wine and a hug after work so hopefully that will make me feel better.

SparklingBrook - manager thought she might have been on the home delivery team, as they finish around that time. I'm not expecting much of an update either tbh, but she said I'd get one nonetheless.

NotPregnantJustAFatty Sun 19-May-19 15:45:50

And yes, it was very odd. I've never been spoken to like that by a total stranger before. That's why I was so upset.

Shelbybear Sun 19-May-19 15:46:00

No you should have complained. She was an employee whether off her shift or not obviously had her uniform on. Should never speak to a customer like that (or anyone for that matter).

What a horrible rude woman. She should have said oh I'm really sorry when you said you were not pregnant. For her to actually say what she did is just plain nasty! Please don't take it to heart. Then the weird enjoy motherhood comment 🤷🏻‍♀️ Hey maybe she's a spiteful bitch coz she cldnt have kids of her own or just a bitch!

BeenHereForAges Sun 19-May-19 15:46:57

Years ago I bought ovulation strips with my weekly shopping on a busy Saturday & when the woman tilled them through she examined them and said in a loud, mocking voice "why are you buying these? Cant you get pregnant on your own!?" I also called & complained to management (after sobbing on the way home as we'd had so much disappointment for years & I really didn't feel like explaining this to a nosey checkout woman I'd never met!) You did the right thing. How will she ever learn how much upset she can cause through stupid, thoughtless words unless she's told?

Sparklingbrook Sun 19-May-19 15:48:15

Oh a picker for Home Delivery maybe? In that case if it's done before opening it's probably for the best they have no direct customer contact if that's what they come out with.

Also parking in the customer parking presumably would be frowned upon?

themiddlestair Sun 19-May-19 15:50:33

NC - don't want family to see my other threads. Penis Beaker, Sistine Chapel wailing etc etc

I don't understand this comment. Are you signalling that you have made this post up for laugh?

EggAndButter Sun 19-May-19 15:52:11

I dint understand the point if your MIL.
If that woman was in the spectrum or anything else like this, then her manager would know and would react in an appropriate way for that person.
Regardless of whether there is a disability or not, it is not right to let that pass. Having autism or a learning disability doesn’t mean you can’t learn to be polite.

ManchesterBorn Sun 19-May-19 15:52:16

What an odd thing to say, you were right to complain. It's a step too far in the ridiculous things to say

EggAndButter Sun 19-May-19 15:53:00

No themiddle she is saying she isn’t a troll despite the fact yu will only find this thread in advance search

Sparklingbrook Sun 19-May-19 15:53:21

I am not sure how much information management are allowed to give out to customers about their employees TBH.

simplekindoflife Sun 19-May-19 15:53:26

Oh OP, I'd be upset too! What a bitch! You did the right thing imo. Nasty piece of work. I hope she balloons like a whale and has a thousand stretchmarks if she ever has dc!

VampireSlayer19 Sun 19-May-19 15:57:12

Mental health is not an excuse to be horrible!

You were right to say as one day she could say something to someone that does push their mental health too far and the outcome a whole lot worse than someone crying.

I hope you feel better soon.

INeedAFlerken Sun 19-May-19 16:00:16

I think you did the right thing in reporting her. She was on site, in her uniform, walking out for the day. She showed an extreme lack of judgement and a high level of nastiness to a customer of her employer. Her employer needs to know this so they can deal with her and make sure it doesn't happen again.

Hope you're feeling better, OP.

ImposterSyndrome101 Sun 19-May-19 16:05:18

I'm autistic here and I would NEVER say that to someone regardless of how they look. Go by the rule if someone can't change it in six seconds then don't comment on it.

You did the right thing because she needs to be made aware of how she addresses people.

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