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AIBU to think you can't survive as a single parent without benefits?

(132 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

womanadulthumanfemale Sun 19-May-19 11:36:36

Unless you're on maybe £60 k p/a plus?

Maybe when they are school age but before that it isn't doable is it ... Or is it?

Icandothisallday Sun 19-May-19 11:38:05

I am on 26k and really struggle.

I live in a cheap area. But my commute costs a fortune. As does breakfast club and after school club. I have school age children.

I get a small amount the covers some child care.

And I am one of the lucky ones that earns decent money.

womanadulthumanfemale Sun 19-May-19 11:38:47

26k isn't a lot tbh. I couldn't do it.

manicinsomniac Sun 19-May-19 11:42:10

I think it depends what you are and what you need. I'm fine as a single parent on 42K. Don't have a luxury lifestyle but I have enough. Don't buy anything that isn't second hand and children don't have any gadgets or anything but they do loads of expensive extra curricular and we go travelling, go to the theatre etc. So definitely not in a deprived bracket.

My rent is subsidised through my job so I suppose I get the equivalent of housing benefit. I could just live in a cheaper area if I didn't get that perk though.

Sure it depends on I individual circumstances though

megletthesecond Sun 19-May-19 11:43:56

You can. But you'd probably need 30k ish. Especially if you don't have any family to help with wrap round childcare or school holidays.

womanadulthumanfemale Sun 19-May-19 11:45:05

It isn't about buying second hand and shitty fucking camping holidays.

It is about childcare coming to well over a thousand pounds, mortgage probably not much less if you live anywhere further south than Gloucester meaning that you have no money left for council tax, internet, food, clothes and shoes.

Okay? smile

CanILeavenowplease Sun 19-May-19 11:45:30

Depends on essential outgoings. I don’t have a mortgage which makes life easier.

womanadulthumanfemale Sun 19-May-19 11:46:01

How would you pay for say two lots of childcare on 30k plus other bills? Genuinely asking.

womanadulthumanfemale Sun 19-May-19 11:46:20

You don't say CanI hmm

rabbitheadlights Sun 19-May-19 11:47:30

What's with the animosity???

L1nkedOut Sun 19-May-19 11:47:56

I'm on 26,000 euro, no benefits, two kids, my x was giving maintenance but he's stopped now. It is going to be very very very hard.

But there's a woman in my office (same salary) and she also has two kids roughly the same age and her husband is depressed and unemployed and she gets home to him another mouth to feed basically, no support, no help around the house either! I feel sorry for HER!

I'll get through this somehow.

rabbitheadlights Sun 19-May-19 11:48:34

I think you're really very rude! People are answering your question what more do you want?

AnneLovesGilbert Sun 19-May-19 11:48:44

What’s going on OP? You’re taking a bit of a tone to the people taking the time to respond to you.

Farcry66 Sun 19-May-19 11:48:45

I can manage, but I'm on a good wage 42k and my boys are both school age. We don't have anything left for luxury extras but we manage fine. If I was still paying for childcare I'd be absolutely screwed!

CanILeavenowplease Sun 19-May-19 11:48:59

You asked a question. I answered. Why the rudeness?

womanadulthumanfemale Sun 19-May-19 11:49:36

Thank you farcry

it does mean something when someone actually acknowledges it isn't really possible

BigRedLondonBus Sun 19-May-19 11:50:55

My sister does, she’s a single parent and doesn’t get benefits but her child is a teenager

AlexaShutUp Sun 19-May-19 11:51:35

I think it depends on what you earn, where you live, how many children you have and what ages they are. I am a high earner in an inexpensive area with only one child, and could very easily survive without DH's income. However, a single parent on a lower income with multiple young children in a more expensive part of the country would obviously struggle.

I know quite a few single parents locally who manage on quite modest incomes, but rents/mortgages around here are pretty reasonable. Different story in London or the South East.

MonstranceClock Sun 19-May-19 11:52:50

I'm a single parent and I'm not on benefits.

L1nkedOut Sun 19-May-19 11:54:38

I was ok when my children's father was paying maintenance. I didn't have a car so some pepole may have viewed us as poor but i could pay the bills I had and didn't need (or qualify for benefits).

Now I don't know, I think I will need to let a few months pass before I can ''prove'' he's not paying any more and then I'll have to show I've legally pursued him. THEN if I go back to the social welfare I MAY be eligible for some help as a family but not as a single parent because I work full time.

So basically, I HAVE been surviving without benefits and may well have to continue.

CherryBlossom100 Sun 19-May-19 11:55:26

Everyone’s situation is different, surely. I live in the south east and earn 38k. childcare is £50 a day but family look after dd twice a week. Mortgage is £900. Dont have any spare money left over and a little debt but managing fine. Cut down on all luxury spending and buy all of dds clothes from the supermarket. Never have holidays or spend on me. Hoping it’ll get easier once she starts school but wrap around care will still cost quite a lot. Wouldn’t change anything for the world though. Money doesn’t buy happiness.

Newadventure Sun 19-May-19 11:57:08

Well, I only earn around 19k (carer so minimum wage) and feel like we do fine.
Are tax credits classed as a benefit?? I get a little bit of that.
My rent is cheap because of where we live and I don't pay for childcare as I work around when dd is with her dad.

We have everything we need and more, she is only little now (4.5) so I worry about things costing more the older she gets but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Redtartanshoes Sun 19-May-19 11:59:29

Single parent, 1 child, mortgage, good salary, no benefits, savings. It’s not impossible.

I hate the way being “a single mother” is made to be the worst possible place in society. My life is actually pretty fucking great, as is ds’s.

womanadulthumanfemale Sun 19-May-19 11:59:51

Of course tax credits are a benefit.

womanadulthumanfemale Sun 19-May-19 12:00:22

fucking good for you

you said it - good salary and one child

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