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Advise me oh wise ones, holiday woes, not sure who's cheeky (is it us?)

(277 Posts)
RebeccaWrongDaily Tue 14-May-19 23:31:04

My sister has a holiday home overseas.She offered it to us for no charge (they use ours regularly) for ten days at the end of May beginning of June.
We have booked flights.
Chatting to her earlier this evening, she's said to me that some friends of hers (who I also know well, well enough to attend their wedding) are going to come over for a week while we're there.
This couple are going through severe marital woes, one has had an affair, the other is throwing themselves into the bottle.
They also have very small children (two toddlers) Neither parent is particularly attentive at the best of times. My DH has a tendency to be a helicopter parent. The villa has a pool without a fence. My children are pre-teen and 9.
I have clear visions of us spending the middle week listening to the parents bicker / have make up sex whilst we collectively stop their children from drowning and pick up the slack of early mornings etc.
Would you still go? Would you book somewhere else? Would you challenge your sister?
We stand to lose about 2k if we just don't go, and then would want to book elsewhere by the way which would be an additional cost. Are we cheeky fuckers for expecting sole use of the house?

Belindabelle Fri 17-May-19 12:55:49

My worry would be that the other family expect you to host and be in charge as the house belongs to your sister. General cooking, cleaning, clearing up will be left to you.

Also they arrive after you and the house will all be set up and aired by yourself. I bet they use your food and chilled drinks for a few days until they go shopping. They then bugger of back home leaving you to strip beds and empty bins etc.

MorningRichie Fri 17-May-19 13:00:40

Just don't acknowledge their existence at all. If their kids get near the pool, then they must be nearby as you won't be looking out for them.

Make their holiday as awkward as possible. They've fucked your holiday up so theres no way I'd let them have a nice time.

JingsMahBucket Fri 17-May-19 13:03:20


My worry would be that the other family expect you to host and be in charge as the house belongs to your sister. General cooking, cleaning, clearing up will be left to you.

Ugh, god I didn’t even think of that part. I partially wouldn’t blame them for assuming that but it’s still crap.

OP, definitely switch your hotel dates to be the last three days of your stay so you have total freedom of movement and aren’t stuck cleaning an entire house on your last day. Take pictures of the house every day you’re there and after they arrive so you can prove who made what mess. What a stressful holiday. Phooey.

Kittekats Fri 17-May-19 14:54:21

Make their holiday as awkward as possible. They've fucked your holiday up so theres no way I'd let them have a nice time.

That's a bit harsh. They might not have known! It's the sister that has fucked up the holiday and is at fault, not the other people invited.

PanamaPattie Fri 17-May-19 15:01:47

Is there only one set of keys and that’s why the holidays are shared?

WhereDoesThisToiletGo Fri 17-May-19 15:48:12

I wonder if the other family think they've got the place to themselves?
Your sis might not have let on to them either until after they booked.
We are assuming the other family are cheeky fuckers but they might not be.

NoSquirrels Fri 17-May-19 16:11:15

OP, if you know them well enough to have gone to their wedding, I’d get in touch now and explain your plan re: giving them space in the week, politely ask if it might be possible that they book somewhere for Sat and arrive on Sunday evening instead, and offer to make dinner/spend the evening before you leave Monday morning. That way you are establishing boundaries around food etc and you can also chat through practicalities if what to do at the end of the stay? Be nice but firm and take back some control?

Merryoldgoat Fri 17-May-19 16:43:45

Ok, I’ve got no idea how much money you guys have, but I would NOT be sharing with that couple, so I’d tell your sister if she isn’t willing to rescind her invitation to them then you’re not going.

I’d rent elsewhere and do my own thing and not let my sister use my house again.

I’d be absolutely fucking livid. I wouldn’t go there at all.

CoffeeWithMyOxygen Fri 17-May-19 16:53:11

I don’t see how 3 days at the Ibis is going to help, surely that just means wasting more of your holiday going back and forth? I’d have booked somewhere else for the duration if it was at all possible, or like someone else suggested put the Ibis stay at the end so you can’t get lumbered with their cleaning.

wibbletooth Fri 17-May-19 17:00:16

Tell your sis that as you wanted a family holiday on your own, you’ve ‘swapped’ with some people who will go in your place and you’ll organise another holiday later in the year...

Wait for her to blow up, say that the others aren’t going to want to be with strangers on holiday etc etc so that you can turn around and say that now she realises exactly how you feel about dreading your holiday rather than looking forward to it except unfortunately you’ve not been able to find anyone rude enough to want to share a holiday with friends of friends and so you’re stuck having paid ££££s for a holiday that will not be a holiday at all.

cstaff Fri 17-May-19 17:08:45

@wibbletooth - I like the way you think.

Merryoldgoat Fri 17-May-19 17:11:48


That is bloody genius.

Graceambrose Fri 17-May-19 19:22:20

Explain your concerns and book alternative accommodation. Enjoy your holiday.

Lily019 Sat 18-May-19 15:45:06

Your sister is wrong to push you into this and no wonder you are upset and stressed at the mere idea of it!
Frankly, the onus should be on HER to go back to HER friends, apologise for the mix up and get THEM to rearrange dates, and compensate them for extra charges for flight changes etc... This was never your problem, your sister created this and she should fix it!! Good luck!

elfies Sat 18-May-19 22:21:16

Try to enjoy your holiday wherever you end up .
please update us afterwards

Smelborp Sat 18-May-19 22:33:47

What a nightmare. I’d have to book accommodation for the entire stay elsewhere and never let her stay with you again.

Tinkerbell1980 Mon 20-May-19 19:27:13

Any update op? X

RevealTheLegend Mon 20-May-19 19:49:14


Fuck that brought back some memory I thought I’d blocked.

The game is Rummikub

We were stuck on a campsite for 2 weeks with a noisy bunch of fuckers who played that every damn night till the early hours. And with really complicated rules, with a bastarding kitchen timer that beepbeeepbeeeeeped every 14fucking seconds.


Grumpelstilskin Mon 20-May-19 20:08:58

Don't look after their kids. Seriously, ignore them, even if near the pool.

Groovee Mon 20-May-19 20:34:54

Hope your time in the hotel is lovely x

FelicisNox Wed 22-May-19 18:54:56

I would tackle your sister... she's your SISTER so why can't you be honest?

Just tell her what you told us and if she's not prepared to shift them to another date I would look for alternative accommodation.

You said you stand to lose 2K, that's a lot in flights for out of season, where is it? Sounds like the US?

fedup21 Wed 22-May-19 19:00:58

If your sister has got form for being a brat-you probably aren’t surprised by this! You’ll know to holiday elsewhere next time!

PrincessMonacoOfKent Fri 14-Jun-19 20:54:26

How was the holiday OP?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Fri 14-Jun-19 21:00:28

Just found this thread and hoping for an update.

tonian Sat 22-Jun-19 07:52:58

Yes me too!

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