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Mother in law strange behaviour?

(155 Posts)
bellarosa81 Thu 16-May-19 17:08:36

My mother in law is having one of my children today and overnight. Lovely!

My husband came home from Work and Said that they had spoken on his way home.

According to her my son’s shoes don’t fit properly so she Will go into town tomorrow to buy new ones.

Now they are new shoes so i explained they are a little hard and need to be Worn in but he has Worn them a few days and no conplaints so far from him or nursery.

She has a history of buying my children clothes and wanting to show her style through them!

She never contacted me to tell me what she thought though. I asked my husband:
had she not have mentioned it would he have noticed they were ill fitting .

He didnt know. 😉

Is this strange?

MoreCookiesPlease Thu 16-May-19 20:43:47

Hmm. It's a tough one. On the surface of it, it all seems so innocent. MIL thinks the shoes don't fit correctly, so she's graciously buying a new pair tomorrow.

If I posted the same post as you OP and also posted background info about my MIL's previous behaviour, everyone on this thread would agree with me that MIL was horribly controlling and trying to make a point. This is because she has displayed controlling behaviour in the past towards my twins, often trying to be an extra parent. She frequently oversteps the mark and crosses boundaries, and when she's talked to about it she argues and pouts.

Is there similar behaviour from your MIL in the past towards you that has sensitized you or that has confirmed that she's trying to undermine you as a mother? It feels like the issue here is not really the shoes per se, but your perception that MIL is criticising your parenting?

Mothership4two Thu 16-May-19 23:32:36

Lizzie48 are you my secret sister? My mum is the same and she is 80 this year.

When we put in our bathroom with a subtle white/soft sea green colour scheme, she bought us bright orange towel sets. Her way of saying she didnt like the bathroom grin. I said thanks but no thanks and she took them back. She still buys lots of clothes for the kids and for me too. When my son was 6 months old, she bought him an outfit that cost over £100, it was lovely and completely impractical and we could have done with the money at the time. She is very full on but she has a heart of gold and does it with the best intentions. I appreciate her and everything she does. She is as giving with her time. She is a generous person to all. I know I would only have to say one of the kids really wants x and she would get it for them - I don't do that though. She is a force of nature though and you don't want to get on the wrong side of her.

We are like chalk and cheese which has lead to some tricky moments especially as I am quite laid back like my Dad. But you are right, you just have to learn to say no. At least we get to learn from their mistakes (but make our own ones instead!).

feistymumma Fri 17-May-19 08:40:05

Gosh, what am I reading? You are moaning about your MIL buying shoes for your DS. Words fail. YABU

Bluntness100 Fri 17-May-19 09:01:34

Op, I think if you suffer from mental health issues, then depending on what is wrong, then possibly you'll accept that maybe sometimes your reactions are off somewhat?

The fact you think the shoes need to be worn in, indicates there is an issue, as small kids shoes should never need to be worn in. It's likely your mother in law told your husband as she was concerned about your reaction if she told you and she didn't wish to make a big deal of it.

I think if you're lonely then it would not be the best idea to make enemies or fall out with the people you do have in your life, when their behaviour is otherwise good and kind, and it's hugely likely they are acting with the best of intentions. Sometimes we need all the support we can get.

Peanutbutterforever Fri 17-May-19 13:59:18

Could you leave the new shoes at her house, to be worn when her DGC stays there?

3e've never had a pair of kid shoes that needed to be worn in though (sounds more like old fashioned walking boots!). Are you sure they do fit OK?

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