Myself and my husband have always had a somewhat strained relationship with BIL and his wife. We just aren’t close, don’t click somehow and the relationship blows a bit hot and cold.
A few months back my BIL took offence at something minor that I did, albeit it was accidental on my part. He made quite a big issue out of it and for my husband it was the final straw. They have caused us offence on many occasions and we’ve always just taken a step back and let it go, maybe just giving them a wide birth until we were over it so my husband was annoyed at his brothers over reaction. I attempted to resolve things with the BIL but it became quickly obvious that in his eyes I go out of my way to offend them (which I don’t!) but anything they have done was of course not deliberate and just an oversight. It was quite evident that I’m just not liked by them! He wanted to air his views on why he dislikes me then wipe the slate clean and move on but I can’t, I was really hurt by some of the things he said! Any attempt I made to express myself was shot down.
Over the last few months BIL has attempted to make contact with my husband. He won’t apologise or accept any fault but wants to draw a line under it. They have involved other family members in an attempt to make us feel guilty and back us in to a corner and have given their version of events which of course paints me as the bad guy and them as completely innocent! This has resulted in family members pressuring us to resolve things.
My husband states that he is done and wants to just leave it. I feel torn, I on one hand hate to see my husband fall out with his only sibling when he doesn’t come from a close nit family but I equally can’t see how we can all just move on like nothing has happened when it’s so obvious they don’t like me and I’m never going to get it right with them. We all have children and feel that it’s sad they will miss out on a relationship but feel it’s more harmful for them to be mixed up in such a toxic mess! In my opinion we have all made mistakes, most of which are innocent mistakes caused by poor communication but unfortunately we are the only ones willing to accept any fault. Anyone been in a similar situation? I just don’t know what to do? Get over it and drag my husband along for the ride for the sake of the wider family or just stay well clear?
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Family Dispute
36 replies
UnicornDaisy · 16/05/2019 12:08
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ILoveAllRainbowsx ·
16/05/2019 13:05
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