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Advise me oh wise ones, holiday woes, not sure who's cheeky (is it us?)

(277 Posts)
RebeccaWrongDaily Tue 14-May-19 23:31:04

My sister has a holiday home overseas.She offered it to us for no charge (they use ours regularly) for ten days at the end of May beginning of June.
We have booked flights.
Chatting to her earlier this evening, she's said to me that some friends of hers (who I also know well, well enough to attend their wedding) are going to come over for a week while we're there.
This couple are going through severe marital woes, one has had an affair, the other is throwing themselves into the bottle.
They also have very small children (two toddlers) Neither parent is particularly attentive at the best of times. My DH has a tendency to be a helicopter parent. The villa has a pool without a fence. My children are pre-teen and 9.
I have clear visions of us spending the middle week listening to the parents bicker / have make up sex whilst we collectively stop their children from drowning and pick up the slack of early mornings etc.
Would you still go? Would you book somewhere else? Would you challenge your sister?
We stand to lose about 2k if we just don't go, and then would want to book elsewhere by the way which would be an additional cost. Are we cheeky fuckers for expecting sole use of the house?

Pipandmum Tue 14-May-19 23:34:17

Goodness I would be well annoyed if my sister did that to me! Of course you should have scorched sole use - I’d challenge her about it.

user1473878824 Tue 14-May-19 23:34:21

Go and live off the anecdotes and enjoy the time you didn’t spend with them!

Waterandlemonjuice Tue 14-May-19 23:34:31

Yanbu I’d be pissed off. And NFW would Igo.

SnowyAlpsandPeaks Tue 14-May-19 23:35:19

I wouldn’t have expected to be sharing unless told, I think that’s wrong. I do agree that you will probably end up looking after the little ones, it’s instinct isn’t it. Problem is as soon as they see you doing this, it will give them the red light to do what they want. 2k that’s a lot to lose. I’d challenge your sister over this. I think it’s wrong on every level.

Purpleartichoke Tue 14-May-19 23:36:27

I would be furious. You don’t just assign someone roommates when they aren’t expecting any.

Apileofballyhoo Tue 14-May-19 23:36:55

Could you book a few days somewhere else while they'll be there?

tensmum1964 Tue 14-May-19 23:37:32

That is awful. Tell your sister to uninvite them and of she won't then find alternative accommodation during the week that they are coming. Better to spend a bit more and have a good holiday rather than losing 2k.

BananaFace5 Tue 14-May-19 23:38:29

Could you afford a hotel for that middle week, then you dont completely lose out. But say to dsis that you had assumed youd be alone there so she knows in future you dont appreciate it!

Perch Tue 14-May-19 23:39:07

This won’t be a holiday for you at all. If you can’t cancel flights, can you find an airbnb/something else nearby? Hire a car and do a roadtrip? I would be very miffed with my sister, like you should be grateful for the crumbs off her table sad

RebeccaWrongDaily Tue 14-May-19 23:39:43

They have also booked flights as far as I am aware.
My sister is as 'relaxed' as they are so can't see the issue, I did react when she mentioned it, she thinks they really need the holiday (they do- so do we!)
DH has had a strong reaction and is furious, and thinks we ought to charge my sister rent for the time they have spent at our house (I obviously don't want to go down this path whilst seeing his point- We didn't do a timeshare swap, it's family)
gah, bloody families

Perch Tue 14-May-19 23:41:40

Can you share the location? Probably outing, but perhaps some MNetters can help you come up with ideas, sorry I’m assuming a lot here but i feel very pissed off on your behalf!

CalmdownJanet Tue 14-May-19 23:44:39

I would be absolutely fuming!! And if I didn't charge her for my house she certainly wouldn't get it again! I'd book somewhere else and say "It's absolutely not OK to have totally changed our holiday without talking to us. We have booked somewhere else but let's just cancel the arrangements of staying in each others holiday homes, it's definitely not working for us" cheeky bitch

Lollypop701 Tue 14-May-19 23:46:04

I’d be furious... I don’t want to holiday with other people unless I choose to. I’d definitely tell your sister and I’d tell her owes you the air fare!

notangelinajolie Tue 14-May-19 23:49:30

I'd still make use of those flight but book another villa.

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis Tue 14-May-19 23:50:39

Is there enough room for you all?

Abbazed Tue 14-May-19 23:53:57

Sister a total idiot!

Stompythedinosaur Tue 14-May-19 23:54:58

I think that's awful. What's the chance of getting other accommodation for the time they are there?

I 100% think you will end up supervising their dc and fuming if you share.

Abbazed Tue 14-May-19 23:55:26

As possible cancel the arrangement. Why should you babysit her friends. Find alt accom

Stompythedinosaur Tue 14-May-19 23:56:10

I think I'd also say something to your sister about how unfair she's been in light of using your holiday let and then not giving you sole use of hers.

Expressedways Tue 14-May-19 23:56:54

I’d be livid. Firstly, I’d arrange alternative accommodation or if that was to expensive I’d cancel. Spending a holiday with that family sounds horrendous. Then I’d tell your sister you’re very disappointed that she’s double booked you, that the previous arrangement of staying at each other’s houses is clearly no longer working and that next time she wants to visit your area she’ll have to make alternative arrangements as your place is no longer available to her. No you can’t back charge her for her previous visits though.

RebeccaWrongDaily Tue 14-May-19 23:57:23

There is enough room for both families. We've yet to stay there, they've used our place (alone and with their PiL/ Sil and family) a few times already for short breaks.

pallisers Tue 14-May-19 23:58:33

Is there enough room for you all?

How is that relevant? The OP doesn't want to share a house on holiday with people she doesn't know/wouldn't chose to holiday with.

I'd be furious if I were the OP and can well understand her DH's position.

I'd cancel staying at her place and tell her "you can't seriously expect me to spend my holiday with random other family can you?". and book another. Wouldn't charge her for staying at yours but wouldn't really offer it again either. She is nuts. Does she think you hoped to be staying in a hostel???

Girlzroolz Tue 14-May-19 23:59:30


Fork out for accomodation elsewhere to make your point. And put a freeze on use of your holiday house for a couple of years so she gets the message.

Surely no one is that ‘relaxed’ about double-booking near strangers to live together? That isn’t normal, and I know a fair few hippies!

Bambamber Wed 15-May-19 00:00:07

I would stay elsewhere if possible. And make it clear to your sister that she is never going to use yours again after he cheeky fuckery

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