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Accent, class and feeling like a fish out of water

(242 Posts)
fishoutofwine Sat 18-May-19 23:02:21

Have name changed as moan about this a irl and think combined with my other posts would put me.

However, in the last year have moved to a very “of money” up market area (sort of imagine Hampstead garden suburb but not).

I have found that thanks so my strong accent and penchant for wearing ordinary clothes seems to be setting me ok a back foot.

I know some of this may be my own insecurities however habe had issues such as - neighbour in gazillion pound house assuming that when I said no to her builders using my garden for a loo talking slowly and patiently to me like I’m an idiot, when walking my dog around the local area other dog walkers asking if I’ve come far (quite enjoy pointing and saying “no I live there” and just low lever snobbery.

While fully aware that this is to some degree a nice problem to have, it does make me feel like crap (and like moving back to my perfectly nice area I was before).

I guess it’s more wwyd and how can I deal with it.

fishoutofwine Sat 18-May-19 23:10:15

Am also very aware that I’m lucky

babysharkah Sat 18-May-19 23:11:37

I don't really understand. Do you think you sound 'common'?

BlueBrushing Sat 18-May-19 23:12:12

In all honesty, if I were you I'd adopt a more neutral accent.

TraffordTansy Sat 18-May-19 23:12:19

My next door neighbours assumed I was the cleaner for ages. Even by the time they moved I'm not sure they'd grasped I lived here 😂. It was the accent...

SolitudeAtAltitude Sat 18-May-19 23:12:23

You are possibly oversensitive, they ask if you have come from far are new


PenelopeFlintstone Sat 18-May-19 23:14:45

No, they could have asked, "Have you moved here?"

fishoutofwine Sat 18-May-19 23:15:40

@bliebrushing - What accent should I adopt - I do a great Liverpudlian but if I could do RP I would habe by now 😊

DNAshelicase Sat 18-May-19 23:15:42


CherryPavlova Sat 18-May-19 23:17:09

How on earth would people seeing you walking your dog know what you sounded like? I assume your not sprayed orange, have hoop earrings and screeching at your pit bull like a wailing banshee?

fishoutofwine Sat 18-May-19 23:18:17

@traffirdtansy - that’s exactly it - I get mistaken for a local dog walker or nanny. It’s not that it’s necessary an awful thing but it’s a bit much when day in day out

5oclocksomewhere Sat 18-May-19 23:19:10

"In all honesty, if I were you I'd adopt a more neutral accent."

Bollocks to that!

SoleBizzz Sat 18-May-19 23:19:13

Sounds vile. Just don't soeak to them ever again. There is no need.

fishoutofwine Sat 18-May-19 23:21:07

@cherrypavlova - I mean people I meet walking the dog - e.g you stop, have a quick chat (oh what’s your dog called etc).

Thinkinghappythoughts Sat 18-May-19 23:21:11

Were the builders weeing in your garden and the next-door neighbour thought this was acceptable? Have I understood that right?

EL8888 Sat 18-May-19 23:22:58

I have been on the receiving end of this before 🙄. Some people seem to think if you don’t speak in a Received Pronunciation kind of way, then you are some kind of idiot. I know it’s easy for me to say but l would do nothing. They are the ones with the problem.

@BlueBrushing why should OP change?

Cyberworrier Sat 18-May-19 23:24:20

I have sort of similar, newly moved to a more ‘leafy’ part of town and noticed how smart people look even whilst walking dog etc. Gives me imposter syndrome, feeling too scruffy and studenty (in my head) to live near polished professionals. But sod it, only a reflection on them if they judge you for not being exactly the same as them!

Geraniumpink Sat 18-May-19 23:24:27

It depends how much you mind. You never know, when you have lived there long enough you might pick up the local accent anyway. Otherwise, I suppose there are elocution lessons.
I had the opposite problem as we live in a tiny terraced house in a down to earth area. I have a ‘posh’ accent and have been throughly judged as a snob. But I have lived here a long time now and been accepted.

Ilovetolurk Sat 18-May-19 23:25:53


Indeed. Those pesky builders pissing in one’s begonias

fishoutofwine Sat 18-May-19 23:26:32

ok - the thing that had done it for me is an invite to the reseidents association- an email came round that they needed help with social media. I run a very successful large agency and offered free help. I went along to a very informal meeting and felt that, thanks to my accent and lack of having lived in the area for generations (I’m vulgar enough to have bought all my own jewellery), the others didn’t listen to a word I said.

Honestly - I’ve lived in affluent areas before but never had this sort of issue. Yes my accent is “estuary” bit usually the content of what I’m saying is enough for people take me seriously but recently, I’m feeling unsure of myself

Catren Sat 18-May-19 23:27:44

Don't try and change your accent to adapt to the locals, they'll find myriad other ways to identify you as "not like them". Just be yourself, you're entitled to live wherever you like. You'll find some good people amongst term. I've been in a similar situation and befriended all sorts of different people as a result, but I steer well clear of posh cliques and the people who seem only to care which school you went to and the location of your last ski holiday. How very dull their lives must be.

fishoutofwine Sat 18-May-19 23:28:48

Oh the loo thing - they wanted to put portaloos on our Garden (sound worse than it is- but still I wasn’t keen - put it in your own sodding space)

SoleBizzz Sat 18-May-19 23:29:31

Either move or just totally ignore them.

CherryPavlova Sat 18-May-19 23:29:42

So the bit about builders using your garden as a lavatory- do they come up the drive, scale the wall, chop down the hedge? How does that happen? We have the occasional artist or rambler asking to use the lavatory but they are always courteous.

The dog walking business, what makes you think they are in the leat bit interested in anything other than why your dog is reactive and the dogs pedigree? Unless you have an inappropriate breed. Then they might judge.

CherryPavlova Sat 18-May-19 23:30:51

Ah you’re in an area with a residents association. Explains all.

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