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To not tell the bride and groom?

(140 Posts)
AmazingGrace16 Sun 19-May-19 04:58:37

Maid of honour and best man here. Wedding starting at 3pm although obviously we've both got bits to do before then.
We've both come down with a tummy bug. It's not so horrific that it's constant... we've had one episode each.

Do we tell the bride and groom? I'm thinking no and just crack on unless it bubbles up again. But AIBU?

We've got two girls who seem fine too....

allworthwhile Tue 21-May-19 09:29:09

@AmazingGrace16 why would other guests be poorly?!

You need to go back to the drawing board on this one!

ineedaholidaynow Mon 20-May-19 13:27:59

How come lots of you were poorly?

AmazingGrace16 Mon 20-May-19 12:13:16

We told the groom so he could make an informed choice. Other wedding party members also had similar symptoms and the decision was for us all to attend. I did not make that decision the groom did along with both sets of parents. They knew the guest list.
Such a range of answers here from stop being so melodramatic and go, to can't believe you'd consider going as you could kill someone. 🤷

ineedaholidaynow Mon 20-May-19 11:21:45

I wonder if it is only when you have a close relative or friend that is immunosuppressed that some people only just get it.

When DF had cancer and was having treatment we were always so careful not to go and see my parents if we had bugs or in fact had been in close contact with other people with bugs, quite difficult to manage when you have a young child. I remember the gut wrenching feeling I had after we had spent a lovely weekend with my parents, when the next day at home DS woke up with chicken pox. We had not been knowingly anywhere near anyone with it for weeks so it had not been on my radar. DS had been absolutely fine in himself so no warning. Luckily DF had no ill effects, but I just felt so awful I had exposed it to him.

redhotchill Mon 20-May-19 11:19:07

At 12 the wedding hadn't happened, the bride was stressed but her bridesmaid was on MN. And then again at 4 talking in the past tense about the wedding. Weird confused

Mummyoflittledragon Mon 20-May-19 11:18:20

I can’t believe this thread. I am disabled and chronically ill. You could have made people like make me, children, the elderly, immunocompromised people etc seriously ill.

Just because other people from the wedding party felt ill it doesn’t mean the food was bad. In fact it very likely wasn’t because food poisoning is much worse than vomiting once or a couple of loose stools.

But hey, Well done for powering through ffs. 🙄

Catchingbentcoppers Mon 20-May-19 11:06:55

@iVampire I absolutely agree with you. I'm on chemo just now and infection is the thing that worries me most. As you say, of course you can pick things up from someone, but I would never put myself in the company of someone who has an infection. I would want to know so that I could make a decision for myself.

But as I said before, just reading this thread makes you realise that lots of people genuinely don't give a shit about anyone else. They wouldn't care if they made you, me or anyone else very ill.

Medievalist Mon 20-May-19 09:44:23

And for what it's worth, the heir to the throne talks to plants allegedly. So I wouldn't set too much store by what the royals believe....

Medievalist Mon 20-May-19 09:43:13

Homeopathy works on babies and animals. Not placebo

Undoubtedly any placebo effect is on the parent/owner - ie they convince themselves there are improvements - and/or coincidence (patient would have for better anyway).

I got sucked into trying homeopathy as a young adult - for a condition that conventional treatment wasn't proving effective. The highly recommended homeopath was happy to take large sums of money off me (which I really couldn't afford) in return for his magic water. Thankfully I realised it was all smoke and mirrors.

Homeopathy is Mumbo Jumbo. But hey, if you want to believe then carry on. Some people believe in fairies.

StealthPolarBear Mon 20-May-19 09:40:16

Placebo effect works on animals BTW

allworthwhile Mon 20-May-19 08:54:47

Your timeline makes no sense hmm

Missingstreetlife Mon 20-May-19 08:48:27

Homeopathy works on babies and animals. Not placebo. The hospital you mention cannot prescribe homeopath but will still discuss it. Good enough for royals, widely used in Germany.
Doesn't always work but nor do other medicines, not suitable for some conditions but excellent for first aid and conditions the NHS cannot help.

MrMakersFartyParty Mon 20-May-19 08:24:37

IVampire I think we are on a similar drug. This is one of my worst fears.

derxa Mon 20-May-19 08:23:52

Well done

iVampire Mon 20-May-19 08:22:24

I would have hated to be at an event with someone there kneeling LG in the infectious period (symptomatic stage) of a D&V illness.

I look perfectly normal, and am quite accepting of other infection risks. But D&V would prevent the absorption of the cancer drug which keeps me ‘normal’

I would want to be forewarned, so I can make decisions about my safety.

Yes, I know I could meet a pre-symptomatic carrier at random. But that does not mean I also want to expose myself to someone who knows they are in the infectious stages.

For some of us, the stages are very high

30not13 Mon 20-May-19 08:16:59

Utterly selfish

Oct18mummy Mon 20-May-19 08:12:27

Someone went to my sisters wedding with Norovirus - almost the whole wedding party came down with it the next day was horrendous

MrMakersFartyParty Mon 20-May-19 08:06:42

I'm on an immuno suppressing drug and I would be so pissed if I was exposed to illness when it could be avoided.

StealthPolarBear Mon 20-May-19 07:59:59

Food poisoning can be contagious so the "it might be something you ate" comments were fairly odd.

ineedaholidaynow Mon 20-May-19 07:23:46

Did some of the wedding party have a meal together the night before?

I don’t necessarily think it was great that you went if your DH was sick again. Fingers crossed no-one else gets it.

Catchingbentcoppers Mon 20-May-19 07:06:43

I hope the bride and groom had a great day. And don't spent the next few days throwing up or sitting on the loo.

CupoTeap Mon 20-May-19 07:03:05

That's good then, hope the bride and groom had a great day

PonderingPanda Mon 20-May-19 06:42:59

How can it be the wedding food if you felt ill before the wedding?

Pud2 Sun 19-May-19 17:01:00

Good for you for going. Hope you enjoyed yourself.

AmazingGrace16 Sun 19-May-19 16:22:20

We went! Both have headaches and dh has been sick again but now is heaps better
Think it may have been food as other wedding party suggested they felt iffy too

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