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Mother in law strange behaviour?

(155 Posts)
bellarosa81 Thu 16-May-19 17:08:36

My mother in law is having one of my children today and overnight. Lovely!

My husband came home from Work and Said that they had spoken on his way home.

According to her my son’s shoes don’t fit properly so she Will go into town tomorrow to buy new ones.

Now they are new shoes so i explained they are a little hard and need to be Worn in but he has Worn them a few days and no conplaints so far from him or nursery.

She has a history of buying my children clothes and wanting to show her style through them!

She never contacted me to tell me what she thought though. I asked my husband:
had she not have mentioned it would he have noticed they were ill fitting .

He didnt know. 😉

Is this strange?

BertrandRussell Thu 16-May-19 17:10:23

Oh well, then he’ll have two pairs of shoes!

bellarosa81 Thu 16-May-19 17:12:33

Haha true ....but odd way to go about it.

Not a gift .

Echobelly Thu 16-May-19 17:13:34

It's a bit odd - I wouldn't be too perturbed (or surprised) if I picked up my kids from MIL to find out she had bought them new ones because she wasn't sure about the fit of the ones the child had on, and she'd do it in a slightly passive-aggressive implying I'm not paying attention to things way. But maybe that's just her.

PutTheBunnyBackInTheBox Thu 16-May-19 17:13:56

I feel a drip feed coming...

I'd laugh it off and (as Bertrand said) be happy he now had 2 pairs of shoes.

Lakefront Thu 16-May-19 17:16:57

On a scale of 1-10 for strange behavior I'd put that at #1.

bellarosa81 Thu 16-May-19 17:17:45

He already has several pairs of shoes!

Really doesn’t need anymore - i’m big on sustainable fashion and not buying things we dont need.

Marvelendgame Thu 16-May-19 17:18:34

I think you have to ask yourself, how would you react if your own mother did this?

My ds had some shoes that were a bit clunky, my dad didn't like them he said they looked too heavy. One day he bought ds a pair of trainers. Which to be fair were great.

Now I could have taken the huff and said it was none of my dads business, or I could just be happy that ds has extra shoes and a grandparent who cared enough to buy him some!

foreverhanging Thu 16-May-19 17:18:59

I would just donate them when they come back if you don't need them, I'm sure someone would appreciate them smile it is weird but sounds like something my MIL or DM would do

Itssosunny Thu 16-May-19 17:19:13

Let her buy him a pair of fancy trainers then.

BertrandRussell Thu 16-May-19 17:19:41

Actually, if he’s nursery age his shoes shouldn’t need wearing in- so maybe she’s right!

ImNotNigel Thu 16-May-19 17:20:24

It would annoy me too but I’d not mention it to her or discuss it in any way. Because if she was doing it to annoy me, I wouldn’t want to reward her behaviour.

If I didnt like the shoes, I’d give them to the charity shop and never mention it again. In the event that she asked about the shoes I’d just say airily “ oh yes hes grown out them now “ and change the subject.

choli Thu 16-May-19 17:20:48

She spoke to the child's father, who is an equal parent to the mother. Nothing strange there.

formerbabe Thu 16-May-19 17:21:42

Yeah, what a bitch... buying shoes and babysitting.

Have a word with yourself op.

bellarosa81 Thu 16-May-19 17:22:18

Doubt my husband has a clue to be honest!

bellarosa81 Thu 16-May-19 17:24:42

Nope , she wants to buy shoes because the ones he has do not fit her taste.

The shoes arent needed.

Had she asked ” does he need anything ? I would like to buy him something ” then that would be a different matter.

Personally hate over consumption .

Deelish75 Thu 16-May-19 17:25:26

As long as she’s not expecting you to pay for them I would thank her and keep them as back up

nwybhs Thu 16-May-19 17:25:28

Well hard shoes that need to be worn in are not really appropriate for nursery children so it sounds like she is right tbh. I wouldn't be fussed by this, it's more shoes, no big deal.

TixieLix Thu 16-May-19 17:25:31

If MiL does buy new shoes, just make sure she gets ones that fit your DS properly.

BertrandRussell Thu 16-May-19 17:26:02

Don’t sweat the small stuff! You’re not consuming- she is.

bellarosa81 Thu 16-May-19 17:26:06


SpecterLitt Thu 16-May-19 17:27:55

She sounds awful, looking after your children and buying them things.. you'd think she may just.. LOVE THEM!! shock

Honestly, I never hear such nonsense in real life, these "problems" appear MN exclusive. Most people actually are appreciative that in-laws love their grandchildren.

Get some perspective, please hmm.

AmphetamineGazelle Thu 16-May-19 17:28:28

If she is buying, suck it up and use as nursery/playing shoes. If not, get DH to tell her he doesn't want her to buy shoes or see if you can get a credit note without receipt.

Does my nut in that mothers/mils 'gifts' come with conditions. I am still smarting at my mother insisting she has all clothes bought for DD back after they have beeb outgrown so she can give then to her neice's child. She cries if I don't offer all clothes but I sold the last lot on ebay. It was worth it.

Also, you could sell the shoes on fb. They do sell well.

Lumene Thu 16-May-19 17:28:30

Is she spending her own money on them or yours?

Sounds a bit annoying but a small price to pay for overnight babysitting.

bellarosa81 Thu 16-May-19 17:31:38

This is not about showing love.

Why not Show love With time , attention and affection instead of buying things that are NOT needed.

It’s a control issue.

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