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Do I be honest what I think about this name

(303 Posts)
Driftingthoughlife Thu 16-May-19 17:21:13

With everything going on with DH (previous thread) I may be potentially be about to fall out with my best mate if I tell the truth
She is pregnant due in a month and she has texted me to ask what I think of the name they have chosen. I think it’s awful. She says she really values my opinion
I don’t know if I can take falling out at the moment so aibu to lie and say it’s lovely but at the same time in am thinking this poor kid has to live with this name

JudgeRindersMinder Thu 16-May-19 17:22:58

The only comment you should ever pass is “that’s lovely”
Your friend doesn’t really want your opinion; she wants you to validate her choice

mummyboygirl Thu 16-May-19 17:23:58

Is the name aibu? Im not keen at all if im honest 😳 i would say in the nicest way ‘im not keen but if what you like that matters’ my friend named her son something abit silly and i could never bring myself to say it.. we drifted apart in the end so it never became a big issue xx

justarandomtricycle Thu 16-May-19 17:24:26

For this question, just be supportive flowers

PaintingOwls Thu 16-May-19 17:24:59

You have to tell us what the name is!

redhotchill Thu 16-May-19 17:25:23

What's the name?

mummyboygirl Thu 16-May-19 17:25:43

Oh god just realised i thought the name was aibu hahha im new to mumsnet 😂🤣 sorry

Slomi Thu 16-May-19 17:26:20

Unless the name is likely to get the child horrendously bullied than you just say "That's lovely". Nothing else required.

LolaSmiles Thu 16-May-19 17:26:28

It depends how bad. If it's just personal taste then you say nothing.
If it's something that has issues, would lead to the child being mocked, spending their life explaining a non name then you might go tactful like 'I'm glad you like it. Have you considered... and then explain potential issues' but don't diss the name.

OKBobble Thu 16-May-19 17:27:09

"It's not one I would have chosen" is okay I suppose and after all its each to their own.

UCOinanOCG Thu 16-May-19 17:27:22

I would possibly say something like 'that's a bit unusual' or 'it's not a name I would go for but if you like it you go for it". Something that makes her know you are not keen without saying as much.

What is the name?

Slomi Thu 16-May-19 17:27:31

And if you really, really can't lie just say "Oh, it's not really to my own taste but I'm glad you found a name you love!".

HBStowe Thu 16-May-19 17:28:08

If she has genuinely asked for your advice then I think you can be honest in a gentle way. Say something like ‘the most important thing is that you love it and once it’s her name everyone who loves her will love it too, but I would be concerned that it might not age well / be a bit too unusual / raise some eyebrows / etc.’

Big caveat though - I think you should only do this if she’s saddling her kid with something made up (Bowjewelaze) or that isn’t conventionally a name (Galaxy) or that is a name but is spelled appallingly (Myckenzeigh). If it’s a normal name that you just don’t like, smile and say it’s lovely.

MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours Thu 16-May-19 17:28:23

I might be a bit non committal and go down the route of suggesting she wait and see what she thinks when the baby arrives, see what suits him, and marvelling at all these people who choose names before the baby is here

may give her a moment to rethink.
what's the name please?

Ratatatouille Thu 16-May-19 17:29:26

Tricky one. If this was my best friend and the name was truly terrible - I mean likely to affect future employment chances and/or cause lifelong bullying - then I probably would very gently say something. If it's just down to personal taste and it's a perfectly inoffensive name that you just don't happen to like then I'd lie. If your opinion changes her mind, she'll probably resent the fact that she didn't use her favourite name and when she regrets it she will blame you. Or she will totally ignore your opinion, use the name anyway and be pissed off that she knows you hate her kid's name.

Nuttyaboutnutella Thu 16-May-19 17:29:48

If the name is something like Pryncess-Raynedrop-Tewlyp then be honest with her. If it's just something innocuous that's not your cup of tea like Ellie-Mae, then just say "it's lovely"

BlueMerchant Thu 16-May-19 17:30:39

I'd say 'oh that's different/popular/very traditional/bohemian/posh or whatever but not actually say whether I liked it or not x

OrdinaryGirl Thu 16-May-19 17:30:38

Exactly what HBStowe very wisely said. ✔️

MeredithGrey1 Thu 16-May-19 17:31:48

If she seems genuinely uncertain about the name I think you can tactfully point out some general issues like, will it be annoying for them that no one can ever spell/pronounce their name? Or, maybe it is a name people might judge them over?

If she seems set on it and really likes it, and actually isn't really asking for an opinion, then I'd just be nice unless its a truly awful example like PPs have given (Pryncess-Raynedrop-Tewlyp for example).

PillowTalker Thu 16-May-19 17:33:57

Weird to the point the kid is gonna suffer - day something

Just a bit crap - keep quiet

ASqueakingInTheShrubbery Thu 16-May-19 17:37:10

Is it dreadful or just not to your taste? If it's something like a notorious murderer's name, or the initials spell CUNT, tell her. If it's just not your cup of tea, be nice.

mumderland Thu 16-May-19 17:38:38

Each to their own. I'm not really a fan of my friends children's names but they're not my children so 🤷🏽‍♀️

PenguindreamsofDraco Thu 16-May-19 17:39:41

Please let the name be Balonz.

FenellaMaxwell Thu 16-May-19 17:40:32

Actually dreadful or just not to your taste?

churchthecat Thu 16-May-19 17:41:55

If she's asking you to be honest then I'd be honest. I'd probably just say it's not my cup of tea but she shouldn't make her decision based on what other people think.

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