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To feel terribly embarrassed

(251 Posts)
Thornyrose7 Thu 16-May-19 19:53:19

I know there have been lots of similar threads. But today I went into a quiet staff room with two maintenance guys sitting in there ( one I know to talk to) and while I was making my drink a fart slipped out without any warning. Not a stinker, but noisy. I tried to brazen it out , ignored it,and even stayed for a chat!I am old enough not to care. But I am so embarrassed and keep cringing. AIBU to not be able to stop thinking about it?

notfromworcester Thu 16-May-19 20:49:50

I was on my first holiday abroad with Dp and after a massive dinner we were walking back to the hotel. I felt the urge to let rip, tried to suppress it and ended up making a noise which sounded like I'd imagine an exploding honking goose to sound.

I literally just pretended it hadn't happened and we continued our conversation.

We have never acknowledged it, years on.

HomerDancing Thu 16-May-19 20:51:08

I’m crying! grin

Jinglejanglefish Thu 16-May-19 20:51:39

Oh I love a fart story 😂

I go to a yoga class every Tuesday night and eat dinner beforehand, I've been going since October and haven't farted yet! The release when I get into the car after is glorious.

Sweetpea55 Thu 16-May-19 20:52:59

I was pregnant and very windy. Sat with headphones on listening to music with eyes closed. DH outside messing about with car.
I was farting like mad. Really loud and gassy. Opened my eyes and there is Bro in law and his new girlfriend.. They'd been sat there for about 10 mins and had got the full force of my backside

woodhill Thu 16-May-19 20:53:46

I went to Yoga and did this. Awfully embarrassing

Iamnobirdandnonetensnaresme Thu 16-May-19 20:54:58

I know someone who fired a junior staff member because farted in front of them and couldn't handle the embarrassment.

dontticklethetoad Thu 16-May-19 20:56:23

ended up making a noise which sounded like I'd imagine an exploding honking goose to sound grin

I always accuse my husband of smuggling ducks into the bathroom. Or ask him if he has a duck playing a trumpet in there or if his secret duck is angry.

Ohkayyy Thu 16-May-19 20:56:35

I once reached across the desk and neatly put my boob in to my boss's open hand

I love this 😂😂😂

kaytee87 Thu 16-May-19 20:56:38

I farted the other day when I was walking into the park with 2yo DS. Would have been fine but DS thinks farts are hilarious and started shouting 'pooeyyyy mummy!!!!' 'Stinky' 'mummy you farted!!!!' at the top of his voice whilst waving his hand around.

youarenotkiddingme Thu 16-May-19 20:57:12

OH my days the boob in hand is brilliant 😂😂

When we were in a French lesson at school someone farted and every tried to pretend it didn't happen.

The teacher (who was new and fab) just smiled and with a relieved voice said "thank god someone's finally done that. Now can you all relax in class a bit more" grin

DareDevil223 Thu 16-May-19 20:57:35

My late mum was a champion farter, when DS was little he announced loudly to a packed room 'my nanny farts all the time' this made mum laugh so much that she farted, cue hysterics all round grin.

Farting: never not funny....

HelpMyKnickers Thu 16-May-19 21:02:33

NC in case anyone I used to work with is on here.

I was once walking back down the corridor at work from a department meeting with probably around 50 colleagues when the elastic just completely gave way in my knickers, snapped entirely.

I was in a skirt and they shot down my legs quicker than shit off a shovel. Before I even really realised what was happening, I had nearly tripped over with them round my ankles.

Queue my work friends all in hysterics and one very awkward manager not knowing where to put his eyes.

It's scarred me so much that I will never wear a skirt without two pairs on now.

Greenfield19 Thu 16-May-19 21:03:10

Every time I sneeze at work I fear I’m going to let rip! My stomach keeps making these weird noises that are like farts that go off before they get to my bum. It’s awful.

SecretWitch Thu 16-May-19 21:03:47

Walking down the hall with my oh so young and handsome dentist...little pip farts kept time with my walking. I kept hoping he didn’t hear.

MCC85 Thu 16-May-19 21:06:51

I dropped one by accident on a plane a few weeks ago, it was silent....phew, but it stank....poooo!

Cue me looking around all innocent and then picking the baby up to 'check the nappy'!!

90percentvodka10percenthuman Thu 16-May-19 21:07:17

My mil has the best fart story I’ve heard. She is incredibly private about passing wind and will suffer pain then try to slip one out silently. Whilst abroad she got very gassy and had to leave the apartment to let rip with the excuse of getting something from the car. As she walked the empty street she farted quite loudly with each step. She retrieved whatever she wanted from the car, turned around to head back only to notice that everybody in the apartment block was out on their balconies having dinner/drinks and was watching her

TheBreastmilksOnMe Thu 16-May-19 21:11:04

I’ve lost count the number of times I’ve been farted and queefed on! 😆 (Hollywood/Brazilian waxer by trade)

goose1964 Thu 16-May-19 21:11:11

I'm on a number of meds and a few of them give excess wind as a side effect. Luckily as it's not caused by food it doesn't smell

OhTheRoses Thu 16-May-19 21:12:43

We all do it. Such a shame we are ashamed or embarassed about it.

DS once had a girlfriend who thoight farts were disgusting and keptntelling him to leave the the room. DH who is quite a stick in the mud peered over his glasses and said very dryly "dear girl, if you don't like that, you'll spend a lot of time alone in this family".

Saffy101 Thu 16-May-19 21:12:48

Many years ago was wearing new jeans walking through the local town with a teenage boyfriend when I wondered what was around my foot. It was the knickers I had worn the day I bought them - perfect, they had decided now was the time to make an appearance!!! I quickly reached down, grabbed them and shoved them in my pocket, bless him he didn't say a word... and me I just babbled about anything that came into my head!

foxyknoxy30 Thu 16-May-19 21:16:06

On a first date I drank too much then proceeded to be sick with the guy comforting me and I let a massive fart rip 😂

Sammiejo12 Thu 16-May-19 21:16:29

My relatively new bf has gone on a stag doo and while I was fake tanning (I know 🤦🏻‍♀️) him a small fart just popped out... I didn't even feel it coming! thank god it wasn't a smelly one but I was horrified but within seconds we were both laughing with tears rolling down our faces.

Still cringe at the moment now 😲.

TenPastTen Thu 16-May-19 21:16:38

I bloody love these threads grin

Hecateh Thu 16-May-19 21:18:41

Noisy farts are always funny, silent but deadly ones less so.

I was once in 'Blockbusters' (showing my age) and a tiny fart slipped out. Smelt like someone had opened a bag with month old cabbage and cauli and smashed a few rotten eggs in there.
There were a couple of teenagers who started giggling and left the shop. The staff were very scathing about them and their smell. I agreed that 'yes that smell is disgusting' without ever owning up. grin

FenellaVelour Thu 16-May-19 21:18:56

The first time my now-husband visited my house we were sat on the bed just talking, I was desperate to fart but was holding it in, carried on for over an hour like this but then reached the point I knew I’d have to let it out. So I excused myself to go to the toilet, but I got my foot caught in the duvet, so I went absolutely flying, head first, hit the floor, and as I landed I let out the longest, loudest, soggiest fart you ever heard.

He thought it was hilarious.

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