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AIBU to get my 14 year old on the Pill.

(237 Posts)
Campervanlife4me Thu 16-May-19 16:30:18

She has had a boyfriend for 6 months now and is a little bit irresponsible at times. She's lovely and kind but just doesn't always think things through. She asked me if she could go on the pill because of her periods. I talked to her about it and about being too young to have sex and everything else that comes with it, but then as I thought about it later, I thought that maybe it would be more sensible for her to be on the pill than end up having an unwanted pregnancy. I can't be with her all the time to make sure she doesn't do anything stupid, so would I be unreasonable to agree to letting her go on the pill to be safe?

Teddybear45 Thu 16-May-19 16:31:17

Makes sense to me if she’s too irresponsible to use barrier protection.

Samind Thu 16-May-19 16:32:17

I think that's sensible. You cannot watch them all the time.

I snuck out! Have used morning after pill aswell. Think if that's what's going to prevent teen pregnancy then go for it. Have you discussed condoms and stds?

You sound like a lovely mum and I think you know your daughter better than anyone.

kaytee87 Thu 16-May-19 16:32:40

You don't actually have to agree, she could just go to the doctor and get it herself. If she's going to be having sex then she needs to know the importance of condoms as well.

NoSauce Thu 16-May-19 16:33:07

What’s the issue with her periods?

LegoPiecesEverywhere Thu 16-May-19 16:33:24

What about the injection? Might be better than the pill.

AuntieMarys Thu 16-May-19 16:34:09

And sit her down for a chat about responsibility and consequences. If she did get pregnant has she considered the implications?

FannyFeatures Thu 16-May-19 16:36:20

My Mum did the same for me at 14.

We spoke about it not being an incentive to have sex but as an understanding that I was growing up and had to take responsibility for my own actions if I chose to have sex and also of the importance of barrier contraceptives as well because the pill doesn't protect from STI's.

CherryPavlova Thu 16-May-19 16:36:34

An implant might be better.

BlueCornishPixie Thu 16-May-19 16:36:42

I think if she's going to have sex she's going to have sex. And whether you put her on the pill or not she will do it, the pill will only prevent pregnancy.

And my awful teenage periods improved massively when I went on the pill, so definitely focus on the period benefits if you are going to do it.

BlueCornishPixie Thu 16-May-19 16:39:41

Also my mum put me on the pill at 15 when I had a bf, it didn't encourage me to have sex at all. But it did let me know that I could trust my mum and talk to her if I needed to. And I think that's so important when teens start to think about having sex.

Fiveredbricks Thu 16-May-19 16:40:26

Implant. A 14yr old generally may not take the pill reliably.

rabbitheadlights Thu 16-May-19 16:41:08

Wow congrats OP I hope my daughter will come to me with stuff like this a lot of girls wouldn't (even under the guise of it being for her period). I would agree and make sure to have a chat about STD's etc.

Pardonwhat Thu 16-May-19 16:43:15

She could go and access contraception with or without your blessing but I think it’s very important that she has your support. I second whether the injection or implant may be better with her age.

PregnantSea Thu 16-May-19 16:43:59

She can go and get the pill without you. I did at 14. The nurses/doctors don't have a duty to inform the parents in these sorts of cases.

Also, if she decides she wants to have sex then she will go ahead and do it, whether or not she's on the pill. So it seems daft to try and stop her from going on the pill.

WeepingWillowWeepingWino Thu 16-May-19 16:44:07

The Pill won't protect her from STDs and can fail if she has a tummy upset so I think you still need to push the 'no condom no sex' line with her.

Personally I am dubious about the fact that it is considered the norm for girls and women to mess around with their hormones, but that is a different issue.

Amammi Thu 16-May-19 16:44:09

If she’s not responsible will she be ok remembering to take her pill daily? Other contraceptive methods may suit her better.

Heathcliff27 Thu 16-May-19 16:44:37

Not U at all but as prev posters i would be pushing for implant or injection

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc Thu 16-May-19 16:45:23

I'd go for implant or injection

Seniorschoolmum Thu 16-May-19 16:45:41

The pill requires her to take it on time. Would the implant be more reliable?

JacquesHammer Thu 16-May-19 16:47:14

I’m currently in discussion with the GP regarding the pill for my DD for her periods, she is 13 in autumn.

Can you guarantee she will remember the pill?

Ribeebie Thu 16-May-19 16:50:13

Not U at all. I agree that it would be worth looking at an implant though - teenagers often forget to take the pill reliably. Long acting contraception is better for everyone's peace of mind! Still good to chat to her Re condoms and STDs too.

springgreensunshine Thu 16-May-19 16:54:26

Another vote for implant or injection here. Why would you take the risk of teenage pregnancy otherwise? In an ideal world all girls would be sensible and never have sex without a condom and never fall for old wives tales about having sex standing up bring safe and no-one will ever get pregnant the first time. But this is the real world. You are doing the right thing, absolutely.

Aquamarine1029 Thu 16-May-19 16:56:02

She is even capable enough to remember to take a pill every day?

NurseButtercup Thu 16-May-19 16:58:53

I'd go for implant or injection

I agree with this and also suggest having conversation about STD's and give her some condoms.

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