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to murder disgusting smell-obsessed woman at work

(182 Posts)
Snuffalo Thu 16-May-19 19:42:59

I swear she has some kind of fetish. In the morning she tells us about the 'whiffy' (seriously) people she encountered on the bus. When she comes back from the toilet she invariably says things like 'smells like someone crawled in the pipes and died'. Today I was just about to take my first bite of some boring sliced edam cheese (that smells of nothing) on a fucking Ryvita and she says 'ooh good, it's your lunch, I thought it might be your feet for a minute there! Cheesy feet haha!' and I was so annoyed and disgusted I got up and threw the whole lot in the trash.

I'm the manager of her manager and I'm seriously considering raising this as a performance issue...

EmeraldShamrock Wed 22-May-19 22:40:32

Did you bring a peg to work, or a smelly egg sandwich, any update on the super sniffer. grin

Cryalot2 Wed 22-May-19 16:11:04

Throwing out your lunch was a bit harsh.
Just tell her to shut up and stop talking rubbish.

IrmaFayLear Wed 22-May-19 16:02:21

Why are people on here claiming that doing something smelly is almost a right ?

It is selfish to eat smelly food at work. Dh has had to wade in with someone at work who was coming in in the morning and making herself scrambled eggs. You can imagine that smell permeating through the office. It was not her "right" to make half the office gag.

BloodyDisgrace Wed 22-May-19 15:49:29

Some people are gobshites. I.e. they inform everyone of every thought they have. Is there any chance you can ignore her? This British culture seems to consider an eye roll as a penultimate insult of the insults? Try it maybe? Good luck, I feel for you.
I used to work with people who were sensitive to noise, and who'd let me know that even when I already knew/did something to help. Work is a loony bin. People get mad there. Be strong.

woollyheart Wed 22-May-19 15:43:53

I wouldn't like people commenting on the smell of something I was eating - unless it was along the lines of 'that smells delicious'. Referring to smelly feet would put me right off.

She has an immature sense of humour. Either tell her that you are not amused, or find somewhere else to eat. Or take a gas mask in for her.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff Wed 22-May-19 15:24:27

Could you get her an orange studded with cloves on a stick. It used to work for the Elizabethans. Sorry if this has already been suggested, I skimmed. smile

supersop60 Sat 18-May-19 10:41:36

Haven't RTFT, just a couple of pages. Apologies if this has been said,
Maybe she's in the wrong job and should be a perfume tester or a wine buff, if she has such a sensitive nose. A friend of mine was a tester for new flavours for Walkers Crisps. (although she did have a degree in Microbiology and Food Science)
I'd suggest it.

TheCatInTheSquare Sat 18-May-19 10:04:15

Sounds like she's cursed with a "super sniffer", but it doesn't mean everyone else needs to hear about it.

madcatladyforever Sat 18-May-19 10:02:11

It's not a performance issue. Just tell her to pack it in as it's irritating you.

redcarbluecar Sat 18-May-19 09:59:49

I think when you work in close proximity with people (e.g. an office space) you notice little ‘tics’ and obsessions they have, and these can magnify.
I also get that some people are more sensitive to things perceived to be ‘disgusting’ than others. I know people who would throw their lunch away if you told them it smelt like feet.
You’ve got to work with her though, so what can you do except ask her to tone it down and hope she gets the message?

Omfgareyouforreal Sat 18-May-19 09:50:14

What gets me is no one seems to see that OP is just talking utter shite and is taking the piss. Oh dear!!

Patroclus Fri 17-May-19 23:17:44

Can we have one thread that doesnt descend into mass 'ASD' diagnosing? (does that term even still exist?)

SugarNyx Fri 17-May-19 22:23:24

I thought it said smelly obese woman at first! 😂

foodenvy Fri 17-May-19 22:07:00

Next time she complains about the toilets, ask her if she enjoyed her big dump.

rubberduckyyouretheone Fri 17-May-19 21:55:45

One of my old line managers banned toast from the office. Apparently the smell was offensive and vulgar when clients had appointments after lunch.

RiversDisguise Fri 17-May-19 21:52:36

I use the bus twice daily. To me the worst imposition is women with noticeable perfume but I wouldn't let my discomfort register on my face.

Human smells are more forgivable and it's poor form to allude to them, or wrinkle your nose if a drunk or incontinent person sits near you, or a colleague with unbrushed teeth looms over you, or whatever. There but for the Grace of God... pregnancy, fistulas, Crohn's, there are so many conditions that can affect this! It could happen to anyone.

Or even just step in dogshit getting onto the bus, then everyone is giving you the evils for 45mins? Nice.

But Mumsnet collectively thinks its own shit doesn't stink, I have known that for 10+ years!

Tevion10 Fri 17-May-19 21:37:46

Good one Daphne grin

MissMogwai Fri 17-May-19 21:34:08

@LakieLady I think part of being a grown-up is developing the ability to work with a wide range of irritating fuckwits without killing them or throwing your lunch in the bin, tbh.

This in spades!

LuvSmallDogs Fri 17-May-19 20:46:10

I’d be tempted to start commenting on her smell. If she smells even slightly of perfume/fabric conditioner - OMG IT SMELLS LIKE A TART’S BOUDOIR IN HERE DID YOU SKIP A SHOWER AND SPRAY ON FEBREZE HAHA JUST JOKES MATE.



GeeksCanBeMumsToo Fri 17-May-19 20:28:15

Ask her if she’s pregnant or just rude wink

Catsinthecupboard Fri 17-May-19 20:03:06

Rudeness is partially defined by making others feel uncomfortable especially by commenting on another's personal habits, appearance, etc.

The comments are rude. You should be professional at work. This also means being a manager and managing this behavior politely and professionally.

winniestone37 Fri 17-May-19 19:34:35

I'm uncomfortable with the idea you would raise this as a performance issue, you are abusing your permission

Jeeperscreepers69 Fri 17-May-19 19:18:26

Totall over reaction. You "managers" seem to have lost touch with the workforce. Speak to the woman one to one. I no thats a unbelievable thing to do. No raising things and emails just be normal and on the same level. You will be much more respected. Take the stick out ya bum and get down and dirty with the minions 😁

mrshousty Fri 17-May-19 19:00:42


Mintychoc1 Fri 17-May-19 18:49:46

YABU for saying “trash”, unless you’re american!

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